windsor - Nine Day Novel-Authorphobia: Laugh at Your Fear of Writing (Writing Fiction Novels #0)

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NINE DAY NOVEL

AUTHOR

PHOBIA

STEVE WINDSOR

Published by

vixenink.com

::Disclaimer

This book is for informational purposes only. Its not a serious book. In fact, its far from it. I wrote this book to be informational and entertaining and to help you overcome your fear of sucking. However, reading it for too long may cause hemorrhaging eyes, high blood pressure, heart palpitations, anal leakage, blurred vision, dizziness, depression, dyxlessia (yes, I misspelled that on purpose), loose bowels, pregnancy (if you are so equipped), and worst of all, impotence. If you ever plan on having children, I wouldnt read this book.

All that being said, the information found within the contents of this book may contain third-party products and services. These third-party materials consist of products and opinions expressed by their owners. As such, the author and/or the publisher do not assume responsibility or liability for any third-party material or opinions expressed.

The use of recommended third-party material does not guarantee any success and/or earnings related to you or your business. Publication of such third-party material is simply a recommendation and an expression of the authors own opinion of that particular material.

Links to third-party resources may be affiliate links, meaning the author may receive compensation if a service is ultimately purchased from such a link.

VIXEN ink

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

NINE DAY NOVEL: AUTHOR-PHOBIA

A VIXEN ink book/Published by arrangement with the author

Copyright 2015 by Steve Windsor

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission

(Printed Version)

ISBN-13: 978-1514140970

ISBN-10: 1514140977

Dedicated to my Fellow Sucking Authors

To us authors and our irrational fears. May we suck less today than we did yesterday.

THE SUCKING TABLE OF CONTENTS

NINE DAY NOVEL: AUTHORPHOBIA

THE SUCKING INTRODUCTION

QUOTATION BOOKS SUCK

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. Ralph Waldo Emerson

I despise pithy little quotation books that paraphrase long-dead authors as if their perspective on writing from 300 years ago has any bearing or relation to your current author struggle... in a modern-day capitalistic and overly technological culture. So... I decided to write one of my own.

Yep, thats how this books gonna go. Hang on!

ARE YOU A SUCKING WRITER?

Have you ever...

• Heard that little voice inside your head, whispering to you that your writing sucked?

• Simply felt too terrified to start writing anything?

• Wanted to write a story but couldnt think of anything to write about?

• Had the wind knocked out of your sailsbeen critiqued by a seemingly well-meaning person and decided that they were right and gave up?

• Read and read and read motivational books on writing only to end up more fearful afterward?

• Compared yourself to successful writers and decided that youll never measure up?

• Asked yourself, Who would care about my stories, anyway?

If so, congratulations! Youre a writer!

The only trouble isat this stage in the game, if youre not writing yet because youre afraid, chances are you think youll suck at it. Well, Ill tell you what no other motivational mushery book about becoming an author will tell you in the beginning... you do suck at it. We all do. Did.

And all those authors you want to be just like? They did too.

Calm down, calm down!

Trust me, there isnt a successful author out there who didnt suck when they first started . And thats the entire point of this book. Getting past your fear is easiest if you simply accept that at the beginning of learning any new skill, everyone and anyone must start out as a rookie.

The good news is, fear is fixable.

You dont know it yet, but every one of those feelings above , including the fear that youll suck, means that youre a writer . Its that simple.

Non-writers, or people who dont care about writing, couldn't care less about any of those things. Meh, so what? theyd say. Just being able to identify those feelings in yourself, means that you give a damn about writing. And thats a powerful force you can harness.

Admitting youre a writer is half the battle. The easy half or the hard half is up for debate. Steve Windsor (Tweet this!)

But, if realizing youre a writer is half the battle, why dont we all just pick up pens or flip open laptops as fast as we can and start writing? What are we so afraid of, anyway?

As it turns out... plenty.

YOUR FIRST NOVEL WILL SUCK

If youre like I was, upon feeling the first inkling that you might like to write, that was the voice you heard. A nagging voice that assured you that you wouldnt be any good at it.

The little critic in your headevery sensible person youd ever knownextended its pinkie finger a little straighter, took another sip of that dry martini he was sipping (my critics a hekinda Thurston Howell III from Gilligans Island)...

Anyway, Thurston plucked that little plastic sword out of his glass. Then, bare-teethed, he bit down and slipped the salty, vodka-saturated olive off it. Then he ground it to a pulp in his mouth. After swallowing, he paused only briefly before he said, Steve, youre not a writer. Thats simply ridiculous!

If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. Vincent Van Gogh

If you remember nothing else from this book, remember that quoteits the essence of how to overcome your fear of writing.

I wish I wouldve known that though, because instead I did what many of us domost of us, in factI simply buried my desires to write... for almost 30 years.

I KNOW THAT SUCKING FEELING

That was when I was nineteen, and I made the mistake of showing a little story I had written to a girl I liked and she laughed at it. And that, as they say, was that.

Yeah... No more writing, said Thurston. Bad, bad idea. My testosterone-fueled, nineteen-year-old, this is not gonna get a girl to like us ego agreeda scoffing chuckle was not the response we were looking for.

But I did write. If your soul wants something, your brain cant just tell it to shut up.