Natalie Evans - The Mixed-Race Experience: Reflections and Revelations on Multicultural Identity

I did see the conductor again at the end of 2021. I was on the train heading to London from Margate and when I looked up, he was walking towards me asking to see train tickets. When I asked him if his name was [] he looked concerned, he didnt understand how I knew him. Then when I explained he smiled. We chatted. I asked to take a picture and he politely asked me not to put it on social media. He told me how he also got a lot of attention from that video. It was lovely to see him again as I think about him often.

Sarah uses the term mixed people in her work, and we have retained the use of the term here.

Some names appear with an asterisk and have been changed to protect the privacy of interviewees who wanted to remain anonymous.

The issue here is not that I viewed adoption as an insult, but the assumption about my family set-up or the implication that my white mum couldnt be my biological mum was highly problematic.

A powerful and important read challenges, interrogates, inspires and gives you much to think about and lots to act on. A book for anyone who truly wants to ask difficult questions of themselves, have deeper conversations with loved ones or colleagues and responsibly be a part of real change Melissa Hemsley, author of Feel Good and Eat Green

Without reading this book you will struggle to properly understand and appreciate our rapidly emerging future as a country Nels Abbey, author of Think Like a White Man

The accessible and informative work of @everydayracism_ is fundamental to creating a better Britain. Read, share, and do your bit in creating a framework for equality Gemma Cairney, author of Open

Naomi and Natalie touch on things Ive felt my whole life, but never had the language to articulate myself. A welcome resource for the many individuals and families who are struggling to feel that sense of true belonging Ruby Rare, author of Sex Ed

Packed with thought-provoking interviews and practical advice for us all Jaspreet Kaur, author of Brown Girl Like Me

This book gave my feelings a place, showed me that it was okay to take ownership over my racial identity and made me not feel so alone Natalie Alexis Lee, author of Feeling Myself

Naomi and Natalie are truly inspirational thought leaders Sophie Williams, author of Millennial Black and Anti-Racist Ally

VINTAGE

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First published by Square Peg in 2022

Text copyright Natalie and Naomi Evans, 2022

The moral rights of the authors have been asserted

Cover Design Emma Make Studio

ISBN: 978-1-473-59450-0

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

To the mixed-race folk who have been searching for a place to belong.

The distinct memory of Saturday mornings in our family home. The smell of Dads Softsheen Magic shaving powder pinching the backs of our throats. The sound of bacon and eggs sizzling in the pan downstairs from Mum making breakfast. The vibrations from the record player belting out Bob Marleys Three Little Birds so loud it woke us up and called us downstairs. Come here, your hair needs combing out! Dad would say, looking at our thick, brown, dry mass of curls. We would look at each other and charge back upstairs, laughing. When Dad brushed out our hair, it hurt. Leave them alone! Mum would say. She didnt see the problem with letting our hair run free, but Dad didnt like it. For us, growing up in a mixed-race family sometimes felt like occupying the space in between. Not always knowing which way to turn, which parent to listen to. Often trying to navigate who we were and who we wanted to be.

This is the book that we wish we had when we were growing up. The book we would have wanted our parents to read and the book we wish we could have given to our family and friends to help them better understand some of the experiences we would have, and issues that we would face. Its complex. No ones life episodes are identical. There is no singular, mixed-race experience, but one thing weve learned through writing this book is that as with any community of people there are distinct commonalities and threads that link us.

You may or may not identify as mixed race. We hope that those of you reading this who do not identify as mixed race will find something new to reflect upon. Perhaps you are in an interracial relationship, or raising mixed-race children, or maybe you are simply intrigued to learn more about something unfamiliar to you. Whatever has brought this book to you, we hope you will read with an open heart and mind. Whenever you bring people together whether its discussing experiences of class, race, gender or sexuality there must be room for listening to, and learning from, each other. We have written with reference to our own lives and have also interviewed a range of people, reflecting different facets of the mixed-race experience. We are immensely grateful to everyone who gave up their time and opened up to us, sharing their thoughts and reflections, so we could share peoples stories and insights with you at this moment in our time.

This book will, inevitably, have its limitations. For one, the title itself implies there is one account to be told, which is, of course, not the case. We are from a small seaside town in England. The area we grew up in was white-majority, and it wasnt until we moved away that we realised just how problematic some situations in our childhood had been. We have one white and one Black parent. As mixed-race women racialised as Black, we face racism and sexism and, at the same time, hold other privileges such as being light-skinned, able-bodied and cisgender. We will never experience homophobia, transphobia or ableism.

Mixed-race people are not a homogenous group. We would never be able to write a neat little book about such a wealth of identities and nor would we want to. Being mixed race is often depicted as having at least one white parent and one Black parent, but this, too, is a misconception. We would not try to, and would never want to, write on behalf of others, which is why we interviewed a range of people and have included their quotes and stories to try to reflect the subjects that can arise within the mixed-race experience. We do not for one moment suggest that we have covered everything, but we have aimed to cover some of the main congruities within the experiences of a selection of people who identify as belonging to a mixed-race community congruities such as colourism, racism and identity, to name a few.