Contents
Guide
Weve all done it, guys.
No judgment here .
Its late. Youre tired. You know its wrong, but you still find yourself looking through your exs Instagram posts. Who liked it? Who commented on it? Is he with a girl?!
The anxiety never ends. Ive made the mistake countless times. Stalking your ex is NEVER a good idea.
Here Are Reasons Why NOT TO STALK YOUR S.O.s EX.
| I believe it was Teddy Roosevelt who said, Comparison is the thief of joy. (Teddy clearly knew heartbreak, imo!) I know we all tend to worry/wonder about the obvious questions: Is she prettier than me? Is she skinnier/curvier than me? Does she have bigger boobs than me? Was she better in ~sexy situations~ than me? Tbh, guys dont really think about that. They honestly dont compare. It just doesnt happen; it just doesnt work that way. Trust me. |
| THEY BROKE UP FOR A REASON. Okay, this is one thats a little more complicated than it wasnt meant to be, and I get that. Sometimes maybe hell tell you, I broke up with her, but then youve heard stories that she broke up with him. Or maybe theyve had one of those ~annoying~ on-and-off things where they kept breaking up and getting back together over and over again, and your fear is that it all might happen again. So let me save you a little bit of heartache on thisif you think theres a possibility theyre gonna get right back together: STOP NOW. At the end of the day, you never know for sure whats gonna happen, but if you have a suspicion this is just another one of their off periods, tell him to call you when he knows what he wants. Or maybe he was just with his ex for a long time, and it makes you feel kinda small in his life. Thats normal, too. They have all these memories and stories together that you dont have yet. But ultimately, youre going to make your own memories and stories with them. Every relationship has its ups and downs, BUT they arent together anymore. And sometimes, no matter how hard it may be, we just have to accept that and trust the person we are with is with US for a reason. |
| Stalking your baes ex on social media wont make her relationship with your S.O. disappear. They dated. IT HAPPENED. You have exes, too. Think about it this way, when youre with your current ~lover~ do you always think about your ex? NO! You dont. Instead you worry about THEIR exes. Dont you think maybe your S.O. feels the same? And if you ARE thinking about your ex, you might have a bigger problem, like, why are you with this new bae at all? |
| And finally: Youre worth more than that. You are worthy of being with and being loved and adored. Stressing about your S.O.s past relationship is crazy. Its in the past. You cant change it. You cant make it go away. History is history. Your only choice is to move on with your life. Realize the person you are with now is with you because they WANT to be WITH YOU. Stressing about past things only adds worry and insecurity, which just isnt ever romantic. |
![And Now for Reasons to Not Stalk YOUR Ex Why did you guys break up - photo 2](/uploads/posts/book/108469/images/hr.jpg)
And Now for Reasons to Not Stalk YOUR Ex:
| Why did you guys break up? Repeat your breakup convo in your head when you feel like checking his/her news feed. If you were the one to end things, you made the right decision. It may take a while to be okay with it, but you had a reason to do something that couldnt have been fun or easy. Remember that. And if THEY were the one to end things, they were dumb for leaving you. I know I dont know youbut its the truth. Its their loss. They just dont know it yet. And if neither works, if you still are feeling heart-heavy and super sad, then you probably need to talk to them, face-to-face, to get closure before you move on. |
| Its just one person! This is easier said than doneBELIEVE me, I know. I have been known to be bedridden over breakups. (It happens.) But at the end of the day, I remind myself that there are more than seven billion people in the world and its crAzy to let any ONE person dictate my life. Especially one Im not with anymore. |
| You cant control them. If they choose to be with someone else, then... that sucks. It will hurt. You will ugly cry and most likely send them a billion texts that are incoherent, and you will show up at your best friends apartment sobbing and begging for cuddles. (Not that this has happened to me or anything... ha!) But at the end of the day you cant control them. You have to accept there is a reason you arent with them anymore. It takes time, but youll come to peace with it. Trust me, you will. |
| You are worth more. You will move on and you will be okay. You might not feel it RIGHT now, but I promise you its true. Life isnt always fair, but love is. Even when you think its not. You will realize that there are people out there who will want to be with you and treat you right. And hopefully, one day, you can call your ex and have a nice conversation about your new partners. It CAN happen. It DOES happen. Hang on. Hold tight. I promise youll survive. |
But until then, if you really cant handle seeing their posts... Block them. Yes, it seems like an act of war, but your mental health and sanity come first. The only way to not check up on them is to not have the option to. I promise you it will feel SO liberating. They might be pissed, sure. But in time they will understand, and a possible friendship will be more likely if you both have the space and time to rehab your emotions.
At the end of the day, the best thing to do is go to a local park (I am #blessed to call my local park Central Park), turn your phone on Airplane mode (so U dont receive any texts or notifications), and listen to your favorite playlist. I do that before I send any angry texts or look at my exs profile. At the end of my walk, Ive usually calmed down and realized that its just not worth it.
Then again, sometimes...
Well, Im just curious who that girl is who liked his profile picture on September 8, and now Im on her cousins husbands best friends page...
Hes kinda cute.
UGH.
If you are single, alone, and hoping to find the match of your dreamsa fun, normal, sweet guy with similar interests, hobbies, and sense of humor... If you WANT to find an S.O. with potential to be a long-term mate...
You are reading
the wrong
chapter.
In fact, you are probably reading the wrong book and talking to the wrong girl.
In my nineteen yearsokay eighteen, but nineteen in like less than a monthof living, I have become an expert, a connoisseur if you will, of how NOT to flirt with people of the opposite gender.
Flirting is a skill, in my opinion. Some people are born naturally seductive and flirtatious. My mother is mystified by my lack of skills; she swears that at my age she had ALLLLLL the men. LIKE K, MOM, THANKS FOR MAKIN ME FEEL SINGLE AS A PRINGLE OVER HERE.
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I have friends who can win over guys without doing anything AT ALL. It used to bother me. Id go out in a group and always be the little sis or the baby of the group. Its so bad my nickname is actually baby (or sometimes baby spice when Im feeling a little![Picture 4](/uploads/posts/book/108469/images/dancinggirl.jpg)