Man Who Has It All - The Man Who Has It All: A Patronizing Parody of Self-Help Books for Women

Hilarious and eye-opening. Huffington Post

I simply love @manwhohasitall. Nothing points up the absurdity and inequality of debates about care and career as effectivly as simply putting the shoe on the other foot. Follow him on Twitter and read this book! Anne-Marie Slaughter, President and CEO, New America

Our favorite new Twitter accounthilariously calls out sexist double standards. MTV

Brilliant parody. Independent

Perfect satire. Upworthy

Making everyone giggle turns on its head all the often ridiculous advice thats lobbed at working women, that unique mix of chocolate-laced guilt, me time, overachievement, bubble bath tips and domestic goddess how-tos. New York Post

Playfully subversive and long overdue, this book takes those ubiquitous gender stereotypes and grinds them to dust. Very funny indeed. Rebecca Front

Really smart. Gaby Hinsliff, Guardian

The tweets capture the daft messages sent to women every day across the media and the real worldand theyve touched a nerve. Daily Mirror

A simple idea, beautifully executed, which pithily derides the blind eye that allows sexism to become endemic. Richard Herring

Terrific! Joanne Harris, author of Chocolat

From beauty routines and housework expectations to the way mothers are often treated in the workplace, the Man Who Has It All Twitter account shares expertly flipped one-liners. Stylist

On behalf of frazzled dads with a pH imbalanceand, of course, working moms who actually have to listen to this sh*t for realwe just want to say thank you. Metro

For feminism that makes you laugh. Despair, but also laugh. Glosswitch, New Statesman

Devilishly genius. Caroline Criado-Perez, OBE

Copyright Man Who Has It All 2016

First Skyhorse Publishing edition 2018

First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Bantam Press, an imprint of Transworld Publishers.

The Man Who Has It All has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

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Skyhorse and Skyhorse Publishing are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation.

Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Jenny Zemanek

Cover photo credit: iStockphoto

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-2909-4

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-2911-7

Printed in China

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am grateful to all my supporters on Twitter and Facebook (@ManWhoHasItAll) and to the busy dads who found the time to help me with research for this book. I am grateful to my agent and editor who have put up with my hormonal fluctuations and tendency to overreact. And, of course, I am grateful to my wife for letting me have a little project of my own.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

In the early hours of October 31, 2015, I tripped over the cats water bowl, stubbed my toe, and knocked a bag of powdered sugar onto my wifes open laptop. I wasnt looking where I was going due to exhaustion and lack of sleep. It was 1:40 a.m. My Halloween cupcakes were still in the oven, and from the floor above I could hear my six-year-old son shouting, Daddy! from his bedroom.

In the moments that followed I felt resentful, guilty, and sad. I resented my wife for being asleepseemingly oblivious to our nocturnal son and my frantic cake decorating. I felt guilty about my poor organizational skills. What kind of dad leaves his baking until the night before? I felt sad for my son, who didnt always have the happy, joyful daddy he deserved.

In the wake of this, I asked myself some tough questions. Was this really the life I wanted? Did I want to be a stressed-out, manic husband and dad? And, more important, what was I going to do with my wifes laptop? In desperation, I dabbed at the keyboard with a damp cloth, pushing the sugar between the keys and icing them together.

As I closed the lid of my wifes sticky laptop and switched off the lights, I heard the welcome sound of silence and realized my son must have gone back to sleep. Ill be honest with you, Id completely forgotten about him. The pain, the cakes, the laptop This was the wake-up call I needed. If I couldnt be there for my child in the night, what kind of dad was I?

As I hobbled back to bed, I caught sight of my face in the mirror. My hair was greasy, my complexion was dull, and my eyes were puffy. I just didnt look like me. Where had the old me gone? Was he still in there? It was at this moment that I realized I had a choice. I could carry on as I wasguilty, stressed, and exhausted. Or I could get a grip and radically change my life.

Looking back, I should have made the change sooner. But this book isnt about beating myself up. Its about celebrating what I have become and sharing it with you. I have finally found that elusive balance between work and family. I have three healthy kids, a beautiful home, a successful wife, and my own career. I even have time to decorate my cupcakes!

While I dont pretend to have all the answers, I nudge other men to rediscover their confidence and gain control over their lives. In these pages, I take them by the hand and gently draw them away from the pressure of perfection to become what we all want to bea man who has it all.

@ManWhoHasItAll, 2016

CHOOSING TO THRIVE

FATHERS IN THE WORKPLACE

Nearly half of all managers admit to thinking twice when it comes to hiring men who have children. But the experience of raising a child can actually make men well-suited to the workplace. Companies who do not hire fathers could be turning down an extremely valuable resource.

In this chapter, I bust the myths surrounding fathers in the workplace and call for a more flexible, open, and compassionate approach from managers.

Every man has different reasons for his choices, and I respect that. This chapter is about those men who, for whatever reason, choose to work.

Doubt

Leaving your kids to go out to work is tough. But, believe it or not, dads do survive. In fact, research shows that children of a career dad can do just as well as children of a stay-at-home dad. Working dads can absolutely be great parents; its all about achieving that elusive balance.

TALKING POINT

Being ignored, mistaken for the secretary, or branded a paternity riskare men overreacting when it comes to issues they face at work?