Pamela Peeke - Body-for-Life for Women: A Womans Plan for Physical and Mental Transformation

Preface

If I could do it, any woman can. In fact, youll come to see that theres nothing,nothing, you cant do, once you believe that you can.

By Pamela Hickerson

How does a 47-year-old woman who was just handed her divorce papers, with 30 pounds to lose and no self-esteem, turn her life around?

At that time in my life, I would have said, Dont ask me. I had just walked away from a 10-year marriage to a handsome, successful lawyer. So saddened by my failure to please him, I even let him handle the divorce. I did not want anything. All I wanted was your love, I had told him, which was the one thing he seemed unable to give.

Its not that he was a bad guy. We were just completely mismatched. During the entire marriage, I lived with a man who was never attracted to me, and my weight became a problem. Living in that loveless marriage, we shared an active social life with fascinating friends but not much else. I wanted children; he did not. We both spent most of our lives working on our careers, never on our relationship. I was depressed and very lonely. And, well, we all know what women do when they are depressed, lonely, bored, or angry, dont we? We eat, trying to satisfy that empty place inside. As I gained more weight, I felt less and less attractive.

After the divorce, I moved into a beat-up mobile home a couple of miles from the multimillion-dollar home overlooking the ocean in Malibu that we had shared together. I remember thinking about my former life, my career in TV production, and wondering, I used to be a successwhat happened? Now my only comfort was a large pizza and a bottle of fine wine, which I could polish off while watching a movie at home. I still remember those late-night visits to the refrigeratoreating out of the gallon ice cream container one spoonful at a time, and why put the chocolate syrup on my ice cream when I could squirt it directly into my mouth? The same for whipped cream, so why not take the whole can to the couch?

At the time of the divorce, I was carrying 157 pounds on my 5-foot 6-inch body. Back in high school, I was a cheerleader and loved gymnastics. How did I get so out of touch with my body? How did I let myself get so fat? Id tried to get into shape off and on, mostly to get my husbands attention and approval. Id see a perfect body running on the beach and think, If only I looked like her, hed love me.

A funny game the mind plays on you. I was focused only on my exterior. It never occurred to me to think more deeply about the causes of my unhappiness. Its not surprising that I always sabotaged my attempts to lose weight.

And now I was alone. For the first 6 months after the divorce, I was in a very dark place. All I did was work and come home to my little mobile home and eat. I locked myself away and did not want to join the life of the living. I felt so depressed and defeated. I had made all the wrong choices in my life, and now, as I approached 50 years old, there seemed to be no hope for a happy future.

The one bright spot in my life was Paul, who had moved into the mobile home next to me. He was an unlikely frienda guy, 10 years younger than me, and a really handsome Hawaiian who loved the ocean and surfed whenever he had the chance. He, too, had just gone through a difficult divorce and seemed to understand my pain. He helped me repair my mobile home, and in the process, we became dear friends. His children lived with him half the time, and when they were with him, we all played on the beach together. I adored them.

During this time, a girlfriend told me about the Challenge. She was one of those womenthe ones who already have perfect bodies but think theyre fat. She said to me, Pam, Im going to do this Body-for-LIFE. Do you want to do it with me?

I had just turned 47 and felt adriftno energy, no muscle tone, no spark for life. Up to this point, I had never finished anything Id ever started. I needed something to ignite me. I needed this Challenge. I decided to give it all I had and not let anything get in my way.

A little embarrassed, I asked Paul if he would take my before picture. As he snapped away, he told me I looked great already, which made me feel a little better.

Then I got the pictures back. Yikes!

I was very disciplined with the diet part of the Challengeyes, me, the emotional eater. I hit the gym at the same time every night, exactly when all the beautiful people in southern California work out to be seen and hook up with other beautiful people. I wore big, sloppy T-shirts and a baseball cap and put on my headset so I wouldnt have to talk to anyone. I really didnt care what anyone thought of me. I was there for myself.