Diane - Queerly Beloved

Synopsis

Imagine if, after fifteen years as a lesbian couple, your partner turned to you and said, "I think I'm really a man." What would you do? How would you respond? For Diane and Jacob (ne Suzy) Anderson-Minshall this isn't a hypothetical question. It's what really happened. Eight years later, the couple not only remains together, they still identify as queer, still work in LGBT media, and remain part of the LGBT community. How did their relationship survive a gender transition? The authors explore this question and delve into their relationship to reveal the trials and tribulations they have faced along the way. In doing so, they paint a portrait of love, not only to each other, but to the San Francisco Bay Area, LGBT publishing, and the queer community. Queerly Beloved is a love story that flies in the face of expectations and raises questions about the true nature of identity, sexuality, and love.

Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders

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Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders

2014 By Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN 13: 978-1-62639-105-5

This Electronic Book is published by

Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

P.O. Box 249

Valley Falls, New York 12185

First Edition: May 2014

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

Credits

Editor: Shelley Thrasher

Production Design: Susan Ramundo

Cover Design By Sheri (GraphicArtist2020@hotmail.com)

Advance Praise for Queerly Beloved

Can a relationship last when the person you thought you knew, is really someone different? Can it last when your partner transitions from one gender to the other? These are questions that are often asked, but sadly, very few narratives exist to reveal the answers, that is until Queerly Beloved . Diane and Jacobs love story and commitment to each other even in times of struggle and uncertainty will give readers hope when exploring their own relationships and the fear surrounding uncertain futures.Ryan Sallans, Author of Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life

An important story to tell and book to read that highlights the many struggles the LGBT community faces and the complexities that comes with being queer. This is a wonderful patch in the broad and beautiful quilt that is the gay family!Perez Hilton

By the Authors

Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders

The Blind Eye Detective Agency Series

Blind Curves

Blind Leap

Blind Faith

By Diane Anderson-Minshall

Punishment With Kisses

Acknowledgments

Our relationship did not survive the events in this book in a vacuum. As a couple, we have benefited from the support of our family and friends including Athena and Jason Brewer, Erica Halberg, Dustina and Jennifer Haas-Lanier, Jeff Probart, all our parents (see the dedication), Wendy and Jose Cruz, Michelle and Rob Irwin, Keith and Tina Anderson, Tanya and Jaime Bolonos, Janet Engle, Tom and Ann Beyer, and the extended Anderson, Biggs, Norman, Minshall families.

Diane: Id also like to thank Frances Stevens, my home girl and publisher at Curve , without whom my career would be in a different place today and without whose support Jacob and I might have gone into the closet about our relationships biggest curveball. You standing by me during and after Jacobs transition made the world of difference to me. I also need to call out all the many brilliant women Ive worked with over the years at Curve, Alice , and Girlfriends , the women who have sustained me creatively, supported me as a boss in a way I could never have dreamed possible, and who stood by me during and after the transition. To name just a few, among the dozens I could: Katie Peoples, Rachel Shatto, Kristin Smith, Stephanie Liang, Ondine Kilker, Flo Enriquez, Haley McMillan, Amy Silverman, Athena Brewer, Lori Selke, Kathleen Hildenband, and Bonnie Barrett. Lastly, a posthumous thanks to Helen Gurley Brown; though I never worked with her, she showed me an image of self-determined womanhood, and proof that a woman could be a career success, a sexual being, and a good wife without giving up her independence and self-determination. A note in which she congratulated me on launching my first magazine still hangs in my office. Today, Id like to think shed be proud of the queer woman Ive become.

Jacob: The biggest callout for me should go to Max Wolf Valerio, Matt Kailey, Joshua Klip, Shawn Dorsey, Scott Turner Scofield, and all the other transgender men who helped me navigate through my transition. These guys, through their books, music, and other creative works, were instrumental in helping me figure out what manhood really meant to me . Thanks to all those who paved the way, the trans pioneers and people like Jamison Green, who kindly sat down with me years ago and showed me how much being a trans man was like anything elsesimply what you decide to make of it. Helen Boyd Kramer deserves my thanks for not only giving voice to the partners of trans folk but for all the late night instant messaging, becoming my virtual friend and commiserating about non-feminists. We were experiencing the opposite sides of the same coin but continue to share many of the same feelings and experiences, and for that I am thankful. Thanks, too, to the brilliant trans women whose works (and personal words) have also added to my journey, including Jennifer Boylan, Julia Sereno, Ryka Aoki, Candis Cayne, Janet Mock, and Shawna Virago.

There are so many people we cant mention on this page, but really should. You probably know who you are and understand how brain dead and sleep deprived we are after finishing this book, and for that, we are most thankful. We couldnt have navigated this journey without all of your support, encouragement, and leadership. And lots and lots of coffee.

Dedication

To the village that raised usWayne and Judy Minshall, Luanne Anderson, Keith and Marlene Foss Anderson, Paula Hernandez and Bob Postelfor, in your own way, helping us become the people we are. Weve tried to leave your stories out of this book as much as we could, for your privacy and self-determination, though some day we think they should be told, too.

Introduction

DIANE

Let me tell you about a woman I once loved. She was beautiful and unassuming, the kind of woman so used to thinking of herself as an ugly duckling that she doesnt even know how attractive she is. I saw a photo of her in high school once, about five years before I met her, and I couldnt believe she wasnt homecoming queen or most popular or something like that. She had dirty-blond hair in a rocker-girl shag and was wearing bell-bottom jeans (atop legs that seem to extend beyond whats reasonable) and a heavy-metal T-shirt. She was part Joan Jett and part Cherry Currie, but what popped out most (besides the killer legs, a fantastic body, and a smile that could melt icebergs) were her wolf-gray eyes. They were stunning in the photo and equally captivating the first time I could really gaze into them.