Michelle Willingham - Pleasured by the Viking

Glen Ocham, Ireland
1181

Twilight descended, casting shadows upon the cashel in a fading veil of gray. It was a spring night of celebration, a time when the Irish gave thanks for their prosperity. But for Auder Reilly, it was the beginning of the end.

Her skin was frigid, for the life shed known was slipping away, like water from between her fingertips. In two days, she would travel north to the Norman settlement governed by Lord Miles de Corlaine, Baron of Maraloch, to be his bride.

The very idea of surrendering herself to the Norman made her shudder. Aye, she would protect the lives of her kinsmen, by forging this alliance. They would be safe from invasion, their lands joined together. And Lord Maraloch was a wealthy man who could give her everything she would ever need.

But that wasnt the reason shed agreed to marry him.

Auders gaze settled upon her mother, who was sitting apart from the other women. Halma Reillys thin face held a serene expression, but there was pain and loneliness beneath it. The shadow of humiliation from her husbands misdeeds surrounded her still.

Its not your fault, Auder wanted to tell her mother. You dont deserve to suffer for what Father did.

She wanted to see her mother laughing again with friends. She wanted her to have a reason to lift her head up, knowing that her daughter had created peace where there had been a threat. And for that reason, shed agreed to the marriage.

Halma had protected her in so many ways. Could she do less for her mother?

Auder crossed the cashel until she sat beside Halma. The matrons green eyes stared at the others who were feasting and gossiping. You havent touched your food.

Im not hungry. Halma patted her hand. Concern lined her face, and she added, Auder, Im not so sure you should marry this baron. We dont really know the man.

It was my choice, Mother, Auder pronounced. Ive agreed to accept the honor. Though she tried to summon a smile, she couldnt. Right now, she felt as though she were disappearing from her own body.

Youre a beautiful woman, her mother said, touching Auders cheek. You could have your choice of any man here. Why would you give that up?

For you, she wanted to say. To take away the shame youre feeling right now. To give you a reason to be proud again.

None of the men here interest me, she lied. And dont you believe the lives of our clan members are more important than my personal feelings?

You have the choice to say no, Halma said. No one will force you into this marriage. Her face grew tight with worry. Or his bed.

A shiver crossed over Auder at the thought of submitting to the Norman. She was not a virgin, but the one time in her life shed taken a lover, it had not been pleasant. Something to be endured rather than enjoyed. Afterwards, the man had left her without speaking, and she was left to wonder what shed done wrong.

Since that time, shed held herself apart from all men. Though she was never impolite, shed made it clear that she had no interest in any of them. But instead of making them keep their distance, it only made matters worse. The men tried to compete for her affections, each believing that he was man enough to wear her resistance down.

Im feeling tired, her mother said, rising from the bench. I think Ill go and rest for a while. Her face was bright with embarrassment, as though she didnt want to discuss Auders impending marriage any further.

When Halma had gone, Auders mood dimmed further. She didnt feel like celebrating, not when she had only two days left. In dismay, she stared down at her hands. They were stained from madder root, not at all a ladys hands. The markings were a part of her, a visible sign of her love of dyeing cloth. Women from all over the region traveled to bring her their lengths of wool and linen. It filled her with pride to see women and men wearing the rich crimsons, emeralds and saffrons.

If she wed the Norman, she suspected she would have to give it up. Ladies of noble birth did not soil their hands with common labor. Auder closed her eyes, wondering if she could convince her husband to let her continue her craft.

In the distance, she saw the chieftains wife Morren struggling with a basket. Auder pushed her way past the others, making her way towards the pregnant woman. Morren adored plants nearly as much as she did, and although shed known the woman all her life, they had become closer friends over the past few months.

Auder took the basket from Morren and walked alongside her. Tired?

A little, Morren admitted. Ill be glad when this child is born, near the end of summer. She risked a glance at her husband, who was standing on the opposite side of the cashel with several of their clansmen. Trahern is more afraid of the birth than I am.

Morren settled to rest upon a bench and motioned Auder to sit with her, her gaze turning serious. Auder, you should knowthe Norman soldiers are patrolling our lands again. Trahern has posted sentries, but I dont know their intent.

A coldness settled within her stomach, and Auder veiled her fear. Perhaps theyve come to escort me to my marriage. Looking into the other womans eyes, Auder tried to show a courage she didnt feel. Ill go with them if I must.

Morren didnt smile. Until we know why theyre here, I dont want you to be alone at any moment. She looked around and caught sight of Gunnar Dalrata, beckoning him to join them.

Tall, with sun-darkened blond hair and cloudy gray eyes, Gunnar was one of the few men Auder felt comfortable aroundnamely because theyd been friends since four summers ago, when shed visited her mothers Norse family. Although hed been handsome even then, not once had he shown her any interest. It was no wonder, since shed been inches shorter and hadnt developed as a woman.

But even after shed arrived home, hed kept his distance, not speaking to her at all. Shed caught him watching her from time to time, but it was as if their friendship had disappeared. Though it bothered her, she supposed his actions were out of respect for Clr Reilly, whom hed been courting.