Winton - Breath

ALSO BY TIM WINTON

An Open Swimmer
Shallows
Scission
That Eye, the Sky
Minimum of Two
In the Winter Dark
Cloudstreet
The Riders
Blueback
Dirt Music
The Turning

TIM WINTON

BREATH

FARRAR, STRAUS AND GIROUX

NEW YORK

Farrar, Straus and Giroux
18 West 18th Street, New York 10011

Copyright 2008 by Tim Winton
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
Originally published in 2008 by Hamish Hamilton, Australia
Published in the United States by Farrar, Straus and Giroux
First American edition, 2008

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Winton, Tim.
Breath / Tim Winton. 1st American ed.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-374-11634-7 (hardcover : alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 0-374-11634-2 (hardcover : alk. paper)
1. Young menFiction. 2. FriendshipFiction. 3. SurfersFiction.
4. AustraliaFiction. I. Title.

PR9619.3.W585B73 2008
823.914dc22

2007047879

Text design by John Canty Penguin Group (Australia)

www.fsgbooks.com

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

For Howard Willis

W E COME SWEEPING up the tree-lined boulevard with siren and lights and when the GPS urges us to make the next left we take it so fast that all the gear slams and sways inside the vehicle. I dont say a thing. Down the dark suburban street I can see the house lit like a cruise ship.

Got it, she says before I can point it out.

Feel free to slow down.

Making you nervous, Bruce?

Something like that, I murmur.

But the fact is I feel brilliant. This is when I feel good, when the nerve-ends are singing, the gut tight with anticipation. Its been a long, slow shift and theres never been any love lost between Jodie and me. At handover I walked up on a conversation I wasnt supposed to hear. But that was hours ago. Now Im alert and tingly with dread. Bring it on.

At the call address Jodie kills the siren and wheels around to reverse up the steep drive. Shes amped, I guess, and a bit puffed up with a sense of her own competence. Not a bad kid, just green. She doesnt know it but Ive got daughters her age.

When she hits the handbrake and calls in our arrival at the job I jump out and rip the side door back to grab the resus kit. Beneath the porch steps on the dewy grass is a middle-aged bloke hugging himself in silence and I can see in a moment that although hes probably done his collarbone hes not our man. So I leave him to Jodie and go on up to announce myself in the open doorway.

In the livingroom two teenage girls hunch at opposite ends of a leather couch.

Upstairs? I ask.

One of them points without even lifting her head, and already I know that this jobs become a pack and carry. Usually they see the uniform and light up with hope, but neither of them gives me as much as a glance.

The bedroom in question isnt hard to find. A little mat of vomit in the hall. Splinters of wood. I step over the broken-down door and see the mother at the bed where the boy is laid out, and as I quietly introduce myself I take it all in. The room smells of pot and urine and disinfectant and its clear that shes cut him down and dressed him and tidied everything up.

I slip in beside her and do the business but the kids been gone a while. He looks about seventeen. There are ligature marks on his neck and older bruises around them. Even while Im going through the motions she strokes the boys dark, curly hair. A nice-looking kid. Shes washed him. He smells of Pears soap and freshly laundered clothes. I ask for her name and for her sons, and she tells me that shes June and the boys name is Aaron.

Im sorry, June, I murmur, but hes passed away.

I know that.

You found him a while ago. Before you called.

She says nothing.

June, Im not the police.

Theyre already on their way.

Can I open the wardrobe? I ask as Jodie steps into the doorway.

Id prefer that you didnt, says June.

Okay. But you know that the police will.

Do they have to?

The mother looks at me properly for the first time. Shes a handsome woman in her forties with short, dark hair and arty pendant earrings, and I can imagine that an hour ago, when her lipstick and her life were still intact, shed have been erect and confident, even a little haughty.

Its their job, June.

You seem to have made some kind of assumption.

June, I say, glancing up at Jodie. Lets just say Ive seen a few things in my time. Honestly, I couldnt begin to tell you.

Then youll tell me how this happened, why hes done this to himself.

Ive called for another car, says Jodie.

Yeah, good, I mutter. June, this is Jodie. Shes my partner tonight.

Go ahead and tell me why.

Because your husbands broken his collarbone, says Jodie. He broke down the door here, right?

So what do I tell them? the mother asks, ignoring Jodie altogether.

Thats really for you to decide, I say. But theres no shame in the truth. Its fairer on everybody.

The woman looks at me again. I squat in front of her beside the bed. She smooths the skirt down onto her knees.

I must be transparent, she murmurs.

I try to give her a kindly smile but my face feels stiff. Behind her I can see the usual posters on the wall: surfers, rockstars, women in provocative poses. The bookshelf above the desk has its sports trophies and souvenirs from Bali and the computer goes through a screensaver cycle of the twin towers endlessly falling. She reaches for my hand and I give it to her. She feels no warmer than her dead son.

No one will understand.

No, I say. Probably not.

Youre a father.

Yes, I am.

Car doors slam in the street below.

June, would you like a moment alone with Aaron before the police come in?

Ive had my moment, she says, letting go my hand to pat her hair abstractedly.

Jodie? Will you just pop down and let the police know where we are?

Jodie folds her arms petulantly but goes with a flick of her little blonde ponytail.

That girl doesnt like you.

No, not much.

So what do I do?

I cant advise you, June.

Ive got other children to consider.

Yes.

And a husband.

He will have to go to hospital, Im afraid.

Lucky him.

I get to my feet and collect my kit. She stands and brushes her skirt down and gazes back at the boy on the bed.

Is there anyone else youd like me to call?

Jodie and two cops appear at the door.

Call? says June. You can call my son back. As you can see, hes not listening to his mother.

When were almost back to the depot for knock-off Jodie breaks the silence.

So when were you planning to let me know what all that was about?

All what?

With that poor woman. For a moment there I thought you were flirting with her.

Well, you can add that to your list of complaints.

Look, Im sorry.

Arrogant, aloof, sexist, bad communicator, gung-ho. Obviously I missed a few things, coming in late. But for the record, Jodie, Im not a Vietnam vet. Believe it or not, Im not old enough.

I feel awful, alright?

So get a roster change. Be my guest. But dont do your bitching at handover in the middle of the bloody shed with your back to the door. Its unfriendly and its unprofessional.

Look, I said I was sorry.

When I look across at her I see in the lights of a passing truck that shes almost in tears. She hangs on to the wheel as though its all thats holding her together.