Min Liu - People Games: The Most Common Mind Games and Power Plays That People Play

PEOPLE GAMES:

The Ten Most Common Power Plays and Mind Games That People Play

by Min Liu

http://www.artofverbalwar.com

2016 Art of Verbal War. All Rights Reserved.

It would be a very good thing if every trick could receive some short and obviously appropriate name so that when a man uses this or that particular trick, he could at once be reproved for it.

-Arthur Schopenhauer

Welcome to People Games! You made an excellent and potentially life-changing decision to read this book.

A little bit about me: Im the author of Verbal Self Defense 101, an introductory book on verbal self defense, the online course Verbal Self-Defense for the Socially Intelligent, a course about defending yourself from verbal bullying, attacks, and insults with wit and social intelligence, and the online course Verbal Domination, a course about dominating and winning verbal confrontations.

After I wrote Verbal Self Defense 101 and developed my online courses, I realized that a resource on mind games and power plays was INTEGRAL to verbal self defense. Verbal bullying, attacks, and insults often stem from power plays and mind games played between people in the background, whether they are played consciously or subconsciously, and whether or not the victim is aware of them or not.

Not having working knowledge of power plays and mind games is in a way, like going through life as a blind person. From the quote above, you can see that even the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer recognized this problem in his writings.

Well, in this book, it may be a little too late for Schopenhauer himself, but we are going to tip our cap to him and start giving names to these power plays and mind games, so that we can start lifting the veil that covers our eyes.

You probably found this book because at some point in your life, maybe even recently, you were victimized by mind games or power plays played by people, and you no longer want to be power blind. Trust me, Ive been on both sides of power plays and mind games as a victim and as a user, and on both sides of victory and defeat many times, and I am honored to be your guide as you learn how to master this area in your life.

While this book is not a comprehensive course in transactional analysis or pop psychology, I promise you that in the short time it will take you to read this book (probably no more than thirty minutes to one hour), you will be able to skillfully defend yourself from the most common power plays and mind games that people play.

Lets get started!

Cheers,

Min

DOWNLOAD your special bonus for purchasing this book at www.artofverbalwar.com/peoplegamesbonus

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel and learn even more about mind games, power plays, verbal self defense, and verbal skills at www.youtube.com/artofverbalwar

CONTACT me at

My Backstory

Id like to start by sharing part of my backstory, the part that relates to why I felt compelled to write this book and share the hard lessons Ive learned in my life, sometimes with myself being on the wrong side of power plays and mind games.

After graduating from college, I went to law school, a breeding ground for mind game practitioners and power players. Aggressive law firm job interviews and certain ex-girlfriends aside, I have to confess that I had virtually no idea about the presence of mind games and power plays in my life until my swearing in ceremony as a lawyer, where I actually got my first real education in these matters.

I still remember that day vividly even though it happened over ten years ago.

I cannot remember her name anymore, but a state court judge was responsible for swearing us in that day. There were probably five hundred of us budding lawyers freshly minted by the California State Bar crammed into a tiny conference hall at the Marriott Hotel in Downtown Oakland, California.

At this point, only reciting our vows to be well-behaved attorneys in front of an official judge stood in the way of us becoming real lawyers!

There was a buzz in the room as everyone was probably commiserating about where they were going to enjoy a three martini lunch afterwards. Outside of the five hundred people in that room, the unsuspecting general public had no idea that another five hundred lawyers were about to be unleashed into the world!

I didnt know who the judge was, but she was assigned this duty for the day. Its probably nice for judges to get out of their chambers once in a while and get away from the drudgery of hearing motion after motion and dealing with shifty and crafty lawyers. Its probably nice for them to meet some people who were still too young and naive to be so shifty and crafty.

There were so many people in the room, I could barely see the judge as she made her way onto the stage. She got up on the stage and with a grave and serious demeanor said:

I know you are all very anxious to get sworn in today and are looking forward to celebrating your first day as official attorneys with your friends and family. This is an important and momentous occasion for all of you and I congratulate you!

But before I swear you in, you are going to have to listen to one final lecture. I want you to pay attention to this one thing I have to say. I am going to instill in you one important lesson that I hope you will carry with you through your esteemed legal careers. You know all about the law from your three years of law school and through studying for the California state bar exam, so this lesson is not about the law.

(At this moment Im thinking Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up Judge. A drink has my name on it!)

What I wanted to say today is, starting today for the rest of your careers, you need to be vigilant. You need to be vigilant against the games that people play, and the people that play those games. You need to learn how to play and defend against those games for the benefit of yourself and your clients. Always know that these games are being played against you, and dont be fooled for one second into thinking that they are not. You may not like this fact, but you cannot ignore it, and you would be wise to educate yourself about these games that people play.

And nowonto the main event!

I didnt completely fathom what she was talking about back then, but over the course of 10+ years in the legal profession and the corporate world, I have come to have a deep appreciation for her words, and I sometimes reminisce back to her speech whenever I have to deal with a power play or mind game in my work or personal life and I feel thankful for the very important life lesson she gave me that day.

A lot of us probably go through life not really understanding or accepting the fact that power plays and mind games happen, and they happen frequently. So, by the fact that you are here reading this, you are unlike most people.

Her words have stuck with me all these years (unlike most of the words uttered by my law professors over the three years I spent in law school). She was entirely right, of course. That day, she was probably pleased to be in the company of so many young, naive, and not yet jaded lawyers, but I am sure she knew that in time, these lawyers would become crafty and shifty themselves, and become the very thing she was tired of seeing every single day in her courtroom. I am sure she knew the reality is that there is NO RESPITE from the games that people play, and so out of necessity, we all had to learn how to recognize and play those games ourselves.

The problem for me back then was that there was no resource for me to learn about the games she referred to, and so the only way for a budding lawyer to learn about these mind games and power plays was through experience, observation, and time. Im no longer a young lawyer anymore, so I have accumulated all three of those things at this point in my life. So, my sincere hope is that while you may not be a lawyer, this book will be the resource for you that I never had.