Cribb - Take Your Space

A how-to guide for women wanting to get ahead in any walk of life, drawing on the experiences of those whove done the hard yards. Helen Clark ONZ SSI PC

Read and be inspired. Read and take courage. Read and with renewed confidence, Take Your Space. Mavis Mullins MNZM

Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi

Engari, he toa takitini

My strength is not mine alone

but due to the strength of others

Take Your Space acknowledges the strength of all women who came before,

who stand today, and who will take one step forward tomorrow.

First published 2020

ISBN 978-1-99-003585-2

Jo Cribb and Rachel Petero, 2020

The authors assert their moral right to the work. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the authors.

Produced by: OneTree House Ltd

Cover Illustration: Vasanti Unka

Ebook by: www.CVDgraphics.nz

Edit: Anna Golden

Contents

Foreword

Y ou could sometimes be forgiven for thinking gender equality in New Zealand is well within reach. Three of our past five prime ministers have been female, as have our last two chief justices and three of our last six governors-general. Kiwi women reaching the peak of their chosen profession be it in the world of sport, fashion or literature is no longer front page news.

But just as we should rightly celebrate our success stories, we shouldnt ignore the fact that women are still too often underappreciated, underpaid and underrepresented. They still face significant barriers in many areas and entrenched societal practices mean they are also often expected to carry a larger domestic burden than men. The result? For all the progress of recent decades, too many women are still being held back from reaching their full potential.

No one knows this better than Jo Cribb and Rachel Petero. Both are former Women of Influence finalists an annual awards programme co-presented by Westpac NZ and Stuff that celebrates women who are driving change, and showing others how they can do the same. This is what makes Take Your Space such a tremendous resource it identifies issues women face in the workplace and offers practical help.

Drawing on their experience as managers, mentors, advocates and organisers, Jo and Rachel know the questions on the minds of Kiwi women. How do I stand up for myself in the workplace? Who should I look to for guidance? Which sacrifices are worth making and which arent? But they also have some answers, and in the following pages they share them in an engaging, no-nonsense way, with stories from a range of inspiring Kiwi women whove refused to be held back.

One of the guiding principles within Westpac NZ is that diversity of people leads to diversity of thought and diversity of ideas, and I know Jo and Rachel share that view. Were proud to support these trailblazing Kiwi women, and we hope their book will start many more Kiwi women on the path to success stories of their own.

Gina Dellabarca

Head of Consumer Banking and Wealth

Westpac New Zealand

INTRODUCTION

W e have much to celebrate women hold leadership positions across the globe with much lauded success. And yet, no country has or is likely to achieve gender equality anytime soon. More men named Mark or John head companies than women. Globally, for every dollar a man earns, women earn 77 cents. One in three women will experience violence in their own homes You know the stats.

Some of us have been able to go to Women in Leadership events, paying thousands of dollars for a ticket. We have a day or two off work and learn how we can succeed. But only certain women have access to this advantage. Only certain women are able to go to such events and to speak at them those who have jobs that will pay for them to go. For most of us, we will miss out on this opportunity to learn the secrets of other womens success.

Rather than throwing our hands up in despair or whining over a wine, we have decided to take the matter into our own hands. We dont think women need fixing. We think women are fabulous. But we know that it is not a level playing field out there. And times are tough, and likely to get tougher. Until things improve, until the playing field is level, we will need to work harder and smarter to succeed, and we are going to have to support each other and share what we have learnt to get ahead.

There are women succeeding on their own terms. We wanted to know how they are doing it. We wanted to know the practical steps they took, and the life and career hacks that worked. We wanted to collect all of this and then share it as widely as possible. You deserve this information, these secrets.

We also want all women to be able to access this information, and to celebrate successful women leaders in all their glorious diversity. By women, we mean all people who identify as women (this does not necessarily mean they were born girls). We know about ethnic pay gaps, about the lack of Indigenous women in decision-making roles, the missing voices of our disabled sisters and our side-lined LGBQT+ friends.

So think of this book as a group of women sharing a bottle of wine or a pot of tea together. In the spirit of generosity and openness, they share what they have learnt the hard way. Think about these women as women who want you to succeed. Think about them sharing their frustrations, anger, sadness, and laughing hard together with you.

Think of us as your cheerleaders...

Our aim is that you will get ideas about actions you can take to move forward and succeed at whatever success looks like for you. Our hope is that you have the tools and the confidence to ask for a pay rise tomorrow, or to get that job you really need.

We have a not-so-secret ambition: if all of us did some of the actions in this book, there would be a tidal wave of change.

Sharing secrets to get ahead

We started this project by researching the most common barriers to women getting ahead, and we identified eight. Each of these is a chapter.

Value Your Worth

We look at your attitudes towards money, how to work, how much you should really earn, and how to negotiate for a pay rise.

Take Your Space

We share tips on how to get heard in meetings, how to get your ideas taken seriously, and how to influence others.

Take Off

We share strategies to get promoted, appointed to new jobs or boards, and (if you are a business owner) funded and invested in.

Own Your Confidence

We focus on exactly what is says because keeping and building confidence in yourself can be an ongoing battle.

Make Work Work

We show you how to negotiate flexible and part-time work arrangements.

Stand Up for Yourself

We give you strategies to deal with harassment, sexism and racism.

Give and Take

We focus on how to negotiate sharing house and child-work.

Put Your Mask on First

We look at how you can take care of your mental and physical wellbeing.

We interviewed 14 women and, on your behalf, interrogated them for the secrets to their success.

We divided up the drafting (the power of working together) and in each chapter we start by sharing our experience. Then we share some stats and evidence. Some of you will know it already, if so please skip past this section. We will not be offended; in fact we celebrate how smart you are in using your time well. For other readers, this will be new data. We have summarised what we think are the most relevant facts. We have read all the books and boring journal articles so you dont have to. There are references as well if you want to learn even more.