Kaufman - The Time Has Come

Table of Contents

Advance Praise for The Time Has Come

This book is a timely, incisive, and accessible wake-up call for men around the world. One of the things Im asked most commonly in my work is: Where are the men discussing these issues? Why arent more men taking up this cause? Where is the book that will speak to men about this topic? Well that book is here. It is vital reading for men everywhere, and I hope it will support a new wave of men and boys to become part of a battle that is as much theirs as it is womens.

LAURA BATES, author of Everyday Sexism and founder of the Everyday Sexism Project

Kaufman provides a compelling case for mens stake in joining the fight for gender equity and for the benefits that we stand to gain in doing so. With humor, heart, and research he provides a relatable blueprint for men who want to embark on this important journey.

MATT McGORRY, actor (Orange Is the New Black, How to Get Away with Murder) and activist

With a combination of compelling stories and facts, Michael Kaufman offers a timely and important case for engaging men in the ongoing fight for gender equality.

DEBORAH GILLIS, former president and CEO of Catalyst

Being a male feminist isnt an option. Its a requirement, a duty, and a calling. This is not a book about history. This is a book about the future, and a guide on how to get there. We all owe a debt of gratitude to Michael Kaufman, not just for being the messenger, but for spending his life living the message.

ANDY DUNN, cofounder of Bonobos mens clothing stores

This is a must-read book that will help us to rethink and redefine gender roles. It thoughtfully describes the deep-rooted stereotypes we need to challenge and the opportunities that will arise when we do. This is a book of hope.

ALINE SANTOS, Executive Vice President Global Marketing and Global Head of Diversity and Inclusion, Unilever

One of the first men to stand up publicly against violence against women, Michael Kaufman has written a comprehensive and popular call to men to join the battle for gender equality not only through ending violence against women but also by supporting womens equality on an economic, social, political, and personal level. Give it to every man you know.

JUDY REBICK, feminist, journalist, and author of Heroes in My Head

Michael Kaufman makes a compelling case for why womens issues are everyones issues and for the role men play in challenging misogyny and creating more just societies.

SORAYA CHEMALY, writer and director of Womens Media Center Speech Project

This is the global guidebook for all men, particularly our young men, to reflect and reconcile the global struggle and aspiration to redefine our lives as men. May all of us take what we learn from this book to action: listening to women and engaging men to work toward a better tomorrow for all.

DAVID L. BELL, MD, MPH, medical director of The Young Mens Clinic at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University Medical Center

Kaufmans The Time Has Come offers a personal and instructive appeal for men to take the journey from self-reflection to allyship to advocacy around gender equality.

WADE DAVIS, former NFL player, writer, and educator

Michael Kaufman forces us to face the central question in working to stop violence against women and for gender equality: if not now, when?

OLIVIA CHOW, distinguished visiting professor at Ryerson University, former member of the Parliament of Canada, and survivor of physical and sexual violence

Just as I expected, a thought-provoking book from Michael Kaufman. He is so right that the time has truly come for men to step it up for a gender equal world, to listen to the voices of womenand to take joint action. Gender equality is not a womans problem; it is a societal issue, an economic issue, and an imperative for driving progress for all.

KATJA IVERSEN, president and CEO of Women Deliver

From a long career at the forefront of the movement for gender justice, Michael Kaufman offers a beautifully written, compelling vision for how mens lives can improveindeed, are already improvingas sexism and its supporting structures give way. He models both compassion and an uncompromising commitment to truth as he traces new possibilities for men and paints an enticing picture of what lies just ahead. Parents of boys will find Kaufmans message essential and encouraging.

MICHAEL C. REICHERT, author of How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men

While progress toward achieving gender equity in media and entertainment is still glacial in many areas, we need to engage men and boys to stand by our sides, to help give us a stronger voice, get us a seat at the table, and be our champions in order to make systemic change. Michael Kaufmans book is a must-read!

MADELINE DI NONNO, CEO of the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media

The Time Has Come is world-changing and life-changing for women and for the men who make a stand.

GARY BARKER, founder and CEO of Promundo, Washington, D.C., and member of the UN Secretary-Generals Network of Men Leaders

ALSO BY MICHAEL KAUFMAN

Cracking the Armour: Power, Pain, and the Lives of Men

AS EDITOR

Beyond Patriarchy: Essays by Men on Pleasure, Power, and Change

Community Power and Grassroots Democracy: The Transformation of Social Life

with Haroldo Dilla Alfonso

Theorizing Masculinities

with Harry Brod

FICTION

The Possibility of Dreaming on a Night Without Stars

The Afghan Vampires Book Club

with Gary Barker

To Nathan, Liam, and Nathan

my father, my son, my grandsonwith all my love

The Time Has Come

Copyright 2019 by Michael Kaufman

First hardcover edition: 2019

All rights reserved under International and Pan American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-64009-119-1

The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

Jacket design by Sarah Brody

Book design by Jordan Koluch

COUNTERPOINT

2560 Ninth Street, Suite 318

Berkeley, CA 94710

www.counterpointpress.com

Printed in the United States of America

Distributed by Publishers Group West

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Contents

T he public world of gender relations is exploding around us. The private world of relationships, families, and sex is a minefield of power and love. There has never, ever, in the eight-thousand-year history of our male-dominated world, been a moment quite like this. You and I are living it. The gender equality revolution.