Mary Amato - Drooling and Dangerous

For every reader who has written me a
letter saying, I cant wait for your next book.
Thanks for the encouragement.

M. A.

For my brother, Alec,
whose drool is very dangerous

E. L.

Text copyright 2006, 2017 by Mary Amato

Illustrations copyright 2006 by Ethan Long

All Rights Reserved

HOLIDAY HOUSE is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

www.holidayhouse.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-0-8234-3945-4 (ebook)w

ISBN 978-0-8234-3946-1 (ebook)r

ISBN 978-0-8234-3866-2 (hardcover)

I, Wilbur Riot, happened to be squeezing a giant cockroach between my fingers when I made an important new discovery.

What is the new discovery, you ask?

Good question. Ill tell you in a minute. But first, I have some questions for you: Are you bored? Do you like exciting and dangerous adventures?

Well, youve opened the right book. Were the Riot Brothers, and we cant wait to tell you about our exciting

Wait! I feel a Riot Brother saying coming on. Sayings come to me naturally because, for a fifth grader, I am wise beyond my years. Actually, I feel several sayings coming on.

1. Riots are the best medicine.

2. A riot a day keeps boredom away.

3. Dont have a cowhave a riot! (Unless you need the milk.)

I cant decide which is best. Please vote for the one you like by writing it down on a trillion-dollar bill and mailing it to me, Wilbur Riot. (Just kidding. Theres no such thing as a trillion-dollar billha-ha.)

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes! I was in my bedroom, making the cockroachs legs squirm by gently squeezing his shell. I have made an important new discovery, I announced to my brother.

Orville grabbed the cockroach out of my hand. You discovered a big bug in your bed? He tossed it into the air, and it landed on my head... thoink!

No! I snatched the cockroach out of my hair. I discovered the secret of a great game. The secret has to do with secrets. I stuffed the bug down Orvilles pajama shirt.

Orville wriggled until the cockroach hit the floor... thoink! He grabbed it and dropped it down my pajama pants. For a third grader, Orville is quick at catching bugs. Whats the secret, Wilbur? he asked.

The cockroach tumbled down my bare leg and fell out of my pants... thoink! Before Orville could grab the cockroach again, I smooshed it with my foot. Shmoink!

If the poor thing werent made of plastic, it would be dead by now.

The secret of a great game, I explained, is to keep the game a secret.

But if its a secret, how will I know how to play it? Orville asked.

We keep it a secret from grown-upsnot from each other. Lets make it a rule. Riot Brother Rule Number Eleven: Do not tell grown-ups how to play secret games.

Okie dokie. Whatll we play, Wilbur?

Lets invent a new dinner-table game! I picked up the cockroach. During dinner, we have to try to flip a bug across the table without Mom seeing it. The goal is to make it land in the other persons food. If my bug lands in your food, I get ten points.

Orvilles eyes lit up. And if my bug lands in your food, I get ten thousand points.

Ha-ha. Okay. We both get ten thousand points.

Orville grabbed the cockroach and aimed at my trash can... thoink!

Wait, I said. This is going to be too easy. We have to use smaller bugs. I rummaged around until I found our box of plastic bugs. Lets use these. And we cant just throw them. We have to use a spoon to catapult the little buggies across the table.

Theres only one problem, Wilbur.

Whats that?

A catapult is for cats, not for bugs! Orville laughed.

Not too shabby of a joke, Orville.

Thank you, Wilbur. Not too shabby of a game. Whatll we call it?

Bye-Bye Buggie? I suggested.

Thats it! Orville threw the bugs in the air and started dancing around the room singing, Bye-Bye Buggies. Dont get squashed on the ruggie. Then he stopped and frowned. Theres only one more problem, Wilbur, he said sadly.

Whats that?

We have to wait until dinner to play it, and we havent even eaten breakfast yet.

Theres a simple solution, little bro.

He grinned. Invent a time machine so that we can zoom forward?

Thats not a bad idea. But I was thinking we could play it at breakfast.

Orville patted me on the back. I like the way you think.

I bounced a beetle off his head. I like the way you thoink!

He bounced a beetle off my head. I like the way you thoink!

I grabbed a spider and threw it. Orville ducked, and at that very moment our mom walked in. The spider got her right between the eyes... thoink!

She screamed, What was that? She saw the spider on the ground and screamed again. For a plastic bug, it looked very real.

Perhaps I should take a moment here to say thank you to the Fake Bug Makers of the World for their talent and hard work. Great job, Bug Makers. Keep up the good work.

Back to the story. Mom squashed the spider. Thats when she realized that it was plastic. She sighed and stared at us with her annoyed face.

I looked at Orville. Im afraid something is bugging our dear mother, I said.

Orville cracked up.

Heres another one of my Riot Brother sayings: Theres nothing like going to breakfast with bugs hidden in your pocket to get the day off to a great start.

I got a bowl of cereal. Orville got grapefruit and a piece of peanut butter toast. We brought our breakfast to the table, and Mom poured us each a glass of orange juice. She sat down with her tea and newspaper.

One of the reasons for my great success in life is that I do not waste time sitting around, wondering what to do. When I see an opportunity, I go for it. So when Mom opened her newspaper, I reached in my pocket and