Sally Clarkson - Girls Club Experience: A Guided Journey Into Friendship

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Girls Club Experience: A Guided Journey into Friendship

Copyright 2019 by Sally and Joy Clarkson. All rights reserved.

Cover illustration of watercolor floral copyright swiejko/Creative Market. All rights reserved.

Designed by Eva M. Winters

Edited by Stephanie Rische

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ISBN 978-1-4964-3611-5

ISBN 978-1-4964-3613-9 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-4964-3612-2 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-4964-3614-6 (Apple)

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Friendship is one of the sweetest gifts in life. It was this deep conviction, based on our happy experience, that drove us to write Girls Club, our collaborative memoir about friendship. We believe friendship has not always been portrayed in the best light in our world, and for that reason, weve sometimes missed its power and beauty. Our hope was to paint a picture of friendship that shows its potential for bringing joy; stirring up growth; and calling us to our best, wisest, strongest selves. But we also feel that painting a picture is not enough. It is our hope that Girls Club chapters will pop up all over the world.

Friendship must be cultivated, like a garden. A beautiful garden will not grow if you do nothing to tend to the soil, sow seeds, water it regularly, and keep weeds out. Friendships likewise require time, care, questions, intentionality, patience, and love. If Girls Club sparked your imagination for the kind of friendship garden you could grow, perhaps this guidebook will give you the tools and seeds you need to start planting!

This guidebook can be used in several different ways. You may want to start from the beginning and work your way through all the exercises with one friend or a new friend or several different friends. Or you can dip in here and there and work through the chapters that strike you as most interesting or relevant for this stage of your life. Our main hope is that in pondering these questions and activities, you will develop deeper friendships or even start some new ones. We also hope this book will help you get to know yourself better so you can move into growing intimacy and trust with friends. No matter how you use the book, we think it will be a lot of fun. Spending time with someone who loves you enough to get to know you better not only bonds you with that person but also gives you a bigger vision of who you are.

This book contains practical exercises to help you grow deeper in your friendship as you work through them with a friend or a small group of friends. The goal of each chapter is to draw you out and into a deeper knowledge of and trust in one another. As such, there are a few important ground rules before getting started.

First, be a trustworthy friend, because trust is the foundation of any relationship. This book is meant to invite you into a deep, personal, probing journey. As we share about ourselves with worthy people, our trust in them grows, and we feel more closely connected. But to be able to trust, we must first have a sense of safety. For this reason, before you dive into this guide, we suggest that you make a commitment with your friends about when and how often you will meet. No one wants to feel like they went to a meeting, shared deep parts of themselves, and then never had an opportunity to connect with those people again. Making a commitment to get together for, say, four meetings will create a safe space for you to share and will cultivate a sense of continuity.

Furthermore, you and your friend or group should create some ground rules for discussion. Approach the conversations that spring from this book with humility and kindness. Do not ambush. Do not teach. Do not express harsh criticism, judgment, or contempt. Dont share your friends secrets or information with anyone else unless you have her permission. Listen actively; do not be distracted; try to care more about what other people say than what you say. You might consider making a no-phones policy for the time you spend together. Promise not to share each others secrets. Be each others advocates.

One final note: enjoy the journey! Friendship is a great delight; take it seriously, but seriously enjoy it. In our opinion, food bonds people together like nothing else, so try to eat something delicious together. Laugh and enjoy the process, and if you can, go someplace beautiful or fun. Make this a memorable journey together.

We hope this book will be the catalyst for many deep conversations, belly-aching sessions of laughter, and maybe even a few unexpected friendships.

Peace and love,

Sally and Joy

My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord G OD I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.

PSALM 71:15-18, ESV

Im the cover of a book
Whose pages are still being written.

FROM BEING A FATHER
BY RICHARD L. RATLIFF

J OY Your life is a story.