Steve Silver - New Man Journey: Finding Meaning in Retirement

Contents

For it is because men have nothing high and lifted up to raise their eyes to, nothing bigger than themselves and their own world to worship and wonder at, nothing more certain than their own ideas by which to steer their destiny, nothing more inspiring than their own goodness to lead them to repentance, that life grows stale, feverish and frustrated, and bad dreams become a matter of course.

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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17

Foreword

Are we there yet?

Traveling across western states with my salesman dad, I spoke those words like many impatient eight-year-olds. Now, as a card-carrying member of the brotherhood of men, I confess that we dont like to stop to ask for directions. One husband responded to his wifes inquiry this way: I dont know where were going, but were making great time!

Hows your road trip working out?

Perhaps youve got a lot of stuff but are running on empty. Or your 401(k) is on life support. You identify with a Cymbalta commercial, and your wife just told you that her life is like a Lifetime movie. Can your script be rewritten? Instead of focusing on shaving strokes off your golf score or fixating on mediscare, those of us in our fifties and beyond must choose to flourish like a palm tree still bear[ing] fruit in old age (Ps. 92:1214).

Your departure toward newness begins now. This book will examine you more penetratingly than any TSA airport screening. Allow a layover. God has spared no expense in helping you know where youre going so that youll know when you get there.

As Steve Silvers Florida pastor, I have watched his own New Man Journey. Years ago we prayed about how he could be a high-impact player in semiretirement and retirement years, knowing that it is never too late to head in the right direction. He was heart-deep in desiring a life change in men and would be a catalytic leader of large and small mens groups. In his new book, he challenges us to move from regular-guy status to active-duty special ops, embedded behind enemy lines.

At our church, many of our laity, like Steve, have stopped chasing the American Dream for the vision from heaven (Acts 26:19). Steves sweet spot is connecting with guys who feel that talk about inwardness is like being the last kid picked in a shirts and skins gameand theyre the skins. Steve rejects Kiplings motto, He travels the fastest who travels alone, calling for caring but challenging community.

This book hums with energy, grabbing you by your mental, spiritual, and emotional lapels. As a skilled word-weaver, Steve employs unforgettable growth-pictures: dragon caves, flowing rivers, updated computers, empty snake skins, acquired corporations, new houses, and healthy lawns.

Since women purchase 80 percent of Christian books, it could be that I am talking to a woman right now. Ladies, you have learned not to be a dripping faucet with your husband, but to be like the fizz of soda pop to a thirsty man. Tell him to read this foreword, dive into the book, and be impressed with the authors transparency, love for his wife, and her respect for him.

When I asked my dad, Are we there yet? he would smile and encourage me, Look at the scenery, Hayesenjoy the journey. So lets buckle up and move on. Youll enjoy this Journey.

After all, were not There yet.

Dr. Hayes Wicker

Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church Naples

Acknowledgments

My wife, Sandyfor encouraging me to express in writing the passion and challenge that have driven me, and for being the anvil on which so much of my New Man metal has been forged. 1-4-3

My children and grandchildrenfor patiently coaxing out the best in me over the years with your constant love and all-too-often-needed grace.

Mens Golf Fellowship (MGF)You are the pioneers. This book grew out of my love for and time with all of you these past ten years.

MGF Small Groupfor your openness and mutual accountability on our journey together. Ive learned more from you than I can express here.

Dan Woodburyfor initiating the idea for a book and cheerleading the whole way.

My friends at David C Cookfor taking a chance on this project and for your support and assistance along the way.

James Lundfor your insightful and constructive editorial support.

Dr. Hayes Wickerwhose foreword to the book speaks for itself to the great friend and encourager hes been.

All who so graciously provided work-in-progress and prepublication opinions, suggestions, and endorsements.

Stan Geyer (19482012)for his friendship, partnership in MGF, encouragement of New Man Journey and for leading the way to ultimate victory.

Introduction

If youre a retired guyor are approaching retirementor are simply thinking ahead to your senior years, then this book is for you. You may be in the sweet spot of life, reeling from a crisis, struggling with unforeseen issues, or somewhere in between. Whatever the case, my guess is that youve given life your all, have tried to make an impact as a husband, father, colleague, and friend, and are hoping for an even better endgame.

Only theres a problem.

You cant quite define it, but it gnaws at you. Youre dissatisfied. You have questions: Will this tour through the years end the way you planned? Is each day filled with too much routine and too little substance? Is there more to life than this?

Are you missing something?

These are common questions, especially near the end of a career, after many years of marriage, or when the bloom is off the rose of retirement. I know the feeling because Ive been there myself. It was questions like these that launched me on an amazing journeyone that placed me in the center of a movement of a thousand men in southwest Florida, guys who now meet weekly in small groups to discuss meaning in retirement challenges and opportunities.

This book has grown out of ten years of intimate conversations with many of these men. It addresses the prominent and growing concerns of those of us who sense, like the poet Andrew Marvell, times winged chariot hurrying near. We cant reverse our bodys aging process. Theres no reason, however, for our spirit to remain stuck in a holding pattern. Were capable of much more. We can make the rest of our lives the best of our lives.

In the final chapter of his classic work Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis provided a picture of what Im talking about. He was not referring to someone whos only tinkered with a few adjustments, but to a person entirely transformed. He called it the New Man:

Already the new men are dotted here and there all over the earth. Some, as I have admitted, are still hardly recognisable: but others can be recognised. Every now and then one meets them. Their very voices and faces are different from ours: stronger, quieter, happier, more radiant. They begin where most of us leave off. They are, I say, recognisable; but you must know what to look for. They will not be very like the idea of religious people which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less. They will usually seem to have a lot of time: you will wonder where it comes from. When you have recognized one of them, you will recognize the next one much more easily.