John D. Fitzgerald - The Great Brain Is Back

THINGS GOT SO DULL in Adenville, Utah, in 1899 that I didnt know what to do with myself. It was all Polly Reagan and Papas fault. Polly had put a spell on my older brother Tom. He carried her books to school and spent any spare time he had with her. He even squandered his money buying Polly ice cream sodas at the drugstore.

When Tom turned thirteen, Papa decided it was time for him to earn his keep. Papa was editor and publisher of the Adenville Weekly Advocate, the towns only newspaper, and he also did all the printing for people in town. He made Tom work with him after school and on Saturdays. About the only time I saw Tom was during meals and when we did our homework.

Ill tell you, life sure was dull for me. Tom had a money-loving heart and a great brain that he used to swindle me and all the other kids in town. Until he turned thirteen, hardly a week had passed without Tom pulling off one of his swindles. Although I was the victim many times, Toms conniving ways had made life interesting and exciting.

Of course, I still had our little brother, Frankie. Papa and Mamma had adopted him when his parents were killed in a landslide. But Frankie was only six years old. I was eleven and too old to play with him. Sometimes I missed Tom so much that I felt like bawling.

I was sitting on the back porch steps one Sunday afternoon, wondering if life would ever be exciting again, when Tom came out of the kitchen and sat down beside me.

Why arent you over at Pollys? I asked.

Shes at her grandmothers house, he said. Ill be by Reagans later, he added with a grin on his freckled face.

Tom was the only one in our family who had freckles. I took after Papa and had dark curly hair. My oldest brother, Sweyn, who was going to high school back east, was blond like our Danish mother. Tom was a mixture of Papa and Mamma. It was easy to tell Frankie wasnt a Fitzgerald because he had the straightest black hair of any kid in town.

Tom put his arm around my shoulders. Ive got a business proposition for you, J.D., he said. We usually called each other by the initials of our first and second names because that was how Papa addressed us. We all had the same middle name of Dennis because it was a tradition in our family.

Every time Tom had put his arm around my shoulders and started talking about a business proposition, Id lost money. But things had been so darn dull that I didnt have to think twice before answering.

Its a deal, I said.

But I havent even told you what the proposition is yet.

I dont care what it is, I said. Ill take it.

I know that sounds crazy but I really didnt care if I lost my shirt. I was so happy Tom was back in business that I didnt care. At least there would be a little excitement.

You will have to invest some money, Tom said, but Ill guarantee youll make a profit if you are any kind of a salesman.

Ill do it, I said. Whats the deal?

Well, J.D., as you know, Papa only pays me fifty cents a week.

The way Papa talks youd think he was paying you seven dollars and a half a week, I said.

Papa says room and board is worth a dollar a day, which is what Jimmie Petersons mother charges at her boarding-house, Tom said. That is why Papa claims he is actually paying me seven fifty a week.

Ill sure hate to turn thirteen, I said, and have Papa put me to work to earn my room and board.

He says all boys should start earning their keep when they are thirteen, Tom said. I cant argue about that. Practically every kid in town who is thirteen or older has some kind of a job or works for his parents. But it sure is tough on my pocketbook. I havent been able to save a dime since I started working for Papa.

If you hadnt bought Polly Reagan that ice cream soda last Saturday, youd have some money, I said, to let him know Id never forgive him for falling under the spell of a girl.

Forget about Polly, Tom said. Lets get down to business. I saw this advertisement and it looked like an easy way to make some money. You buy fifty bars of soap at a nickel a bar and you sell the soap for ten cents a bar. That gives you a profit of two dollars and fifty cents. But I dont have time to sell the soap, so Im willing to take a small profit and turn the whole deal over to you.