Kevin Ott - Shadowlands and Songs of Light: An Epic Journey Into Joy and Healing

Grace makes beauty out of ugly things, Bono sings, and Kevin Ott writes with openness, passion, and hard-won insight about the grace he found in U2 and C. S. Lewis when walking through one of lifes most troubling episodes. Readers will receive the gifts of Otts honesty, wisdom, and enthusiasm for life from this book, as I did, and will find that at the intersection of U2, Lewis, and scripture, he has built a richly layered playlist.

SCOTT CALHOUN, Professor of English, Cedarville University, director of the U2 Conference and editor of Exploring U2: Is This Rock n Roll? Essays on the Music, Work, and Influence of U2

U2 and C. S. Lewis! What an amazing combination that guides the soul soaked in sorrow into a place of illuminated peace. Kevin Ott brilliantly takes a deep emotional dive that surfaces in the presence of Jesus. I am so pleased to recommend this book to everyone who has known depression, suffering, and sadness. Kevin artfully combines his skill as a worship leader and inspirational speaker to help us understand the liminal space between brokenness and healing.

RANDY PHILLIPS, of the musical group Phillips, Craig & Dean

Kevin writes about music in a way Ive never seen before. It brings all the deeper things of our existencejoy, philosophy, theology, imagination, and hopeto life. It transforms you.

MOSES SUMNEY, acclaimed recording artist and songwriter, and a collaborator with the Grammy-winning artist Beck

Otts insightful analysis and personal testimonial result in a persuasive and powerful presentation of the ability of artistic expression and spiritual exploration to aid in healing and growth. The authors own training and experience as a musician, composer, songwriter, worship leader, author, blogger, and film critic give him a unique perspective on creativity and the Creator. Readers will discover how it is possible to tap into unexpected depths of joy even while wrestling with profound loss.

REV. JON EYMANN, MA, Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychotherapist, and Manager of Crisis Services, Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness

Kevins intense hunger for God comes through on every page. This book does more than just bring joy into times of sorrow. It will change your life and awaken a deeper hunger to pursue God with all of your heart.

DR. KODJOE SUMNEY, Founder of Mission Africa Incorporated, an award-winning humanitarian group in Africa, and the presiding pastor over the Annual Parliamentary Conference, a national prayer conference held in the parliament of Ghana, Africa

BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC

Racine, Wisconsin, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

SHADOWLANDS AND SONGS OF LIGHT: AN EPIC JOURNEY INTO JOY AND HEALING

Copyright 2016 Kevin Ott

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5291-7 (hardcover)

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5292-4 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James Version, copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188, USA. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture marked TPT is taken from Song of Songs: Divine Romance, The Passion Translation, copyright 2014, 2015. Used by permission of BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC, Racine, Wisconsin, USA. All rights reserved. www.thepassiontranslation.com.

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail .

Cover design by Chris Garborg, garborgdesign.com

Interior design and typeset by Katherine Lloyd, TheDESKonline.com

Printed in China

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Dedication

For the daring ones who raised meMom and Dad, who established me in Christs words, and then used backpacking in the Sierras, imagination, and unconditional love to show me Christs heart; my brother Evan, whose contagious love of reading, music, and humor brought constant joy to my childhood; and my brother Ian, who opened C. S. Lewis world to me in Oxford and inspired me to believe that anything is possible.

I long for melodies

To chase away the darkness of my fears

And tickle me with laughter

SALLY OTT

T he news came while I held the book Planet Narnia in my hands, about to turn the page. My dad was calling from California, three days after Christmas. I was in snowy Ohio, and getting a call from him while I traveled was unusual. Although close, we werent phone people, instead preferring face-to-face conversations, usually with a good cup of coffee or a leisurely dinner. There had been several missed calls already and urgent text messages asking me to call back as soon as possible, though I hadnt heard or seen any of them. I had been away from my phone all morning, and I didnt think to check my phone as I sat down to read. I was too eager to dive into the world of Narnia. Another call came in. This time I was within earshot of the phone, and I looked and saw all the missed messages. Fear fluttered in my stomach as I lifted the phone to my ear. Something wasnt right.

By the time the conversation ended, tears slid down my face and fell onto the book.

My mom had passed away during the night.

No one had seen it coming. She had some unusual health problems for a sixty-two-year-old, but nothing that had brought the d word to our lips during our Christmas celebration. Only a week earlier she had called me, excited about watching the Christmas movie Elf with me when I returned home.

I had been finishing page twenty-nine of Planet Narnia when the call came in. A few weeks later, I returned to the book to distract myself, but as I turned to page thirty, I couldnt bear reading it. The page became a point of terrible demarcation, a boundary line as imposing as the Abyss. A few weeks earlier, when I had read page twenty-nine, my mom had been alive. But on page thirty she was gone from the world. A sliver of paper had formed a chasm as significant as BC and AD in history, and it now divided my life.

My mom loved books like Planet Narnia. She would not have approved of me putting it down. But I couldnt help it. Reading about Narnia had changed from joy to dismal darkness. A shadow had fallen over those lands, enshrouding even the golden face of Aslan the great lion. In the story The Magicians Nephew, a miraculous fruit from Aslan saved Digorys ailing mother from death. But instead of a lion bringing a gift to me in the nick of time, a season when it is always winter but never Christmas came, as if the White Witch had returned and re-established her terrible kingdom.