Copyright Page
2022 by Anjuli Paschall
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2022
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3597-5
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2016
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotation labeled TPT is from The Passion Translation. Copyright 2017, 2018, 2020 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Cover design by Ann Gjeldum
Cover photography by Jacob Bell
The author is represented by Alive Literary Agency.
Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible.
Dedication
Mom
For every cup of tea shared
For every God thing lived
For every song youve ever sung
Thank you.
Epigraph
Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.
E PHESIANS 5:14
Contents
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Books by Anjuli Paschall
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Introduction The Whole Truth
1. My Name Wake up to more meaning
2. RSVP Wake up to more acceptance
3. The Luckiest Wake up to more worth
4. A Knock at the Door Wake up to more humility
5. There Was an Accident Wake up to more hope
6. Thin Spaces Wake up to more miracles
7. Water Wake up to more intimacy
8. Glass-like Glory Wake up to more safety
9. Dish Towel Wake up to more faithfulness
10. The Monster Is Coming Wake up to more peace
11. This Is Not the End Wake up to more authority
13. It Was the Perfect Day Wake up to more power
14. The Fourth of July Wake up to more freedom
15. Palomar Hospital Wake up to more compassion
Discussion Questions
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Back Ad
Back Cover
Introduction
The Whole Truth
I ve spent most of my life trying to figure out how to be human. I know I am human. I know I am a living, moving, breathing, full of angst, anger, and tangible hopehuman. Ive tried to figure out how my body works and how my mind processes information. Ive tried to understand how the physical relates to the spiritual world. Ive worked tirelessly at navigating relationships and figuring out how to simplyget along with others. Yet, after all these years my soul is battered with the same bewildering questions: Am I living my life to the fullest? Am I doing what matters most? Am I fully awake? Honestly, I hate questions like these.
There is no better way to feel like a failure than to start really examining my life. Thats why I truly dread New Years. All the resolutions and finding your word for the year makes me want to take a long nap. Its like Im buried in piles of laundry and everyone else is talking about organizing the cans in the pantry by alphabetical order. I just cant keep up. I cant figure out the human thing. The longing to live a beautiful life is compelling. Yet, I instantly feel pressure and anxiety when I look at my actual life. Where I want to be and where I actually am are drastically different. When I look at my every day, Im unamused by it all. Im stumbling at best to live intentionally and without being daily irritated by dumb things like a slow drive-thru lane or someone ignoring my text. I get pulled and yanked by social causes and signing petitions. The rabbit hole of what to do, how to do it, and when to do it is as mind-bending as an underground subway system. Im rapidly approaching midlife, and I still dont fully know how to do life right or well . I feel like something is missing. I call it carpe diem syndromethe fear of not living life to the fullest.