allenlouise - 1001 secrets of feminine cross dressing: a practical handbok for the stylish transvestite

Women take so many things for granted. They just know that a size 14 dress in one shop will bear no relation in size and shape to a size 14 in another; they wouldn't dream of going shopping in killer heels; and they really shouldn't make the mistake of picking styles and shapes that emphasise their worst features. So how do they know all this? Practice.

But you start from a different position. You instinctively know about how men dress so if you prefer, or simply enjoy, dressing as a woman, there are plenty of things you can learn that will help to make you look good and feel great.

In fact, one of the first questions asked by men who cross dress and by transsexuals is about clothes and dressing stylishly as a woman. So, when the suggestion was made to me to put together some specific information on stylish cross dressing, I thought, 'Wow! What a great idea'.

This suggestion was made to me during a conversation with a colleague at the Transgender Support Group I run. We aim to offer mutual inspiration and understanding between people identified as being transgender. Once established, the group seemed to grow in numbers quite quickly - more quickly than I originally anticipated - although perhaps I should not have been surprised. In his book Transsexual and other disorders of gender identity (2007), James Barrett suggests that high numbers of people do not feel that the gender they were born with matches how they feel on the inside, and that the ratio of male to female transsexuals is one in 11,000 and female to male transsexuals is one in 37,000 although this figure is considered to be an under-representation. You may be one of the many people who simply like to cross dress - the estimate is that one in ten males do so at some time. Or you may be beginning the transition to becoming a woman and maybe even considering gender reassignment surgery.

This book is a collaboration. I am a psychiatric nurse and specialise in working with the transgender community in the South coast region of the UK. Louise Allen is a senior lecturer in fashion at the University of Portsmouth, researching a PhD in image, founder of her own image consultancy and has worked with groups of women who suffered from low self-esteem and low confidence levels.

The aim of this collaboration is to look at all the practical aspects of cross dressing. It is intended to be a helpful guide for all those who want to dress as a woman. Whatever your specific situation, this book is designed to help you find your unique style when you are dressing as a woman: the colours and shapes that suit you, how to buy clothes that fit you, and generally how to look good - no great! - as a woman.

Welcome to our guide to becoming a stylish transvestite! We've helped so many people just like you, we're happy that we can offer some assistance in what can be one of the most challenging and yet rewarding things you may ever do. This ebook is intended to help as many people as possible to live a life of joy and happiness, being their true selves.

If you know of other people who might benefit from reading this material, please send them the link to our website www.transvestitetemple.com, where you'll find much more supportive information to help you in your chosen lifestyle.

Many of you just love being a transvestite and have bought this handbook for the practical information that will help you look even more stylish and guide you through those shopping and dressing minefields. If you are already comfortable with yourself and simply enjoy cross dressing - whether in private or in public - that's brilliant. That's where all transvestites want to be. You may want to skip this short chapter - or just skim through.

But there are others who haven't quite got their head round how they feel about cross dressing, and this chapter is for them. If that's you, hopefully this book will help you to be confident about what you enjoy and to embrace the positive way you feel about dressing as a woman.

Accepting the fact that you enjoy cross dressing is a difficulty many, although not all, of you are likely to face at some point in your lives. In some cases this can lead to a rejection of this lifestyle, only to succumb a few weeks later and start cross dressing again. This yo-yo effect can make it difficult for you - whichever phase in the cycle you are experiencing.

Society's attitude has changed hugely in recent years but it is still not as permissive and as accepting as it could be in this area. The general perception is often that men only cross dress to satisfy sexual arousal or if they are gay; neither is necessarily true. In fact, cross dressing is not usually associated with sexual arousal, and the majority of men who cross dress describe their sexual preference as being heterosexual. Such perceptions are misleading and confusing for a lot of trans people as others do not understand the feelings of joy and comfort that cross dressing brings. So often, this confusion can lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

You should feel wonderful about being who you are and comfortable with what you choose to do with your spare time without any feelings of guilt or harassment from others. This is a complex personal issue - how to dress, where to dress, how to look more feminine and be accepted by others. Worrying about how to make others accept you and whether or not they understand your needs just makes it harder.

Many trans people find that cross dressing allows them to take time out of the masculine role and the pressures associated with it. It allows time for you to be yourself. Traditional perceptions allow women to ask for help and be cared for; the expectation is not the same for men. Sometimes all you want to do is escape from it all. To dress when you are feeling stressed can feel quite soothing and can be a good coping mechanism.

It is important for you to be able to understand your own feelings. There may be times when you feel guilty, low, harassed and frustrated. It is not easy to live with this secret, as many of you do. You need to try to put some strategies in place to help you through these times. Using some simple steps to try to alleviate any feelings of frustration may help to reduce these feelings.

Some basic steps can include things as simple as taking some exercise. Going out for a walk and changing your environment, listening to music, watching a good film or positive affirmations can all be really helpful in retraining your brain to think in a more positive way and can work wonders at lifting your spirits. It almost sounds too obvious, but all these things can help.

Friends are really important. Being able to share your problems can help you to gain a different perspective on your frustrations, especially if they share this experience with you. They may be able to tell you how they handled a similar situation. Remember the old saying of 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. Also, being with someone helps to get rid of feelings of isolation. You do not have to talk about your problems if you don't want to, but at least you can have time off from your head and those unhelpful thoughts that are whizzing around in there.

Talking things through with a partner may help. You should always feel proud of who you are and enjoy yourself, have fun flirting and enjoy those blonde moments, but try not to hide behind them.