Simon Benjamin - Self-hatred: Body-based Methods for Healing Self-loathing

Copyright 2015 by SimonBenjamin.

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What isself-hatred exactly ? What isit comprised of? How does it arise? Why is almost everyone on Earthsuffering from some type of self-destructive mechanism? I explorethese questions in this brief e-book. I am still in the process ofunderstanding and solving the very complex puzzle that isself-hatred this is what I know so far . My approach, which seems to be quite unique, iscompletely body-based and practical.

Thise-book is meant to provide an overview of my perspective onself-hatred and includes an outline of a few healing techniques. Ishare my view of self-hatred, its causes, components and possiblesolutions. I hope you find this helpful and useful in some shape orform; it is information that has been beneficial throughout my personal journey.

Kind regards,

Simon Benjamin

Self-hatred is mostly an unconscious process it can be passed from caregivers to children without anyawareness. If you are suffering from self-hatred, chances are thatyou are a highly sensitive person who has internalized twisted waysof handling emotions. From a certain perspective, self-loathing isalmost like a genetic condition it can be an epidemic in familiesand even entire cultures. If we had a choice in having self-hatredor not, I am sure all of us would avoid it.

If self-hatred is mostly unconscious, firststep would be to become conscious of it as much as possible. We cando that by understanding its components, its causes and ways ofoperation. After getting a clearer grasp of self-hatred at anintellectual level, we may be able to solve our inner conflicts byengaging the stifled emotions that are involved. Intellectuallyunderstanding self-hatred is the first step in healing thistreacherous epidemic.

Becauseself-hatred operates underneath everyday awareness, it usuallyescapes detection. We may not be able to completely control how and when self-hatred gets activated. However, withawareness, we may be able to alleviate its intensity and reduce itsdebilitating effects. Now that I am somewhat conscious of myself-hatred, I see that it's been there for a long time. It's beenoperating at a really deeplevel within me, exerting influence on all my choices.

Obsessions with being and looking perfect can stem directly from deeply buried feelings ofself-loathing. Concentrating on tiny surface details can be a wayof escaping direct confrontation with unpleasant emotions. Manytypes of addictions can be rooted in self-hatred as well.Superficially treating addictions can only go so far. Real recoveryis not possible without addressing deep and underlying emotionaldynamics. Healing self-hatred requires confronting and feelingrepressed and evasive emotions that are tied to itsmechanism.

As dreadful as it is, we can sometimes becomecomfortable within self-hatred's restrictive walls, so venturingout can be frightening on multiple levels. Self-hatred is aslippery process to understand and can be difficult to recognizewithin oneself. However, if we simplify and break it into smallchunks, we can comprehend its essence and achieve some amount ofrelief from its unpleasant effects.

Oneshould not go into self-hatred's darkness without properpreparation and appropriate healing tools, however. Jumping intofeelings of self-hatred without any planning, knowledge andawareness can be frightening, confusing, messy and even dangerous.Using various body-based methods, the venom inside self-hatredshould be safely and slowly processed and released over time. Otherwise, it can causemore harm to oneself and/or others.

True healing is almost always simple butnever easy. The painful and long process of healing involvesunderstanding, safely processing and unraveling distorted emotions learning how to manage all emotions in healthy ways. It alsorequires time, effort and patience.

Beinginsidious, self-hatred cannot be substantially affected by measuressuch as meditation and visualization practices. Getting lost inabstract psychological concepts and talk-based treatments cansometimes be a waste of time. A more significant solution is tounderstand and process the repressed emotional states which propeland power self-hatred into motion. Feeling and processingemotions sounds easy but,due to unhealthy emotional training we all receive, it can be quitechallenging. Through feeling shunned emotions, however, we slowlyhalt the cycle of destruction within us.

Deepself-love and joy are possible butonly after trappedemotions have been understood, processed and safely released. Realself-forgiveness is physical; it comes from creating space withinyourself for full and relaxed breathing. True self-compassioncannot be achieved by merely chanting and praying, which are oftenused to hide and cover unpleasant truths and rottenemotions.

It is difficult to feel alive when there's aconstant war between various fractions of your self. Once thatinternal battle subsides, however, you can slowly learn how tonavigate flowing emotions. This can help us be complete and feelcontent most of the time, instead of perpetually seekingdistractions to numb ourselves. Unfortunately, modern humans havealmost countless methods of distracting and numbing themselvesagainst painful realities and unpleasant emotions that's whyhealing can be so difficult to achieve. Therefore, we may need tobreak away from mainstream ideas in order to achieve truehealing.

To defineit in only two words, self-hatred is anger mismanagement : anger that is either carelessly thrownat others or completely suppressed. Essentially, self-loathing is asymptom of an unhealthy flow of anger ; it's a result of mishandling very intenseemotions.

To learnmore about emotions, I highly recommend reading The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren. Karla's workis paramount in acquiring a wholesome/balanced view of emotions she teaches how to relate to emotions in healthy ways.

I don't see self-hatred as some type ofspiritual or soul-related conundrum, nor do I see it as someoverly complicated and impossible psychological riddle. Those kindsof approaches to healing can sometimes be detrimental rather thanhelpful. As stated before, self-hatred is mainly mismanagement ofanger it's not merely a mental phenomenon it's a physicalcondition. In this regard, my perspective is different from mostanalysts.

Themechanism of self-hatred almost always involves mishandled rage(and other forms of anger). The key is in safely accessing and processing anger through the body,in small increments, employing, for instance, therapies likeearthing/grounding, crying, body-work (like massage), exercise,art, etc. I discuss these methods in the followingsections.

Before we move on, let's look at the two mostcommon, extreme and unhealthy ways of handling anger. Let's callthose who violently express anger Anger Exploders and let's callthose who suppress anger Anger Suppressers. Both, Anger Explodersand Anger Suppressers, may need identical healing techniques,because both modes denote abnormal relationship to anger.

Most of us are either Anger Exploders orAnger Suppressers, sometimes swinging from one extreme to the otherin a span of one day. Sadly, very few of us have healthy andfunctional relationship with emotions. The fact that anger isconstantly demonized in popular culture doesn't help in gettingproper emotional training and healing. Global wars would occurinfrequently if most of us had productive and harmoniousrelationships with anger, or with other intense emotions for thatmatter.