Part One
Beginnings

CHAPTER 1
Who Are We?

I rv and Gloria lived the American dream for more than half a century. Depression-era children, they lifted themselves up from humble beginnings to become the toast of Atlantic City. They met when they were barely teens and spent their high school years going steady. Irv was admitted to Duke University, but then he signed up to serve his country as a naval pilot in World War II. When he went off to training camp, Gloria went with him. They were married just after the war and gave birth to two baby boomers who went on to become successful lawyers. Irv built the house he and Gloria lived in with his own hands. Later, he worked in real estate, and Gloria worked in his office with him. They had a knack for the business, and it didnt hurt that they had been savvy enough to purchase a few parking lots that the emerging casino industry would later want to snatch up. Irv and Gloria were inseparable. They lived, worked, and vacationed together.

At the age of sixty-seven, Irv learned that he had advanced prostate cancer, and he died soon after. Irvs death was a devastating blow to Gloria. People deal with tremendous adversity all the time and find ways to move on, but Gloria never did. She spent the rest of her days fixated on the loss of her partner, while her mind and memory slowly deteriorated. Over time, she became a different person. Before, she had always been charming and witty, if somewhat of a worrier. After Irvs passing, she became self-centered, inattentive, and even mean-spirited at times.

Glorias friends wondered what had happened to her as they abandoned her one by one. Family struggled to put up with her moods and behavior. Most of the explanations offered for the changes she had undergone focused on neurobiology. Maybe she had some form of Alzheimers disease or dementia? But nothing really supported such a diagnosis other than her growing memory loss. Some asked whether the medication she was taking to deal with her acute grief had left her with long-term neurological damage. Gloria, however, did not ponder such questions. She knew what was wrongshe would rather have died than live another day without Irv. I know this because she told me every chance she got. She was my grandmother. In her mind, she was dying of a broken heart. Years later, when I asked my father what had led her to change so radically, he said, She died the moment he died. She didnt have a happy moment after.