Rachel Hart - Why Cant I Drink Like Everyone Else?: A Step-by-Step Guide to Understanding Why You Drink and Knowing How to Take a Break

Why Cant I Drink Like Everyone Else?

Advance Praise

One book can change your life forever. Rachel Hart has written that book. If you are someone who has struggled with drinking too much and struggled with finding a way to stop, look no further. When I was drinking too much, I would spend hungover mornings scouring the Internet and bookstores for a solution to drink less. I wanted to know how to do it, what to tell my friends, how to have a good night without it, and how to do all of that without attending one AA meeting. I couldnt find it.

Then came Rachel. Rachel literally changed my life with one sentence, My life is way better without alcohol. I believed her. She was an intelligent, beautiful, successful and funny woman and she didnt drink. She wasnt in AA. She used to love alcohol and now she didnt. She wasnt just surviving a life without it; she was thriving.

I wanted to know how. I wanted every single detail. I wanted what she had. Fortunately for all of us, she has written this book telling us how exactly to do it. She doesnt just teach us what to do; she teaches us why. The why is what makes it easy to maintain. The why is what helps us stop beating ourselves up, stop using willpower, and ultimately stop suffering. Its the book that can hand you back your power to take a break from drinking, but more importantly, understand what it was all about in the first place.

She reminds us that drinking too much is not a character flaw. Its a learned habit. It makes sense that we do it. Ultimately, she shows us that we dont have to completely change who we are to stop drinking. In fact, we need to do the opposite. We just need to be willing to be with ourselves without the escape. Its a gentle and kind process, not one that insists our character flaws are the cause of our shortcomings. Drinking isnt a shortcoming; its a misguided way to feel better. Our desire to feel better is good, not bad.

If you drink more than you want, I beg you to read this book immediately. Do everything she suggests. Hire her to help you. She was absolutely right; my life is so much better without alcohol. Shes not just a perfect example of that being true, but also a very wise teacher and coach who can show you the way. I couldnt recommend her work more.

Brooke Castillo , Master Coach Instructor and Founder of the Life Coach School

Rachel Hart is a wise and compassionate guide who offers an effective, evidence-based strategy for those looking for a way out of problem drinking. As someone who has walked the talk, Rachel utilizes a combination of tools and insights to weave together a unique, jargon-free book that is filled with personal anecdotes, exercises, and insights that readers will find very useful and engaging. This book is already on my recommended reading list for my clients.

Phillip Cha , LMFT

With a voice full of compassion, Rachel Hart takes the readers by the hand and offers to lead them on a step-by-step journey away from their despair about drinking.

Stephen Grimes , LCSW, ACT

Why Cant
I Drink Like
Everyone
Else?

A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO
UNDERSTANDING WHY
YOU DRINK AND KNOWING
HOW TO TAKE A BREAK

RACHEL HART

NEW YORK

NASHVILLE MELBOURNE VANCOUVER

Why Cant I Drink Like Everyone Else?

A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING WHY
YOU DRINK AND KNOWING HOW TO TAKE A BREAK

2018 RACHEL HART

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing in partnership with Difference Press. Morgan James is a trademark of Morgan James, LLC.
www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

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ISBN 978-1-68350-480-1 paperback

ISBN 978-1-68350-481-8 eBook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017902787

Editing: Cynthia Kane

Authors photo courtesy of Hazel & Pine

Cover Design by:

Rachel Lopez

www.r2cdesign.com

Interior Design by:

Bonnie Bushman

The Whole Caboodle Graphic Design

In an effort to support local communities, raise awareness and funds, Morgan James Publishing donates a percentage of all book sales for the life of each book to Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater Williamsburg.

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The content of this book does not provide medical advice and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information contained in this book, irrespective of the language in which it is written, shall not be construed as medical advice, implied or otherwise. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Information contained in this book is intended to be used for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

To everyone who offered their love and support.
You know who you are.

As you read through this book, youll notice that I dont use the labels alcoholic, addict, sober, or recovery to describe my story. Throughout college and my twenties, alcohol was a source of a lot of fun and a lot of problems in my life. During this period, I had an on-again, off-again relationship with drinking. For too long I struggled on my own because the only help and resources I could find required wearing a label for the rest of my life, and that didnt feel right.

I dont believe it makes sense to divide the world into normal drinkers and alcoholics. This black-and-white thinking leaves a lot of people who dont feel like they belong in either camp out in the cold. The way people use and interact with alcohol changes over time and in different contexts. Labels dont reflect these kinds of ebbs and flows or the different degrees of struggle.

Labels reduce a complex, multifaceted person into a single behavior. Some people find labels empowering. Other people find them stigmatizing, especially when a predominate cultural narrative connected to a specific label is rife with stigma, shame, and stereotypes. In my case, I dont identify as an alcoholic, sober, or recovered. These labels arent useful for me or an accurate reflection of my journey. Ultimately, its up to you to decide what feels right and go from there.

Addiction is real. This book is not for people who are addicted, non-functioning, or need medical attention.

My brain had to be missing an off-switch. I dont remember when I decided this was the reason I took things too far when I drank, but it was the only plausible explanation I could come up with. Once I finished that first drink, I almost always wanted another. The signal inside of me that was supposed to tell me to quit while I was ahead didnt work properly.

Can you relate? If a little is good, more must be better. At least thats how it seems your brain is wired. Maybe youve even noticed that the desire to overdo things isnt unique to alcohol (for me, smoking really fast and eating too much, too quickly were right up there with guzzling a beer). Why is that? Why cant you be more like your best friend who knows when to call it a night? Why dont you drink like everyone else? You know you could stop drinking entirelyyou dont need to drinkbut why would you want to?