Table of Contents
For expectant mothers everywhere, with joy for your new family
Foreword
Part of my job as a family doctor is to help women through their pregnancies and births. But I am first a woman and mother, and only then a doctor.
I have always loved being at a birth. I remember the first birth I witnessed as a medical student. It was a teenaged couple and they kissed the entire time. The oxytocin was flowing and the baby birthed easily. I felt like we were all intruding on something very sacred, very precious, and very private. Not many births throughout my career have been so passionate and easy. I have also seen how things can go bad. I see how women too often arent interested in taking the power to birth their own babies. I have seen how occasionally it really is so important to have doctors and surgeons around. But only occasionally.
Over the last twelve years of being around the medical field and birth (both as a medical student, a resident, and now as a family doctor), I have thought about the human birth puzzle a lot! Are we willing to give away the power of our births to prevent any possible danger from this natural process? Are we really willing to turn over one set of risks for another? Are we willing simply to give up the responsibility and the accomplishment to someone else? I hope not.
I believe strongly in prenatal care and having a trained birth attendant at every birthbe it a traditional birth attendant (TBA), a midwife, or a doctor. I believe in cesarean when it is truly needed. I believe in certain situations women require medical expertise. When people are sick, they need a doctor.
I dont believe in the vast majority of low-risk healthy women being afraid of the amazing things their bodies can do and therefore opting to have someone else get the baby out. Too many doctors are too willing to take that responsibility from women when it isnt medically needed. It sets up a dangerous situation. If you help people who dont really need help, they are bound to blame you if things dont go well.
Being present and empowering women through birth is different than directing the process. You can even actively manage certain aspects of birth without intervening unnecessarily. People, and providers, dont feel like they are doing anything unless they are physically in motion. But giving high vibration and complete attention, and being a witness, can often be the only support a laboring woman needs.
And that brings me to my own birth. I knew I wanted a natural birthdefined for me as no hospital, no pain medication, and as little medical help as possible. I chose a certified nurse midwife (CNM) who had a birth center outside of Philadelphia, Barbara DiMato. She did birth center births and homebirths. She seemed like a smart cookie and I liked her midwifery partner, too. I enjoyed my prenatal visits with her where I weighed myself and dipped my own urine. I felt in charge of my pregnancy and supported. I was still low risk at the end of my prenatal care, and we agreed I was a good candidate for a homebirth. She started to prepare me mentally for how I might handle the pain of my birth process at home. I decided on Hypnobirthing.
It was a Thursday and I was supposed to take Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) in downtown Philadelphia the day I felt my waters start to leak out. I cancelled. I started to contract that night and by Friday I was in active labor. I was in and out of the bathtubI wasnt interested in a full waterbirth but the warm water was so helpful during my strong contractions. My neighbor Michelle had birthed two babies at home herself and she acted as my doula. She had also helped a couple other friends at their birthstruly an experienced birth support person! Her hands felt like healing salve on my body. Her touch was magical. I remember eating popsicles and talking with friends all day between contractions. I had a lot of people at my birthsome that had planned to come and some that just happened to call, heard I was in labor, so packed up a bag and started driving. I had nine women friends and my husband all there in my home supporting my birth.
By Saturday evening I was 8 centimeters, so my midwife and her nurse came to my home. After my midwife had spent several hours with me and I had not changed my cervix, she offered to break my forebag. I agreed and after that I felt the babys head come down hard on my pelvic bones. I had a vision of opening a giant door to let a being from another world slip into reality. I needed to push! It felt so incredible to push! I pushed for what seemed like a long time. It felt somewhere between having to have a giant poop and an orgasmnot a bad feeling at all.
Then my baby was crowning and I felt some pain that was sharp and then my Leili slipped out and I grabbed her up onto my naked belly. She looked like a wilted purple iris and then she cried a little and opened her eyes. She became bubble-gum pink and she was quiet and thoughtful looking. I knew she was okay and I thought, Oh my God, look what Ive done! I felt like a superhero. I felt the power of the universe move through me and there was complete stillness and everyone was speaking but their words had deeper meaning than what they were saying. The gathering of all the souls at my daughters birth made me weep.
I stayed in a blissful state for many days and weeks. It was one of the most amazing experiences in my lifecertainly the most amazing until that point. I grew up in that moment and I realized I was ready to be a motherto take the role of mother to my baby and the role of mother in society. This birth it was important to me and I did it. I had many helpers but at the moment that most mattered, only I could do the work.
I may not have the birth story that calls to your heartbut that is why you must create your own! I may not agree with every aspect of this book as a doctor or as a womanbut I do agree with the idea that each woman needs to find her own way, her own story. Women should have choices about how they birth their babies, and I feel strongly that a natural birth can be a mystical and life-changing experience for many.
I dont ever want to take power away from the women I help to birth their babies. I believe there are many good providers who feel the sameboth midwives and doctors. I also think that when women in society are not oppressed and disempowered they will birth better and a more enlightened planet will be had by all! So if you intend to have a natural birth, let all your fears go, do whatever it takes, and most of all believe that it can happen.
Jennifer Phillips, M.D., May 2009
Introduction
How wonderful youre having a baby! Maybe this is your first birth, and you want to experience the fullness of birthingthe bringing of new life into the world. It is one of the most powerful and empowering experiences a woman can have. Birth is also the most natural and amazing of experiences, and your body is uniquely suited for and perfectly capable of it.
You have so many more choices than what to pack in your overnight bag for that clichd mad dash to the hospital! There need notand should not, for most womeneven be a mad dash to anywhere. When you tune in to your body and the changes that take place to accommodate the new life growing within you, you realize that you really are designed to do thisand you dont need someone else telling you how to breathe and when to push. Exploring the full range of all your birthing options can only make you more confident as you look forward to the happy day when you welcome your baby into your armsand being confident is the key to having your best possible birth. Theres everything to celebrate and nothing to fear about birth, yet many myths and misunderstandings shroud the process of birth. In writing this book, its our desire to cut through the misinformation and present the facts so you feel confident and strong in your ability to have a natural birth and to be fully aware and participate in the intensity of your bodys ultimate effort.
