Robert Zubrin [Zubrin - The Holy Land: Fanatical Earthling planet assassins are spreading chaos through the galaxy. Is there any nice way to stop them?

The President stared at his Science Advisor in disbelief. So, whatyou are telling me is that Kennewick, Washington, has been taken over bya bunch of spacealiens.

Minervans, sir, Dr. Beasley said, peering through his bifocals.They call themselves Minervans.
And who are these Minervans, and what do they want?
They claim to be refugees from oppression in the Central GalacticEmpire. They say they need a place of their own, and since Kennewick istheir ancient homeland, they've come to reclaimit.
The President shook his head. That's got to be pure hokum. He turned to his CIA Director. Fred, what do we really know about theseguys?
Fred Collins was ready with his report. OK, heres what weve got.Theyre human, of generally Caucasian appearance, but of a somewhatpeculiar type, being all of slightly above average height, with mediumbuild, gray eyes, brown hair, and high cheekbones.
Beasley interrupted. DNA analysis from hair fragments shows sig-nificant resemblances to sequences found among Hungarians, Finns andBasques. Weve also identified some linguistic cognates to the same groups.
The President was appalled. A mixture of Finns, Hungarians, andBasques. How disgusting.
Collins nodded. Indeed. In any case, they landed about two monthsago, and immediately started to buy all the property they could inKennewick.
The President made a stop signal with his hand. Hold it, Fred. Imnot following you. Landed? How? Buy? With what?
Apparently, they were delivered by starships of the Western GalacticEmpire. They made their purchases with greenbacks.
Counterfeit?
No. Federal reserve notes. Legal tender.
Phil Brasher, the Attorney General, broke in. Legal, my foot. Theircash may be good, but those people did not go through immigration. They are illegal aliens, and their presence here is an intolerable, criminal, violation of Americansovereignty!
Obviously. Collins frowned, annoyed byBrashers emotional interruption. But to continue, as soon as they got some land, they knockeddown all the old houses and replaced them with 300-story high skyscrapers built out a kind of superstrong plexiglass. They then filled them withfish farms, orange groves, robot factories, and housing. We estimate thatthey have about a million people living inthere.
A stunned silence filled the room. Collins continued.
Their customs are odd, to say the least. They despise contemporaryAmerican music. Instead they like to sing in groups resembling coeducational barbershop quartets. They travel around on a sort of motorizedroller skates that can move them at close to 100 miles an hour over flat orrough terrain, and they like to fast-dance in their skates too. Their society is egalitarian, but with divided spheres. The men own the property andrun their businesses, the women control the government andreligion.
This sparked the Presidents curiosity. He was a very religious man.Are they Christians?
Hardly. They worship the goddess Minerva.
The President was horrified. Pagans! On our sacred land!
Collins nodded. Yes. And they get really nasty if anyone does anything to hurt an owl.
The President set his mouth in a grim line. Nasty, Ill show themwho is nasty. He turned to Jack The Ripper Ripley, his Secretary ofDefense. Jack, mobilize the armed forces. I want those pagans extermi-nated by Sunday.
Ripley smiled a wolfish grin. Yes sir. With pleasure.
Dr. Beasley seemed distraught. Maybe were moving too fast. Certainly the Minervans are weird, but they offer a lot of benefits. In justtwo months theyve restocked all the rivers in the Pacific Northwest withsalmon and restored all the destroyed oldgrowth forests. Theyve senttheir doctors to San Francisco and Seattle and cured hundreds of peopleof AIDS and cancer. Theyve deciphered Linear A. Their materials sci-ence is incredible and they are willing to share some of it with us. Theirtechnology could improve our industrial productivity and raise livingstandards. Their knowledge of physics, chemistry, and biology is phenomenal. We could learn so much from them.
The President was decisive. No. The only thing Americans need toknow is how to be Americans, and they are not going to get that from abunch of pagan foreigners from outer space. Were going to wipe themout.
General Smith, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, raised hishand. Sir, what do we know about their military capabilities? If theyhave starships, an assault could be unwise.
Collins cut in. You neednt worry about that, General. They have noships. Theyre just a bunch of refugees, dumped here by the WesternGalactic Empire. As far as we can see, they have no weapons at all.Losses ofyour precious troops should be minimal.
Smith seemed reassured. Very well. In that case, Ill order a simul-taneous land and air attack for the first of May. One hundred squadronsand ten divisions should do the trick. We better warn the local Americanpopulation to get out of town, because we are going to blast the placetoSmithereens.