Mazzetti - The Swoly Bible

Yo. The name is Dom Mazzetti and Im the founder of Bro Science Life.

Now, before I get into what exactly Bro Science is, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

Like many of our worlds leaders, I hail from the great state of New Jersey.

Im not talking about the New Jersey youre familiar with from the TV show Jersey Shore, though I did definitely tear up Seaside every weekend during high school. No, I grew up in small-farm-town Jersey. No lie, kids would drive their fucking tractors to school. In my town, you had to create your entertainment or else youd be sittin on your ass all weekend. Wed throw bonfire parties in our neighbors backyard while they were on vacation. Caused a few forest fires, but no one needs to know that. But even as a young buck, I knew if I didnt get the hell out of New Jersey eventually, I was destined to become another townie who takes weekend trips to Hoboken. The thing about New Jersey is that when you are in it, your only goal is to get the fuck out, and once you do get out, it becomes your biggest pride. Kind of like prison. And I knew that a scrawny dude from the burbs aint gonna fare well in prison.

My only choice was to pull an El Chapo and start my own life. Today, many of you know me as a ripped muscle god who basically started the Internet, but that wasnt always the case. I have a secret Im finally ready to share with you. Hold on... I am getting a little choked up... this never happens... a shot of tequila for courage... okay, here it goes: I, Dom Mazzetti, used to be small. What a pussy, I know.

You never notice how small you are until youre standing next to someone bigger than you. Eventually, I just started noticing people becoming bigger than me and the larger they got, the better they got. Now, I aint no mathematician, but its clear as day that to be alpha is to be huge. E = mc Huge . I needed to get there. I needed to not feel like a complete squeeb around chicks or always wonder, What if you were jacked, Dom? Fuck that. I needed to do something. And I wasnt about to volunteer for random drug testing by playing a sport, so I did the next best thing: I hit the gym, aka the Church of Iron. My complete personal transformation into what you see today is all because of the gym.

Getting huge is all I know and it is my duty to share with you all that I have learned.

I will never forget the day I was introduced to the gym. It all started because this chick I asked on a date sophomore year of high school turned me down and proceeded to get drilled out by some yoked- out very cool community college bro. How could I hate on that guy? He had everything: a sick Mitsubishi Lancer with a spoiler, the hottest chick in my grade, and a tattoo of a baseball on his back. But even without all that, the guy had gains. See, what I came to realize about getting jacked is if you take everything else away, youre still jacked. Having mass is all you need. That very day, I walked into the school gym and aimlessly moved weight around until a random bro asked me to spot him. This moment changed my life because this random bro was not random. He was in fact sent to me from a higher power. He was my muscle angel, aka my brofessor.

From that day forth I was hitting the gym so much that I eventually started a YouTube channel dedicated to the craft called Bro Science Life. Bro Science Life chronicles all I have learned and continue to learn in the gym, and now, at the request of bros everywhere, I present to you my findings in book form. The Swoly Bible is a field manual on all things Bro Science. For example, lets say a snowstorm hits your town and your gym is closed, but you took a rest day yesterday and now youre small. What do you do?

BRO TIP: You crack open The Swoly Bible and skip right to Chapter 38: Extreme Pump SecretsHome Edition.

Now, you may be wondering what swoly means. Swoly is derived from the Latin, swollen, which in French is swole, which in English is big. To be swole is the single greatest accomplishment of your life, and lucky for you, you can be swole at least once a day if you follow my guidance. The Swoly Bible is here to learn you on all the ways of acquiring swole, how to maintain that swole, and most important, how to transport that heavy cargo, aka your body, outside the gym and into the real world.

Welcome to the first and last book you will ever need to read. The Swoly Bible is meant to become a part of you. A text you will carry with you and consult during hard times and good.