Albers - Hanger management: master your hunger and improve your mood, mind, and relationships

50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food

50 More Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food

Eat Q

But I Deserve This Chocolate!

Mindful Eating 101

Eating Mindfully

Eat, Drink & Be Mindful

Eating Mindfully for Teens

T he inspiration for this book began eleven years agoin church.

No, it wasnt divine intervention. It was a moment of sheer embarrassment.

That day in church I had made a grave mistake, but I didnt know it until about twenty minutes into the service.

I remember it vividly. At first, everything was going well. It was like any other Sunday. My eighteen-month-old daughter was smiling and waving, entertaining the people seated around us. I was so proud of her. She looked cute as a button and angelic in a pink, ruffly dress with a pink bow secured in her blond hair.

But then she began to get fussy and wiggly.

I recognized this change in her demeanor immediately and knew exactly what it meant. I smiled and reached calmly into my oversized bag for her Cheerios. My hand fished around the bottom of the bag. Then I began to frantically search the pockets.

Oh no. Did I forget the Cheerios? I thought. These were essential to getting through an hour-long service. I made the baggie, I know I did. But then a memory flashed before my eyes: the bag of Cheerios, still sitting on our marble kitchen countertop.

I tried to distract her with her plush Elmo and silly faces, but before my horrified eyes, she began to unravel. She stomped her feet and insisted on her Cheerios. I tried some frantic shushing. The people around me were beginning to give me that look.

Then, before I knew it, she dashed up the aisle, threw herself down in front of the congregation and had a full-on meltdown. Oh yes. Screaming. Wailing.

I wanted to disappear into the floor. Instead, I dashed to the front to carry her offarms and feet flailing. As I rushed her out, in front of everyone, my face was a dark shade of crimson.

I had just had an unforgettable lesson in the power of hunger to change our moods.

Lets fast-forward to today. My daughter is a teenager now, but despite all the ways in which shes grown up since that day in church, I still see how the power of food influences her mood.

When I pick her up from school, I can read the emotional climate as soon as the car door shuts. It ranges from Hey Mom, ask me all about my day! to Dont talk to me until I feel human again. True, lots of things besides hunger affect a teenagers mood. But I am still in awe of how big a factor hunger is on that list. So Ive learned to wait until we are home and she has had a healthy snack before I ask too many questions about her day. Its worth the wait to hear about what is happening when she has a well-nourished stomach. Its often the difference between a curt My day was fine or Let me tell you all about what happened today, Mom.

I often talk with my daughter and son about the food and mood connection. Cognitively, they get it. Good food = good mood. Pretty straightforward.

But it wasnt until I took a trip to New York City with my daughter that this concept really hit home for her. My mother, my daughter, and I drove to New York City from Ohioabout eight hours. We started the day with a solid breakfast and had almost reached New Jersey before everyone in the car really began to talk about how hungry they were getting.

I had packed some snacks. My daughter suggested we dig into them so we could skip the mediocre roadside options and focus on finding amazing food in NYC.

I liked this plan. I was dreaming about Thai food in Chelsea.

But to my surprise, my mom crossed her arms and snipped angrily, I dont want junk. I want food. Real food.

My daughter and I exchanged glances. But as my mom had insisted, I drove until I found the next exit.

At the restaurant where we stopped, when my mom went to the bathroom, my daughter tapped me on the shoulder. Im sorry for all the things Ive ever said when I was hangry, she said earnestly. I knew this wordthe combination of hungry and angry. It was the perfect description of what was happening here.

I smiled internally at my daughters dead-serious expression. Until that day, she had not witnessed the power of hunger to turn her sweet, mild-mannered grandma into a hungry bear!

We could all use some hanger management in our lives, I told her. And voila! The title for this book was born.

I want to take a moment here for an important caveat. There are many people in the world today who are hungry because they do not have access to food. They are hungry, and sometimes literally starving, for reasons other than the ones that we cover in this book. I dont mention this to provoke guilt. But I think it is important to acknowledge that the hunger Ill be talking about in these pages isnt the type that comes from lack of access to food. It comes from a different problem, and one that we can be grateful for even as we manage it: the struggles we face because we have an abundance of food. Kind of like the way a flood presents a problem different from those caused by a drought.

My hope is that my daughter and son both learn the art of managing their emotional and physical hunger well, so that they can be at their best as young adultsand as adults. And I work in my office at the Cleveland Clinic and through the virtual office of my website (eatingmindfully.com) every day with people who are trying to be their best selvesas parents, employees, students, friends, family members, and significant others.