Eugene Walker - Get Him Sprung!: A Womans Guide to Getting a Great Guy and Keeping Him Forever!

S ometimes it seems impossible to get certain men to commit to a serious relationship. Whether you think its because of distracting video games, the fear of losing some freedom, the possibilities of finding another partner, or the pressure that comes with a committed relationship, there is a way to get him to make you his one and only.

First, it is important to know that communication is key. It does not matter if you are trying to get him to commit or figuring out what he really wants for dinner, a lack of effective communication will cause problems in many aspects of your lives and is at the root of many seemingly unrelated problems.

With that in mind, one of the first things you need to do is find out exactly what commitment means to him. Everyone has their own experiences and thoughts on different aspects of their lives and what specific words and phrases mean to them. Even seemingly, well-defined terms like commitment can hold subtle or drastically alternate meanings to different people. Terms matter.

There are people who refuse to get married because of what the word marriage means to them personally, but those same people will engage in a committed, life-long relationship with another person.

The word commitment may have the same negative meaning for your partner as it marriage does to others, so try to understand and be understanding of what it means to your man.

In addition, you need to express what commitment means to you. You may find it does not hold the same meaning to him. Take the time to align your definitions and make it a word that is both meaningful and understandable to both of you. If he doesnt know what hes getting into, he most likely will not want to do it.

Chances are he cannot read your mind. While he may have an understanding of what commitment means to him, he will only have a guess as to what it means to you.

Chances are he cannot read your mind. While he may have an understanding of what commitment means to him, he will only have a guess as to what it means to you.

That guess could be inaccurate and could be the reason behind his reluctance to commit. Communicate and make sure you know what he wants and he knows what you want.

Exchange the meaning of the word commitment in a more casual setting. Do not discuss it over a fancy dinner with wine and steaks. Go out and talk about it over a pizza and beer (or soda if you dont drink).

Make it inviting. Make sure to do it at a neutral location. Dont do it at your place or his place, even if you two are comfortable being in each others space.

Go to a local restaurant that you two havent tried before or that doesnt hold a special meaning to either of you. If one person is more familiar or dominant in a specific location, the other may get a creeping feeling of being overwhelmed or powerless.

If your man is in a space he is too comfortable in, he might feel threatened by the changing dynamics and feel a need to defend his territory. You do not want to wind up in either scenario.

If you do not want to do it in public, find a private place in a public venue. Find a quiet corner of a park during a nice day or discuss it on a leisurely walk. You still want the location be neutral.

As a way to subtly influence him to warm up to the idea of commitment, pizza really is the best choice. Why? Because you share a pizza. You want him to feel comfortable doing something openly and subtly intimate with you.

If you both have a burger, there is a subtle separation. If you cannot eat pizza, pick something that you know he will also enjoy that you two can share. Regardless of your food choice, try and follow all the ideas listed above.

When he expresses something you think is strange or you do not understand, do not scoff or laugh at him. When vocalizing certain ideas, we often see the error in our thoughts, and he may become embarrassed.

Instead, ask why he thinks that. Ask him what it means to him. The history of the reasons we believe things can help us understand what we truly believe, what we should change about ourselves, and what we should never give up.

But dont let him do all the talking. Express what commitment means to you. When you explain yourself, do not say, Commitment means we wont see other people. That is only one part of what commitment means to you.

There is so much more, and it is your duty to figure out what it means to you and be able to express yourself before you ask him to do the same.

Chances are, it will take you some time to really understand what commitment means to you, so with that in mind, dont expect him to have the perfect definition of commitment when you first ask him about it. Let him discuss it, and then give him some time to think about it if that is what he wants or needs.

For some people, you may need to have this conversation several times if one of you, especially him, needs to think about what commitment means personally. That is fine, but here is a tip: Rather than dropping it on him again, set up a time to discuss it again.

Give him a week, maybe two, whatever you two agree upon. Tell him you will not bring it up before that, but mention that if he wants to bring it up before then, that is fine.

This way, he is not worried that you will spring the question on him, but it gives him a deadline to consider what he needs to. With a deadline in place, you will not have to worry if and when you should bring it up.

Take that time to relax. Try not to stress about what he may or may not say when the day comes. You can also use this time to think more about yourself and your own thoughts on the subject.

And when the day to revisit this conversation comes, make sure to once again chose a neutral location. You can probably even use the same place, assuming you both enjoyed it. As before, keep it casual.

The more casual the situation is the less pressure you place on him and yourself. You want his and your thoughts to revolve around what you two really want out of the situation.

So you went and got pizza, you shared what commitment means to you, he shared what commitment means to him, you both came to an understanding on what it would mean for both of you, and he still hasnt committed. Now what?

Let him know what not being committed means to you personally. Staying in some kind of commitment limbo may not be such a bad thing for him, but expressing that it is troubling to you may get him to stop thinking about it as a viable place to remain.

He needs to know what it means to you. In addition, some people are forgetful. Be willing to remind him of this once or twice. Any more than that and you may have a different problem.

Find subtle ways to show him that a committed relationship can be beneficial to both him and you. Try things like cooking a meal together and cleaning it up together.

Try partaking in a small project together that interests you both. Do a few things that you two would do as a committed couple that are not out of place for a date.

Use positive reinforcement. If he brings it up, show him how happy that makes you. Sometimes it is difficult for a man to express himself, so giving him a small reward can help him understand you are not going to tear him down when he gets emotional or serious.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of pressure on men to withhold their true feelings sometimes. Showing that you appreciate him opening up can get him to do it more.

If he is not seeing eye to eye with you on what a committed relationship between you two would look like, you may need to compromise. Find some middle ground you can both agree upon.