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Anna Lefler - The Chicktionary: From A-line to Z-snap, the words every woman should know

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Anna Lefler The Chicktionary: From A-line to Z-snap, the words every woman should know
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The Chicktionary: From A-line to Z-snap, the words every woman should know: summary, description and annotation

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Youre all over the definitions of low lights, ruching, and a tankini. But can you spot a Mrs. Potato Head when you see one?

Thats where The Chicktionary comes in. With the help of Anna Lefler and her collection of 450+ must-know words and phrases, youll be in the know when faced with terms like Aberzombie, Bandeau, George Glass, and Puma.

So whether you are dealing with a Residual Girlfriend, diagnose yourself with a bad case of Basset Knees, or need to go on a Briet, youll be prepared for all that comes your way. At the very least, this book will serve as a delightful reminder that everyone has a skeleton in her closet--right next to her fat pants.

Anna Lefler: author's other books


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Praise for Anna Lefler and The Chicktionary

I have to tell you that Anna Leflers The Chicktionary is pure genius. I always knew she was funny but the definitions you will find in this must-read guide to the way women speak are sure to make you laugh until you pee.

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, comedian and author of Sippy Cups Are Not
for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom

Anna Lefler is an American original. She isnt merely blazingly smart and achingly funny. Shes also so utterly sympatico with what women think and how women talk that years from now sociologists will be consulting The Chicktionary as the only true and tested source on the challenging but wholly worthy subject. The English language has a true friend in Anna. So, of course, do women.

Beth Kephart, National Book Award Finalist and author of thirteen books,
both fiction and nonfiction including, most recently, You Are My Only

Before reading Anna Leflers book, I had no idea that the word herpes-ish even existed. Now I cant stop using it. This book is guaranteed to be passed around to all your friends. Its totally herpes-ish. But in a good way.

Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess and author of the forthcoming Lets Pretend
This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir from Amy Einhorn Books

The Chicktionary From A-line to Z-snap the words every woman should know - image 1

The

CHICK tionary

From A-Line to Z-Snap, the Words
Every Woman Should Know

The Chicktionary From A-line to Z-snap the words every woman should know - image 2

INCLUDES 450+ WORDS NO WOMAN CAN LIVE WITHOUT!

ANNA LEFLER

The Chicktionary From A-line to Z-snap the words every woman should know - image 3

For Dan, Madison, and Henry
And for women everywhere

Introduction

It has been said that women and men come from two different planets. This theory would explain a lot, beginning with the language barrier. For eons, the two sexes have sat across from each other at the negotiating table like haggard diplomats, hammering out rudimentary common meaning between two fundamentally different methods of communication. As earnest as these efforts are, sometimes we cant help but feel weve fallen into the stereotypical tourist mindset, believing that all will be understood if we speak loudly and sloooowly.

In the meantime, women have created a complex and nuanced lexicon of their own, one that is effortlessly understood by all females and which conveysthrough context, subtext and, occasionally, pretextthe ever-changing and largely annoying experience of being a contemporary earth woman. Like a secret handshake among lodge members, female dialect conveys volumes of unspoken meaning requiring no explanation, thus saving valuable conversation time that would be better spent critiquing someones acid-washed jeggings.

For instance: Youre considering cutting your own bangs? To the untrained ear, this is small talk, a throwaway comment. We, however, hear this as the distress call it is and have our purses and car keys in hand before youve finished your sentence.

And thats just the beginning.

Your new bra showcases your back fat? Youre experiencing man drought, orworseyour new relationship is laced with residual girlfriend? Troublesome T-zone? Depressed about your cankles? We get it.

Thats not to say the female vernacular can be picked up overnight. For the non-native speakerthe one who thinks an espadrille is something found in a toolboxfluency may come only after years of study. Sure, youll experience frustrations along the way as you struggle to understand the subtle shadings between a cougar and a puma, but youll enjoy deeply rewarding moments as well, like when you explain to your coworkers over fried potato skins the significant difference between secondary virginity and revirginization. For those seeking immersion in and understanding of the not-so-secret language of women, we hope you will come to think of The Chicktionary not only as a reference book soon to grace the shelves of Americas finer vocational schools, but as your personal Rosetta Stone.

Far from being simply a phrase book for the male adventurer hoping to speak the lingo to the female locals, The Chicktionary is a critical text for women as well. For those seeking an efficient term to replace the cumbersome that woman your jerk of a daddy deserted us for (we suggest stepwife), or girlfriends looking to settle an argument regarding pubic topiary and the difference between the Sphinx and the landing strip, The Chicktionary stands ready to serve as the soon-to-be-dog-eared compendium of choice.

Whether you just got a Brazilian blowout at the salon, or you think thats something that happens to a rental car in Rio, there is much to be learned about the society of womennot to mention society at largeby taking a look at the feminine terminology that erupts and endures over time. In this easy-to-use volume (which has been alphabetized for convenience and freshness), you will find everyday words with their underlying meanings disclosed, as well as examples of contemporary female patois that you will no doubt be passing off as your own by dinnertime.

Beyond a mere collection of words and phrases, however, The Chicktionary is above all a celebration of a rich linguistic tapestry that is as familiar and comforting as your fat pants.

A

A-lineadjective

This term describes a skirt, dress, or similar garment whose silhouette flares out from the waist, becoming wider toward the hem and creating a shape that resembles both the letter A and a teepee, although, for some reason, the term teepee-line never caught on. Fitted at the waist and relaxed everywhere else, the A-line silhouette is both flattering to most figures and comfortable to wear. More importantly, however, the A-line will not divulge your figure flaws no matter how much it is waterboarded, unlike other garments that will happily sell your secrets all over town (see also: pencil skirt).

Aberzombie, noun

Derived from the name of the popular clothing stores, Aberzombie refers to any of the nation of plaid shirt-and-tank-top-wearing undead that can be seen staggering through the food courts of malls across America. Chillingly uniform in their short-shorts and matching expressions of disdain, the Aberzombies are young, camera-ready, and intent on finding WiFi. Note: if an Aberzombie does not respond to your attempts at conversation, it may be that she is suffering from short-term hearing loss having just lurched out of one of the stores during a deafening Willow Smith song.

Acrylic Nails, noun

Artificial fingernails made of activated acrylic powder that are applied on top of natural nails and, if done correctly, are tough enough to pull the screws right out of a fence. Acrylic nails are applied and maintained by a professional (see also: fill) and, depending on this persons skill level, the end result can vary in appearance from deceptively natural to aggressively mutant. Although the acrylic nails themselves are extremely durable, the harshness of the chemical application process takes a significant toll on the natural nails underneath and, once the acrylics are removed, leaves said nails about as sturdy as a dragonflys wings.

Aftershave, noun

Used interchangeably with the term mens cologne, aftershave is governed by the same rules as womens cologne when it comes to the quantity applied. These rules can be summed up in the following easy-to-remember phrase: Less is more and more is just wrong. Women are divided on mens wearing of cologne. While some find it alluring, others feel it reflects a tendency toward vanity that they find off-putting. There are also women who prefer wearing mens cologne to womens, which confuses everyone in the supermarket checkout line.

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