Billy Joe Daugherty - Building stronger marriages and families : making your house a home

Contents

Introduction

Successful Christian marriages are made up of successful Christian individuals who get together. When you put two people together who are walking in harmony with God, they'll walk in harmony with each other. If you are living in harmony with God, you can live in harmony with those in your family, whether it's your husband or wife, your children, or your parents.

However, just being a Christian doesn't guarantee good marriage and family relationships. In Hosea 4:6 the Lord says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...."

Sharon and I have a good marriage. It's getting better every year. We have four children who love God. We're under construction, and God's not finished with us yet! We've stayed together. We still love each other. So while we haven't been married as long as others, we believe we do have some things to impart to strengthen your marriage and family relationships.

We're fighting one of the greatest battles in America in this hour, and that is the battle for the marriage and the home. The little things that we're talking about may seem insignificant to you, but Satan has taken them, as small as they are, and has driven a wedge between marriage partners and their children. If we'll root them out and make an effort to do the things that God has spoken for us to do in His Word, we'll see marriages last. We're praying for marriages and homes to be strong.

Perhaps you've been married before and you've remarried. We're not condemning you for past mistakes. We want the marriage you're in to last and be strong. If you've gone through a broken marriage, perhaps you'll be remarried. We want that marriage to last. It's possible that you'll be restored to your original mate. We've had the wonderful privilege of remarrying a number of people in our congregation.

In this book, you'll find several scriptural principles that will give you a basis for better marriage and family relationships.

Although the enemy is interested in destroying marriages and families because this is the basis of what makes up the Church, he cannot do so if you'll chart the course of your marriage and family relationships on the Word of God. Today is the best day to begin!

Billy Joe Daugherty

MarriageGods First Institution

Marriage was the first institution created by God. Whenever you start talking about the marriage, home, and family, God gets involved.

God said of the marriage institution, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen. 2:24).

The joining together of the husband and wife is the smallest cell of the Church: two people who love God coming together as one.

Not everyone is called to marriage, however. I believe God has called some people to a life of singleness. God has called me to be married, and in the marriage, He hasn't taken away from my effectiveness in ministry, but by giving me a mate who's turned on to God, He has multiplied my effectiveness in ministry.

There can be a blessing either way. Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't be effective in the work of the ministry.

Prime Rib: A "Help Meet'

In Genesis 1, God created man and the animals, but there was no suitable companion or "help meet" for Adam. There was no one with whom he could fellowship.

In Genesis 2:18, God said, ... "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." The King James Version says, ... I will make him an help meet for him. The word meet means "suited, qualified, adapted, complementary, or compatible." In other words the Lord said, "Let's make a helper suitable for Adam (or for man)."

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.

So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.

Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

Genesis 2:19-23

God took a rib out of Adam, and He made Prime Rib! You may be questioning, "How did God make woman out of a rib?" I don't know. He just did. There's a lot of things I don't know, like, "Why does a kangaroo have a pouch? Or why does a giraffe have a long neck?"

God can do anything He wants to do. Jesus caused maimed limbs to be restored, so certainly God could take a rib or a side of man and fashion a woman out of it. If He could take the dust from the earth and make a man, then He could make a woman from a rib!

God made the woman to be with the man as a companion. Adam was lonely. He had everything in the world he could possibly need, but there was a loneliness (an emptiness) on the inside of him that wasn't satisfied. Eve filled this need. She completed Adam, just as God has created wives today to complete their husbands.

Leaving and Cleaving

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and

be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

One of the most important things about really loving your mate in a covenant relationship is leaving your family. Some people never get around to leaving. The apron strings are still tied, and Mama is still helping her little child make decisions. When you leave home to get married, it's time to cut the apron strings.

This goes for women as well as men: leave Mama's influence and control over your life when you join yourself to your mate. The Bible says there's a leaving and then there's a cleaving. This means, as husband and wife, you're drawn together apart from the relationship from whence you've come!

There's a sign in the window of a jewelry shop in Los Angeles that typifies the attitude of society in some circles today. It's contrary to what I'm sharing with you. The sign says, "Wedding rings for rent." This is not for people who intend to cleave to their mates. They simply view marriage like this: "If it doesn't work out, then I'll just say good-bye and that'll be it."

A husband and wife are to cleave to each other. If you'll cleave, it won't be as easy to leave!

... and they shall become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). In marriage, God has called two to become one, to be united in attitude, mind, vision, and direction. This is why singles need to come to a unity of mind and heart before they marry. Many people simply come to a unity in an attitude of the physical relationship, but they never come to a unity in their mind, vision, direction, intention, and purpose in life.

Many people marry and later discover that the person they married has a different plan for life. They say, "I didn't know that's what he (or she) wanted to do." Yet, I'm wondering, "How did they ever get married without coming to that place of unity?" It takes time to understand what another person plans to do with his or her life. It usually doesn't come in three weeks or even in three months.

When a pilot makes plans to land on the runway of an airport, he aligns himself with the runway a long time before he touches down. He checks on a perfect directional that will touch the plane down on a strategic spot where he can stop the aircraft so it won't go off the end of the runway.

How much more important it is in our lives that we align ourselves and get on target before we touch down in a marriage relationship that we align ourselves in unity one with another.