Dawn Atkin - My Hip Goddess: A Midlife Awakening to the Wild Feminine Within

To find out more about this book,
including the paperback edition, please visit:
www.vividpublishing.com.au/myhipgoddess Copyright 2018 Dawn Atkin ISBN: 978-1-925846-45-4 (ebook edition)
Published by Vivid Publishing
P.O. Box 948, Fremantle
Western Australia 6959
www.vividpublishing.com.au Conversion and distribution by Fontaine Publishing Group
www.fontaine.com.au Version 1.0. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, printing, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. Chapters Introduction There is not one single goddess name in all the pages. You already know them.

The contemporary and the ancient, their names and their origins are embedded in your cells. Perhaps it is a creative calling or yearning that beckons you. Perhaps it is a distant and old drumbeat that needs to be re-heard and revealed. Perhaps it is the archetypal challenges that are begging you to be felt and acknowledged. Perhaps you are burying the wretched inner-self in fear of what it may reveal. And what of the provocative one, or the sultry one, or the joyous one? Where are you hiding her in your body? You will know the woman in this story.

She might be you. Arriving in pain at a major transition point in her life, the children have left the nest, her body is aching, her mental state is quavering, her domestic life-partner, wife-husband relationship is changing. She invites you to jump into the bounty of fiction, allow the occasional real-life embellishment, and sip the inspiration that comes from introspective ruminations and desperation. This woman struggles with osteoarthritis in a very deteriorated hip. Oh damn! The way pain folds and closes her life in; self-isolation and withdrawal became her medicine. Physical, mental and emotional pain do not operate in isolation.

You know this. The Goddess energy knows this. This is her territory. It is her ultimate magic and wisdom. Its no wonder she demands that we have a conversation. Yes, its an interesting call out.

You may have been smirking at the whole modern goddess movement for a while. Some hidden resistance, a mature scoff at the over-done and capitalist commodification of yet another sacred zone. One night as I lay aching in bed and waiting for sleep to carry me away I asked, anyone or anything that could possibly be listening, for something juicy to write. Actually, I begged and cried. Give me something that I can get stuck into that will take me away from this inner frustration, nagging, frustrating physical pain and darkening mental landscape. Anything. Come on. Come on.

Bring it on. And this little story replied. I hope it makes sense to you or has some meaningful or insightful treasures buried in its lines and rhymes, for once you read this story it is no longer mine; it becomes yours. Always, in all ways, with Love Dawn In the Beginning Write in the Goddess. Write in the Goddess in all her warmth and charm. Write in the Goddess in all her wrath and anger.

Write in the Goddess in all her gowns and veils. Write in the Goddess and reveal reveal thyself. I screamed in my sleep. I slanted my eyes and averted my gaze. Oh, for fucks sake. Give me something meaty that matters, thats real.

I shirked her message and let the goddess snake away in a hessian sack at my feet. She wanted to bite me, release her venom and poison my doubt and resistance out of existence. Her wreathing mass hissed, hissed, hissed in the sack. Yanking at the edges she coiled her tail, and her tale, in desperation. What is this goddess then? I inquired. Where is your gentleness and meek maternal submission? Burned at the stake.

Hunted in the night. Shackled in the dark. Hidden from sight. Beware my power. Beware my bite. Let me out.

Let me bite. Let me fight for what is right. Release me from your frightened, black and endless night. Fight for me. Fight with me. Hold me high.

Reveal me to the sun-filled light. Hold my head up to view the sky. Be big. Be bright. Yes, come alive. Release the strive.

Glide your knife through the curtain of moss that dims your sight. Believe. Believe you have the right to be a Goddess (yes capital G) in all her thunderous, fearless beauty. Release. Release. Goddess. Goddess. Goddess.

Goddess now Be. Let the power of the Goddess wake you at night. Let the power of the Goddess step into your life. Let the power of the Goddess reveal your desire. Embrace me. Cherish me.

Set me free. Lift my head. Let me play. Let me breathe in sadness and release it some way. Let my whimsy turn warrior. Let my lightness turn strong.

Let my strength be in the moments you feel you are wronged. Take all of me into every moment of every day. Let the Goddess awake you as you bow to pray or yearn or plead for a sign. Wear the crown of the Goddess to lighten your frown. Wear the knowing of the feminine, the wisdom of blend. Be the furnace of a future that begins as this day ends.

Let me awaken you in your darker hours. Let me whisper you through the many layers Of your latent and hiding magical powers. Write Me, She Said Write in the goddess. Write me the goddess. Write me. The Goddess.

So, what is, Write me. The Goddess, in my life? Where is it that I am this powerful, worthy one? And where is it that I let her cower: undercover, hiding, withdrawn and all forlorn? How can I integrate the Goddess power into my daily life? How can I be her all of the time? How can I remember her all of the time? How can I bring forth all of her all of the time? If there is a Goddess within me, then she feels depleted, struggling and alone. Unclear, yet clear. Clear of the past unclear of the future. Another Goddess precipice beckons as my Mother-role transitions into the unknown. What do I need to know? Do I need to understand the vacuous emptiness in this now empty nest? I can feel her.

She is restless. I can feel her wriggling about on the inside. Flicking her robes, tugging at tendons, banging on my chest. So, I take a deep breath and let it rest. And I take another Rise. Rise . Rise .

These are the only words I can hear her say. Make sense of the nonsense and rise up today. So, I retreat. I am uncertain. Again! Resisting. Again! Refusing to hear what is trying to be heard.

Again! I am afraid of making the wrong choices. I am afraid of not following through. I am afraid of loneliness and growing old. I am afraid of some renewed spark not taking hold and fanning the light of love and enthusiasm into my life. I am afraid of death as an early arrival. I am afraid of the urge for a creative anti-status quo revival.

I am afraid that I read too much shit. I am afraid that I dont know what to do with it. I am sick of this. I am sick. And I call out Oh, Goddess if this is real then let your potions ease my soul, let my flickering light grow once again bold. Soften me strong.

Bless me whole. The BIG Reveal