Women of Faith - Friendship: Cultivating Relationships That Enrich Our Lives

A s a child I used to worry about Oliver Twist. He lived in a cold, drafty orphanage in London and had to beg for more than one bowl of gruel. I could not imagine the desperation required to simply eat one bowl of gruel; to actually beg for more was astonishing. Of course it was the only food he got, so the thin, watery porridge was better than nothing.

I knew Oliver was a fictional character Charles Dickens thought up, but the fate of Oliver reflected the fears I had about my own future. Since I was an only child with no relatives, it would only take two bad hits to make me an Oliver.

As I think back to my early concerns for Oliver and myself, those concerns were about isolation, the fear of human disconnectedness. I never experienced that disconnectedness, but the fear of it stayed with me long past the fifth grade.

In the prison system the most dreaded form of punishment is to be put in solitary confinement. God created us for relationships, and unless one has serious anti-social tendencies, no one wants to live in solitary. It runs counter to our God-given nature.

Scripture gives good press to the need and healing potential found in human relationship. Jesus traveled and ministered to others in the context of His relationship with twelve disciples. He set a great example for us to pray together, eat together, and experience the highs and lows of life together.

As you might imagine, human relatedness in the form of friendship is vital to me. One of my favorite verses on friendship is found in Proverbs 27:9. The Message translates it: Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.A friend refreshes my soul in many ways, but my top three refresher requirements are humor, reciprocity (I talk, you talk, we both listen), and availability. These three refreshers contribute to my experience of connection and bonding. As I take a look at what Ive just written, wouldnt those three friendship qualities make for a great discussion group?

I can just imagine you sitting with a group of women studying Friendship: Cultivating the Relationships That Enrich Our Lives. Theres nothing as bonding as coming together as a group with the intent of learning more about each other, sharing your good times and not so good times, and laughing together over some of the crazy things that happen on lifes journey.

One of my most memorable study groups included an unlikely participant by the name of Myrtle Tribunal. She was older than the rest of us, wore peculiar clothing, and spoke her mind whenever she felt like it. We were all a little unsure about how Myrtle would fit into our format, but one of the girls in the group invited her so we went along. Myrtle soon won our hearts as she shared stories about her five children, gave advice about ours, laughed heartily about her lack of clothes sense and listened attentively as we shared our insecurities about marriage, careers, and relationships. She always had a wise word to say to each of us even though it was sometimes a startling solution none of us would have thought of.

One morning Myrtle simply did not wake up. We were stunned and felt the enormous loss of her presence in our lives and all that she had contributed to our group. We knew too not waking up would have been Myrtles preference for leaving the earth. She never did do the expected thing.

I encourage you to use this study guide as a way of extending your borders for friendship and personal enrichment. Myrtle would assure you its the best thing you can do for yourself.

MARILYN MEBERG