Claire Shipman - Womenomics: Work Less, Achieve More, Live Better

How to stop juggling and struggling and fi nally start

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living and working the way you really want

womenomics

Write Your

Own Rules for

Success

CLAIRE SHIPMANand

KATTY KAY

For Tom

And for F, M, J and P,

With so much love, Katty.

For my father, Morgan, who taught me the thrillof a life of the mind.

For my mother, Christie, who showed me the joyof a life of the heart.

For my husband, Jay, whos encouraged, withgreat humor and patience and love, my struggleto pursue both.

And for Hugo and Della, whove managed toshatter everything I thought I knew, and rearrangeit into a design thats suddenly, brilliantly clear.

Love, Claire

CONTENT S

v

Womenomics 101

What We Really Want

Redefining SuccessIts All in Your Mind 47

Good-bye Guilt (and Hello No)

Lazy Like a Fox: Work Smarter Not Harder 109

Value Added: Redefine Your Value, Value Your Time 133

Nine Rules to Negotiate Nirvana:

How to Change Your Whole Work Deal

A Womenomics World

Erin clicks send on her last e-mail of the day, stretches herlegs, and checks her watch. Relief and anticipation fl oodthrough her. Shes right on schedule half an hour to packup, grab a Diet Coke, and reach her sons baseball practice atfour oclock. She relishes these afternoons with him, and arrives at seven in the morning on Thursdays, just to be sureshell be out the door on time. And then she often fi nishes upany remaining work she has left in the eveningsfrom home.

A trade well worth the extra hours, Erin shrugs, as she getsher papers together. Her boss says he doesnt mind, as long asits only once a week. She rubs her head. Did he seem put outlast week when she reminded him shed miss an afternoonmeeting? She must be imagining that. Her work is stellar,after all. Shes a rising star. Of course, she will have to endurethe gauntlet of raised eyebrows from colleagues as she headsout, briefcase in hand, clearly leaving for the day. Her shoulders tense a bit as she grabs her keys.

A shadow crosses her desk. Her boss, Michael, a friendlybut exacting fi fty-two-year-old, a top performer at the company, introduc tion

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has something in his hand. Dread invades her stomach as theblue binder hits her desk. Erin, he says, his voice urgent,excited even. Weve just been offered a shot at the Clearwater deal. Could you take a quick look, let me know yourthoughts? Erin stares up at him, frozen in frustration, asher mind plunges into that exquisite form of maternal torture: imagining the agony of a disappointed child. Can shesay no? And then her ego kicks in. The Clearwater dealsheknows that project cold. Its the sort of work that gives her anadrenaline rush and would really burnish her reputation.

Why does it feel that there are no good choices? It would beeasy enough to go through the report a few hours from now,and e-mail her thoughts to Michael, but how will that look?

Uninterested? Uncommitted? She begins to feel physicallyill, as those familiar stress hormones kick in. Why does shefeel so guilty, so powerless, so trapped?

Erin could be Mary, she could be Andrea, she could be Karen.

She could be a sales rep, or a doctor, or an accountant. She could be in Houston, Minneapolis, New York. And that commitment to her son could be a visit with an elderly father, a marathon training session, or even a long-planned outing with friends.

Erin was us. Shes probably you. But she doesnt have to be.

Not anymore.

For years the two of us would often swap our own personal versions of the Erin experiencefurtively at fi rstuntil it became clear we had a similar sensibility. We worried that anything that smacked of lack of ambition, of working but not always aiming for the pinnacle, just wouldnt be professionally correct. And so in an ironic twist on the old-boys network, wed offer each other private advice on turning down plum jobs and avoiding tantalizing promotions that might upend the hard-won balance of our daily lives.

introduc tion

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The more we talked, and then read, and then reported, the more we realized we were on to something much bigger than our own experiences. What weve uncovered is nothing short of a brewing workplace revolution. And its a revolution, luckily for all of us, well-suited for any economy. Indeed tough economic times are ushering in the change even more quickly.

A few facts: the overwhelming majority of women are longing to kick down that dreaded corporate ladder, fl ee the 8 a.m.

to-day-care-closing dash, but at the same time hang on to some real status. We have had enough of the fi fty- or sixty-hour workweeks, holidays that never get taken, the juggling and spinning and rushing. We know the solution isnt longer hours at day care or hiring more babysitters or asking our husbands to stay home.

Because were the ones who want more timefor our children, our parents, our communities, ourselves.

Most educated women dont want to quit work altogether, even if they could. We want to use our brains and be productive professionally, but we dont want to keep tearing at the fabric of our families or our lives outside of the workplace. We need to slow down. We want to slow downto take a moment to thank the cashier at the grocery store, to indulge in banter with our neighbor, to occasionally handle ballet drop-off or make it to our book club. We want to be in our lives.

And frankly, we have the same desire for our work existence.

Wed like to spend our time at work engaged in meaningful and fulfi lling pursuits and grown-up interactions with colleagues

focused on results. Weve had enough of worrying about punch-ing a clock or ringing some macho bell to the tune of he-who-stays-in-the-offi ce-longest slays the biggest mammoth.

The situation is so dire that a majority of us will opt, when asked, for less responsibility. We will trade duties, a titleeven salary increasesfor more time, freedom, and harmony. We dont want to quitfar from itbut time has become our new introduc tion

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currency. Eighty-seven percent of the women in a recent study say theyd like a better balance, or as we put it, more sanity, at work. (And are the other 13 percent being honest?) Its an issue that now even has a champion in the White House. Its always guilt-fi lled, Michelle Obama told Claire in an interview on the campaign trail. Constant guilt surrounds working women and mothers no matter what you decide to do.

The First Lady wants to put a national spotlight on the frustrating balancing act that so many women face, and which she herself had to master.

The pride of their working-class family, both she and her brother excelled at Prince ton, and then she went on to Harvard Law School. Before her husband became president, Mrs. Obama had a thriving career, but since the birth of her daughters, shes made it plain she considers raising them her top priority.

And she backed that up in her job choicesopting for fl exibility over promotions. No matter what decision you make at any point in time, she concluded, with an understanding shake of her head, you feel like you should be doing more on the other end.