Linda Ugelow - Delight in the Limelight

Y ears ago, I abandoned a big dream.

As a child, all I ever wanted to do was dance. At eighteen I took a class in dance/movement therapy and was impassioned to make a societal impact by turning people onto the magic of dance and creating communities of dancing divas. The classes I led were creative and fun, and I connected with a few incredible souls. But I knew squat about business and marketing, and after twenty years of furtively posting flyers on bulletin boards and streetlamp poles, I gave up the dream.

This is what I told myself: Who was I to think I was so important that what I had to share was worthwhile or any better than someone else? Thats just being grandiose, right? And besides, I just didnt have it in me to know how to go about being a person of impact.

After fifteen years of wandering in the proverbial career desert, I finally discovered a new passion in organic farming, and I created a business growing specialty vegetables for local restaurants. I loved to see itty bitty seeds sprout out of the soil and become yellow tomatoes with red streaks or tender-leaved baby collards. It was an introverts paradise to tend a small farmfor a few years.

One day, I sat on the ground to weed around the onions and listen to a course module from online business coach Marie Forleo on how to start the right business. Suddenly I shot to my feet. Being a farmer is kinda cool, I thought, but its not what Im meant to do. I wanted to make an impact, grandiose or not, and here I was playing small, hiding behind the kale.

At that moment, I made a decision. I would become an online entrepreneur. I had no idea exactly what I would do or how I would get there, but one thing was clear: if I reached the end of my life and I hadnt seen what I was capable of, I would be filled with regret. As I looked over the fields and woods in the distance, I felt the call of a heros journey.

Do you dream of greatness? Do you have a secret fantasy or vision of your personal impact at work or as an entrepreneur that could move you into a whole new sphere of influence? If you never let the secret speaker out, will you get to the end of your life filled with regret?

Jeannie was a risk-taker. Out of school, she sold everything she owned, moved to Los Angeles, where she didnt know a soul, and got work as a playwright. She discovered a favorite cafe and spent her days writing there along with other Hollywood creatives. One of them, a screenwriter, became a close friend.

At the time, Jeannie was obsessed with a certain hour-long TV drama. Absolutely obsessed. As fate would have it, this particular friend knew many of the writers for that show and generously offered to set up a meeting between Jeannie and the writers. He asked her to prepare a pitch for a potential storyline for the show. What serendipity, right? It was a dream come true!

The day came. Jeannie didnt go to the meeting. She was just too terrified. Decades later, full of regret, she still wonders how her life would have unfolded had she been able to show up and share her ideas that day.

I dont want that to happen to you. I dont want you to give up on your dream because you are afraid to be seen. Nor do I want you to live with regret.

Have you ever watched others take the stage and yearned to be that person? Or have you dreamed of the opportunities and recognition that would come your way if only you could get yourself to regularly make videos or speak at your local chamber of commerce or represent your team at work? Do you wish you could just feel confident and at ease when all eyes are on you?

Your dream can come true. You can be that person onstage, unafraid. You can shine on camera. You can feel better and more confident about your speaking than you ever imagined. Im not saying this in a rah-rah motivational way. I really believe its possible. You can transform the fear and learn to love being in the limelight.

I know this is true because of how I was able to make this transformation myself, and quickly, too, after decades of suffering.

Back in grad school, before I found a career as a farmer, I created an independent study in the Expressive Therapies program and researched a practice called Authentic Movement. Its like a cross between stream-of-consciousness and movement meditation.

Here it is in a nutshell: You, as the mover, close your eyes and listen for an impulse to move your body, and give permission to let it happen. The movement inevitably morphs into something new, and you let that happen too. Its as if you let your body speak in its own language of movement and your mind simply follows along with keen interest, fascination even, as you notice the sensations, your emotions and mental associations. Its kind of like being in a trance or high on something. I thought it was totally cool.

My advisor, Marion, in her sincere desire to support me in my passion, suggested I give a presentation about it. Wed invite professors from the various Expressive Therapies departments: drama, music, art, and dance.

I was flattered by her suggestion. It sounded so grown up and important. The only problem was, I had never given a talk and had no idea how to go about it. I definitely did not know how to plan for one. So, I didnt plan. I figured Id improvise what I wanted to say in the moment.

As the room filled with important people, my body began to shake and tremble. And when I stood up to speak, I discovered to my horror that the saliva in my mouth had completely vanished and been replaced by cotton. I never knew my mouth could feel so totally dry.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. More than anything, I wanted to crawl inside a hole. But I valiantly stood there and tried again. Still no sound.

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish.

Marion leaned forward and whispered, Linda, would you like a glass of water?

What a godsend! The water gave me back my sound, but my brain never recovered. I rambled and stumbled along until the ordeal was finally over.

I dont remember what I said that day. I only recall feeling deeply embarrassed and ready to crawl under the covers.

After that mortification I stayed under the covers as far as public speaking was concerned for a decade, and it was still another fifteen years after that before I finally discovered how to overturn my anxiety so I could not just get up to speak, but even enjoy the process.

Im eternally grateful for that pivotal moment because thats what brought me to write this book: I dont want you to waste your precious time fearing public speaking, like I did. Today I work with entrepreneurs, employees, and executives to transform their trepidation of public speaking, whether on camera or to a live audience. How I did it, how they did it, and how you can, too, is the subject of this book.

When we hear the word speaker, we tend to picture a person on a stage or behind a podium. Today, though, speaking is not limited to these settings. Speaking platforms have grown with our ever-expanding technology to include video, livestreaming, webinars, tele-summits, podcasts, TV , and more.

Anyone who chooses to can spread their message on a bigger scale, to make connections and influence the conversation. If you want to be part of that and youre holding back, youre missing out.

But its not just what you miss out on thats at stake here. Its also what other people miss out on. Because Jeannie was unable to get over her fear, her would-be fans missed out on the amazing stories she would create.

And this goes for you too. If youre not getting out there, think about all the people who cant get your help, inspiration, or perspective. You owe it to them and to yourself to be visible.

You may rather tweet your way into leadership, or get credit at work for the behind-the-scenes support you provide. You may wish to create impact with a book or a blog. Ah, but heres the catch. These days, a book needs to be promoted. If your blog draws a big following, youll be asked to speak.