Elizabeth B. Brown - What to Do When Life Falls Down Around You
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- Book:What to Do When Life Falls Down Around You
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- Year:2020
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Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People
Working Successfully with Screwed-Up People
Surviving the Loss of a Child
2016 by Elizabeth B. Brown
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Spire edition published 2020
Ebook edition created 2020
Previously published in 2016 under the title Standing Up When Life Falls Down Around You
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2271-5
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
To my BELOVED
Our cherished children
Kim, Paul III, LeeAnne, and Brad
And our grandchildren
Lauren, Ashley, Paul IV, Michael, Kaylee, and Mara Kathryn
When I sit on the porch talking to God about my life, I am going to thank Him for you.
Cover
Half Title Page
Other Books by Elizabeth B. Brown
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Prologue
1. Standing Up
2. Facing Your Giant
3. Finding Your Way: Taking Responsibility for Your Recovery
4. When Pain Is a Good Thing
5. Redirecting Your Thoughts and Your Emotions
6. Handling the Bully
7. The Elephant in the Room
8. When Problems Stack
9. The Stories You Believe
10. Coping with the Pop-Ups
11. Where Faith and Life Meet
12. The Help beyond Understanding
13. Letting It Go
14. Dealing with Family and Friends
16. When You Want to Help
17. The Forgotten Children
18. You Will Get Through This
Questions for Discussion
Acknowledgments
Appendices
A. Amys Letter
B. Scripture for Help in Difficult Times
C. Quick Reference Anchors
Notes
Bibliography
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
I write this book with aching sadness yet also with sure knowledge that doing so is a blessing. I want to share how we found our way to joy after a loss that knocked us to the ground, because someone, somewhere, doesnt feel he or she can. I am happy to tell you of the gift of faith and the blessing of caring family and friends. But, more than anything, I want to arm you with the tools that make recovery and recalibration possible. There are choices to be made in difficult times that will fill you with gratitude for life or allow you to sink further into despair.
Life has its incredible days; it also has days when it is hard to stop the flow of tears. Just keep pressing forward. A deep peace and an abiding joy can fill your spirit even in such times. Hold tight to the idiom that every day may not be good but there is something good in every day. See yourself as on a venture to find ways to overcome the hurt, not forget the past. There are ways to live with whatever has happened without hopelessness.
You may feel the world is over, just like a caterpillar locked in its cocoon. Cocoons are dark and frightening. Breaking free takes time and effort. The good news is that as a caterpillar breaks free it becomes a butterfly. It transforms from crawling in the muck to flying in the sky. So can you! I know such metamorphosis is possible.
We are programmed to work best by following the instructions of the Designer. The body rights itself, the emotions balance, and with each problem overcome we become stronger and more able. Be aware that you are in a war. Battles to prevail over emotions that beg you to wallow, wail, long, and rage are hard fought. Giving up is easierbut it is not better.
This book is not filled with religious clichs or pious laws. It is about trusting God as you wonder why . It is about making critical choices to live victoriously instead of merely surviving. Joy comes as you choose gratitude when instead you want to despair; you must find good in the present to break the chains that bind you to the past.
Wisdom embeds. Your walk and faith become simple. You trust Gods care even as you understand that your choices, not a magic eraser, will wash away the anguish. Come with me as we discuss the anchors and lifelines that steady your rocking boat in lifes storms.
Hang in there, friend. You are on a journey that has the power to make your life rich and deepen your appreciation for the moment. Everyone wants happiness; nobody wants pain. But you cant find the rainbows without the rain. I pray you may find hope and appreciation for your journey in What to Do When Life Falls Down Around You .
Joy is a choice. It can be your choice. The more you sing in the rain, the less disheartening the storm.
Come. Let us share together. Time is too precious to be squandered on anguish.
Standing Up
What happens to you is not as important as your response to it.
- ANCHOR : I learn what to expect and grab the lifelines that are anchors in the storm.
Hello, friend. I am sitting here this morning with you on my mind, wishing I could wave a wand and help you put your life back together. Im trying to do the same with mine. Sadly, you know as well as I do that nothing can magically erase loss, injustice, unfairness, hurt, and guilt. Life must be processed, in and out, for the heart to fill with hope. This process requires intentional effort to let go of the past to find joy in the present. This is a tall order when it seems easier to give up than to stand up.
I dont know your specifics. That isnt necessary. But I do know you picked up this book because you or someone you care about is in pain; life has fallen down around you. The fallout feels heavier than you can lift and bigger than you are; your emotions are chaotic and out of control. You are knocked to the ground and recovery seems impossible. You simply arent sure you can get back up. Where is the hope?
This book may help! At the very least it may arm you for future challenges, but I suspect you may be trying to navigate through a crisis now. Like me, you are probably not coping with a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps problem. This is an its-all-over, its-not-going-to-change, its-ended issue or, perhaps worse, you have to live with the ongoing problem. Recovery seems daunting. Do you have the strength?
Who could understand what you feel? Who could describe the shock when you were hit out of the blue, believing all was well and thenwham! Perhaps you saw the inevitable demolition about to happen. Who would appreciate your dauntless efforts to prevent the calamity? What if, most devastating of all, you recognized the crisis gathering and prayed fervently that the collapse or injustice would not happen? Yet it did!
What do you do when what has happened cannot be reversed; when health is irreparable; when a mistake, decision, or action cannot be revoked? Ive been there. Like you, I wondered why and wished I could turn back the clock. But now I am facing another catastrophe and this time I am armed. I first learned to travel through the rodeo of grief and its gruesome emotions by grabbing lifelines to pull myself from the devastating cocoon of longing for my daughter LeeAnne. She died from a viral encephalitis one week before her seventh birthday.
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