Billy Joe Daugherty - Dont Be Offended

CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Scriptural Guidelines for Handling Offenses

In Matthew 18:7, Jesus gave a promise that most people do not like to hear. In fact, most people don't keep this promise posted on the refrigerator for a daily reminder! The promise is , offenses must come.

An offense is something that irritates, hurts, wounds, or causes damage on the inside of a person if it is not released.

About the time you want to hold an offense against someone, you will be reminded of how you have offended others at some point in your life.

Jesus gave us His directions in Matthew 18 on "how" to handle offenses.

...If your brother sins against you [this would include your sister, too], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that "by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established."

Verses 15 ,16

Jesus is talking about offenses in relationships. He was saying, "If there is an offense, go to the person who brought the offense and explain your understanding of it." Sometimes when you go to people and you share what appears to be an offense, you find out there was no intent to be offensive. This is why it is so important to go to the person who brought the offense.

When some people get offended and they allow the offense to fester, instead of going to the offender alone, they want to announce it to get a lot of other people offended. They build a team we could call "the offended"!

Most people harbor their offenses. They nurse and rehearse them! But Jesus said we are to go directly to the person who caused the offense. Then, if the person doesn't hear you, take one or two more with you that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word will be established.

Jesus didn't say, "Take one or two of the biggest, meanest guys you can find to get the matter straightened out." He was saying, "Take one or two people who will be objective and who will help establish the truth, mediate and reconcile the offense."

If the offender refuses to listen, Jesus gave another guideline for resolving the offense in verse 17:

And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

If we literally did this in Sunday morning church services with a "telling" time for dealing with offenses, we might not have a worship service! I believe Jesus meant to take it to the leadership of the church. If it involves the youth group, it would be referred to the youth leaders. If it involves the singles ministry, it would go to the singles leadership. The pastor or other leaders would then determine how it should be resolved, sitting down with the people involved and talking it out.

If it continues to be a major problem that would affect or infect the entire Body, then it should be addressed to the whole congregation. In most situations, it would be resolved before it reaches this point.

How are we to treat heathens and tax collectors? We are to love them, forgive them and pray for them. If a believer acts like a heathen and refuses to be reconciled, it is because there is something wrong in his or her life. Get their strife out of your life and treat them with compassion, releasing prayer, love and blessing into their lives.

If you hold on to the offense, bitterness will corrupt your own spirit. It will defile your thinking, and it can even affect your health. Mental and physical disease comes when people allow the strife of offense to fester in their hearts and imaginations to grow bigger in their minds.

Some people harbor resentment until it becomes a monster, controlling their lives. People have been imprisoned and are on death row today because they allowed offenses to grow into hatred that was then translated into murder.

Offense must be cut off and removed.

Chapter 2

The Forgiveness Issue

In Matthew 18, while Jesus talked about the power of agreement, Peter was still pondering the forgiveness issue.

Then Peter came to Him [Jesus] and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

Verses 21 ,22

Although that would mean to offer forgiveness 490 times, this verse means, "Forgive as often as it is needed. Continually, if necessary. Be a forgiver. Don't allow yourself to be offended." Then Jesus explained forgiveness in a parable.

Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.

[The margin of The New King James Bible shows this to be $3,840,000,000.]

But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.

The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, "Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all."

Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, "Pay me what you owe!" [This was only a few dollars in comparison to the huge amount he had been forgiven.]

So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you all."

And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.

So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.

Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.

"Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?"

And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers [the King James Version says "tormentors"] until he should pay all that was due to him.

So My heavenly Father also will do to you If each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.

Verses 23-35

The "torturers" and the "tormentors" include mental insanity, psychological problems, depression, emotional instability, confusion and harassment.

Many times people get in the prayer line, asking for prayer, and there is no relief, because they have opened the door to the tormentors. To be free from the torturers and tormentors, you must be a forgiver. By your own choice, you can determine to be:

A believer and not a doubter, A forgiver and not a pouter!

You will have many opportunities to hold offenses, and you will have many opportunities to forgive! Because there is an outlaw loose in the earth (Satan), the human race isn't totally redeemed yet and even people who know the Lord and love Him aren't fully perfected, there will be offenses.

Chapter 3

Offense Against Jesus

Satan uses offense as a weapon against believers to steal, kill and destroy, because when nothing else can get to you, an offense usually will unless you are alert to Satan's devices.

When Jesus went to His hometown to preach (as the Living Word), He brought offense to those steeped in tradition and religiosity. If people could get offended over Jesus, they will certainly get offended over you and me! Jesus was perfect, yet they were offended at Him.

Let's look at this account in Mark 6:1-6:

Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him.