Ardis - Inside A Thugs Heart

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

T o Afeni Shakur, thank you for allowing this book to see the light of day. Your blessings and support during this process will have me forever grateful to you. I hope you feel Ive done well by Tupac.

To my mother, thank you does not begin to convey the gratitude I hold for you. But since I cant think of a stronger word, thank you will have to do. Thank you for always being by my side. You are the rock that has never faltered, the wind beneath my wings and the air that I breathe. Youre the reason Im here, the reason Ive sustained and the reason I remain. Your words and everlasting presence has made me the woman that I am today. Thank you!

To my agent, Alex Smithline, thank you for your patience and endurance.

To my attorney, David Byrnes, you have been so incredible and supportive through this entire process. Thank you. We have so many more projects to go. I hope youre ready!

To my editor, Karen Thomas, thank you for having the vision and insight to see this book as the blessing it was truly meant to be. Considering were both Geminis, its a wonder we were ever able to have a solid conversation. However, with the one hundred people we represented on the phone, I think we did pretty damn good! I believe well have a relationship that will last for many years to come.

To Karolyn Ali, thank you for having such patience while reading this book. I feel like we grew closer every day and you, too, were able to see and feel the connection that was made on these pages. I know we will be friends for many years to come. Thank you!

To my business partner, Cedric Pendleton, thank you! For all the arguments, disagreements, frustrations, and conversations... here it is! Fruition! Your strength, persistence and know-how got us from conversation to reality. Thank you for always lending me an ear and your undivided attention when I needed someone to talk to, to vent to, or to cry to. You never turned me away and I have mad, crazy, stupid love for the man that you are and the lifelong friend that you will be. Now lets get crackin on the next project!

To my business partner, Mike Waller, thank you for having the courage to step up that day at Interscope. God puts people in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Your presence in my life has its definite reasons, and I know you will remain there for the rest of my life. Your ideas never cease to amaze me, and your patience in explaining everything to me so that I, too, can have the knowledge is one of many of the greatest gifts you could ever have bestowed upon me. Knowledge is power! We have so much more work to do. Dont forget the champagne in the penthouse! See you there!

To my sister, Renee, thank you for always being my cheerleader for anything I ever decided to do. Youve always believed in my abilities even when I didnt. Your constant optimism created strengths in me that helped me overcome so many obstacles in my life. If You Believe is my anthem thanks to you. Every time my inner child gets scared, I call you and you have a way of injecting that child with such confidence, that we now believe we can do almost anything. Thank you for being a wonderful sister and my best friend.

To my brother, Eddie (Henry, as most know him), my ace, the number one man in my life. Even though you are my brother, you have been like a father to me as well. I measure every man that comes into my life against you, and considering Im single, this means none of the knuckleheads have measured up. Thank you so much for always giving me business advice and advice about love from a mature mans perspective. Thank you for having my back, no matter what, and for being such a strong black man that I can look at you and know that strong black men with no bullshit really do exist. I maintain hope in finding that because of you. Thank you!

To my niece and nephew, Crystal and E.J., I love you two so much. I know Ive been pretty preoccupied with my life for the past few years, but now Im in a place where I can be the auntie that I used to be.

To my good friend Derrick: man, I dont know how to thank you for everything youve ever done for me over the last fourteen years. You have been such a godsend that words cannot begin to express my level of thankfulness for you. You are the realest as a person, a confidant, and a friend. You are the epitome of what friendship represents, and I am truly blessed that we met and maintained. Thank you!

To one of my closest friends, Tanya, thank you. Even though I didnt like you when I first met you, you have been such an incredible blessing in my life. We have been through some of the most traumatic experiences of our lives together and have shared so many good times, too. Over the last ten years, we have leaned on each other, encouraged each other, motivated and inspired one another. I will always be here for you no matter what, where, when, or what time. You are my dog fo life! Luv you, girl!

To my closest, boogie, undercover goofy friend, Cheryl, thank you. You, too, have been a major blessing in my life for the last twelve years. We have been through it! No more needs to be said! Thank you for always projecting positiveness when it came to anything I was trying to do. Im here whenever you need me! Luv you, girl! Stay strong.

To my newest and coolest buddy, Iris, thank you. Girl, all I can say is that we got through it and D.D.P. is still in effect but we are looking at it from the outside. A toast to us and that mess! Didnt think wed make it out. Thank you for always waking up in the middle of the night to hear me vent. I needed it and I appreciated it even more. I couldnt have gotten through so many things without your unconditional support. It always feels like Im telling you something for the first time even when Ive told you thirty times. I hope I have been and will be as good a friend to you as you have been to me for the last four years. The pipes are officially down, dog! Luv you, girl!

To my friends, Kirven, thank you for letting me chill when I needed to and always playing the music I wanted to hear at the clubs you deejay at. Tell yo boys Ill come and cook yall some more smothered chicken and peach cobbler soon! Charlie, my Puerto Rican chica, you are such a great friend to me and I know we will grow old together, talking shit about you know what. Everything is going to work out, girl, and if you ever need anything, you call me! We have business to handle! Alicia, girl, here it is! Can you believe it? Three and a half years later and here is the book on the shelf. You are such a blessing to me. Thank you for being there to crack that whip! I know well be friends for life. Dukeum, Ive known you for twenty-one years. You know you are my forever friend. I love you, man. Donnae, even though we only talk once every few years or so, you still are on the top of my list of real friends. When we talk it always feels like we just talked yesterday. I miss you, girl. Dutch, thank you for letting me chill when I needed to. I needed it a lot more than you knew. The Thai food and my magnificently made margaritas made it all good, too! Look forward to doing business with you in 2004. Terrell, nobody would know you are an attorney cause you so goofy. You have been a blessing and I know we will be friends for life. Syke, I couldnt believe you were standing in Interscope that afternoon and had just been talking about me a month earlier. Im glad we ran back into one another and I look forward to doing business with you. Trent, thank you for embracing me on G.P. I know well be friends and doing business together for many years to come. Dust off your tennis rackets! Darice, we have so much work to do, girl! Im glad we connected and I know that well be friends for a long time. Donte, thank you for your constant optimism and encouragement. Much luv to you. Teresa, my knowledge guru and spiritual advisor, thank you for never judging me and loving me no matter what. I love you sooooooo much! Jetta, my second mama and close friend. I love you and appreciate everything youve ever done for me. We need to get together again soon and exhale! Sully, you know you have been a rock in my life for many many years and I love and appreciate you to the infinite degree. You da man! Poche, see, Im the only girl in your life that is just your friend. I told you! We must do In & Out Burgers when I get back to L.A. Steve, you have always had my back since I met you. You just kind of took me under your wing and looked out for me like a sister. I love and appreciate you more than you know. Kofie, my exhale buddy. Thank you for the numerous times you let me chill out at our spot to get away. I always enjoy our conversations and the energy that you possess. We will be friends for life. Cant stop whats supposed to be! Darrell, dog, you have had my back since 1989 and if there is ever anything I can do for you, you just holla! Its all a journey. Vincent, you are a godsend if Id ever seen one. Thank you does not begin to say enough but I think you know what Im saying. You are a blessing. Sydney, thank you for whipping this body into shape. Couldnt have done it without your kickboxing and boot camp classes. Travis, my new-found friend, you have brought another level to my life and by the time this book comes out, Ill be interested to see what has taken place! Your energy is magnetic and I love spending time with you. Im always relaxed when Im with you. Thank you for your constant optimism when it came to this project or anything I was trying to do. Hope you have a great season! Much love, baby.