Dudley Delffs - Balm in Gilead: Healing for the Repentent Heart

Balm in Gilead

A S HAW B OOK

P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NKJV ) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( MSG ) are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked ( NASB ) are taken from the New American Standard Bible. ( NASB ). Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

eISBN: 978-0-307-55313-3

Copyright 2002 by Dudley J. Delffs

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v3.1

My heart is sore.

In my dream I toss it across an asphalt pavement, watching it skip like a stone. Just as I reach the spot where it lands, my heart lurches forward with the wind, beyond my grasp, battered against the boulders up ahead. This painful game of tag continues until I corner myself in a nest of fallen branches.

When I retrieve it, cradling it in my hands, my heart is pockmarked and scarred from bouncing along the hard surfaces. Raw and tender, it needs rest and healing, time to recover from the numerous scrapes along the trail. Somehow I cant place it back inside of me where it belongs until Ive tended to its wounds. My heart is sore, and Im out of breath from chasing it.

It doesnt take a Joseph to help me interpret my dream. For the past three years, I have been teaching full time, attending graduate school, and trying to complete a novel. I miss being fully present for my wife and three children in the ways that I long to be. My parents struggles with illness and injury leave me hurting and afraid for them. Financial pressures often make each month a faith challenge. But throughout this frenetic season, I have become much more aware of the vital importance of stilling myself before my Father, of attending to the true needs of my battle-weary heart.

Im guessing your heart is just as sore and weary as my own, if not more. Perhaps it took a vivid dream like mine, or the weight of another task or responsibility, or simply a quiet moment amid the daily rush to signal that your heart is hurting, to lead you to a breathless realization of who youve become or Who youve lost sight of.

And maybe, like me, youve tried to make time for yourself, tried to rest, tried to pray more, tried to force yourself to connect with God. We both know that the relief we crave is found only in relationship with him, the Triune God: Abba Father, the Savior Son, and the Spirit of Life. Weve attempted to set aside a quiet time for reading his Word, for reflecting and praying, for listening. But the clamor of our lifes pressures and the ravenous appetite of our schedules intrude and distract us. We lose our way again until were swallowed by the wild current of events and emotions sweeping us away. Then our attempts become compounded by guilt and weariness until the next tide comes in.

How do we break this whirlpool cycle? How do we focus our efforts toward a rekindled passion for our Lord, not just another daily accomplishment or failure? The solution to our desire for rest and renewal is simple and life threatening: repentance. It means turning away from ourselves and moving toward God. This process in our Christian journey is probably not newthats the simple part. But it is ongoing and deliberate, and thats the part that threatens the way we want to live our lives. Repentance is far more than reciting our sins before God. It is a deep transforming work of Gods Spirit. It is the pathway to inward healing. Yet how many of us deliberately take time out for repentant self-reflection?

When guilt, anxiety, or old wounds cause us to drift away from Godto chase after our own wind-blown hearts in a wearying pursuit for wholenessrepentance can realign our spiritual compass. It gives us an opportunity to step back from roles and responsibilities in order to reflect on how closely attuned we are to Gods presence and work in our lives. Spiritual retreats often facilitate this spring cleaning of the soul, but most of us are rarely able to drop everything and get away.

Such a desire for cleansing refreshment is nothing new. In the ancient world, Gilead, a fertile region just west of the Jordan River, attracted thousands of visitors to its thick balsam groves. The oil distilled from the sap of the balsams soothed aching muscles, healed open wounds, and reinvigorated tired bodies. The oils fragrance, so redolent of evergreen and river breezes, was heralded as an aphrodisiac. Its no coincidence, then, that the prophet Jeremiah chose this amazing balm as a metaphor for Israels needs: Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people? (Jeremiah 8:22).

The Israelites would have recognized the irony in the prophets questions: If any place afforded healing, it was the resortlike hills of Gilead, complete with balsam oils, herbal remedies, and assorted doctors. Yet the Jewish people were hurting and struggling because they had turned away from the inward balm of repentance and rest that God offered them.

We find ourselves in the same dilemma today, suffering from wounds God wants to heal. He invites us to turn our hearts back toward him, to draw close to our Abbas heart. As we personally awaken to Jeremiahs question, the lyrics of an old African American spiritual affirm Gods offer: There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole; / There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin-sick soul.

Balm in Gilead has been written to lead you into a deeper experience of Gods life-changing love through a cleansing interlude of repentance. In eight sessions, you will be guided through exercises in Bible study, prayer, and self-reflection designed to help you direct your attention to what God is doing in your life. Following these sessions youll find a Commencement section that invites you to go on a spiritual retreat. You might want to take this retreat before you read the book as well as after you finish it.

As you respond to Gods invitation to draw closer to him, you may want to use this devotional guide with a prayer partner or a small group. Or you may simply prefer to spend time alone basking in the presence of the One who loves you most. Wherever you are in your spiritual journey and whatever personal circumstances you face, you can receive more of Gods grace. Not by trying harder, but by setting down the burdens you are carrying and experiencing renewal through the gifts of self-reflection, confession, grace, forgiveness, gratitude, obedience, suffering, and community.