Billy Joe Daugherty - Building Quality Relationships

CONTENTS

Chapter One

Differing Levels of Relationships

The level of your relationships with friends, associates and Christians will vary. Jesus had twelve disciples, but when He pulled apart from the crowds to pray, He took only three with HimPeter, James and John. Repeatedly, Jesus called these three to Him. His level of relationship with them appeared to be more intimate than with the other disciples.

Jesus had a quality relationship with Lazarus, Mary and Martha. When Lazarus became ill, Mary and Martha sent for Jesus, but He didn't come in the time frame they expected Him to come. At some point in time, everyone faces disappointments in relationships. Mary and Martha were disappointed because Lazarus died, yet they knew Jesus could have healed him. When Jesus did arrive, He raised Lazarus from the dead.

We are talking about all kinds of relationships: between a father, mother, husband and wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, a relative, guardian, or business associate.

Many people have difficulty relating to others. You can take the principle of faith and believe for quality relationships, whether it is on a business level, a friendship level, a spiritual level, or in the marriage, home and family.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Chapter Two

Establishing Right Relationships

You must go to the right places to establish right relationships. It amazes me that people will go to a bar looking for a husband or a wife. Then, when the marriage doesn't work out, they wonder why.

When people have major problems in their life that have not been solved and you hook up with them, you simply multiply your problems.

Some people get into relationships out of the wrong motivation. For those considering marriage, you should become related with someone of the opposite sex in a friendship relationship first on the basis of your mutual pursuit of Jesus Christ rather than on the basis of a romantic relationship or a physical attraction.

As a friend, you are called to do whatever you can to lift a person to be closer to Jesus than ever before.

Are the people you associate with bringing you closer to Jesus Christ?

Do they make you want to love Him more and live for Him more fervently?

Do they make you want to read the Bible and pray?

Your relationships should be with people who are seeking God first in their own lives. That doesn't mean you will no longer relate to people who aren't saved. Jesus was a friend of sinners. He mingled with those who weren't serving God. He ate a meal with Zacchaeus while he was still a sinner. He spent time with people who weren't right, but He was always there for a two-fold purpose: 1) To lift their lives; and 2) To call them into relationship with God.

Testing a Person's Motives

It doesn't hurt to evaluate the motives of those with whom you are closely associating.

Here are six simple tests to help you determine another person's motives:

1. Do they verbally confess Jesus as Lord?

Paul said, "No one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 12:3).

First John 4:2 ,3 says:

By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God,

And every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.

2. Test their spirit.

First John 4:1 says, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world." If you are born again, the Spirit of God within you will bear witness with the Spirit of God in another person.

3. Check the fruit that is coming from the person's life.

Jesus said, "By their fruits you will know them (Matthew 7:20). In Galatians 5:22,23, Paul identified the fruit we should be bearing in our daily lives as love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

4. Is a genuine, Holy Ghost love for other people being manifested in this person's life?

Jesus said, "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

5. Check the person's doctrine. Does it line up with Gods Word?

Second John verse 9 says, "Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son."

First John 2:22 ,23 says:

Who is a liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist who denies the Father and the Son.

Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father either; he who acknowledges the Son has the Father also. If a person doesnt believe Jesus is the Messiah, the Bible says their doctrine is off. If you reject the Son, you reject the Father. God is Father only to those who have made Jesus Lord of their lives.

6. Check the person's actions.

First John 5:3 says, "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments."

Is the person obedient to the Word?

By evaluating the motives and fruit in people you closely associate with, you will know how to relate to each one more effectively.

Chapter Three

To Have Friends, Be Friendly

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

The friend who sticks closer than a brother is Jesus Christ. If you are going to have friends and have quality relationships, you must be the kind of friend others would like to have as a friend.

Emptiness and frustration often occur in people's lives because they are seeking from another person that which only God can be in their lives. God wants to be your all in all. He wants to satisfy your life. When you find your fulfillment in Him, He will make you into the type of person others will want as a friend.

When people first come into the Kingdom of God, they sometimes have difficulty relating to Christians who have different goals. To learn to relate to one another, each person must be friendly. If you are open and friendly with other people, they will be open and friendly back to you.

There is a story of two different people going into the same town. Someone asked one of these people, "What kind of people are in that town?" He said, They are all bad people. No one is happy. They are disappointed and discouraged." The other person was asked, "What kind of people did you meet in this town?" He responded, "They are nice people, friendly and kind."

It was the same town, so what was the difference? One person went in with an unfriendly attitude of discouragement. The other person went in with an attitude of friendliness and kindness. What's on your face and in your heart will often bounce back at you from someone else!

You can have an unlimited number of friends if you will be friendly. Wherever you meet people, even if it is an instantaneous relationship formed through circumstances rather than an ongoing thing, it can be quality. You can still impart something wonderful into their lives and receive from them as well.

I have great joy in my relationship with my children. We enjoy genuine conversation and fellowship on a continual basis. Be encouraged to know you can have quality relationships with people of all ages.

Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." Have you ever heard the term "fair weather friends"? When things are going great and you are riding high, they are there, but when the tough times come, sometimes these people cannot be found.