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Contents
Context
In the years before the release of Love Warrior , Glennon Doyle Melton found success and fame writing about her family, her personal struggles, and her marriage. Her blog, Momastery, was getting millions of hits every week, while her debut book, Carry On, Warrior , was a New York Times bestseller before it even hit bookstore shelves. But then, just weeks before leaving for her first-ever book tour, Meltons life as she knew it fell apart: Her husband, Craig, revealed his infidelity. At the time, Melton made a vague announcement about her separation from her husband via a post on Momastery; now, with Love Warrior , Melton shares how her marriage and her sense of self broke apartand how she put them back together.
Published in November 2016, Love Warrior quickly found a readership far beyond Momastery fans: Oprah chose the memoir for Oprahs Book Club 2.0, and Love Warrior ultimately rose to the number-one spot on the New York Times bestseller list. Love Warrior chronicles both Meltons marriage and her quest for self-realization. As Melton examines the social, emotional, and spiritual factors that informed her identity and her relationships, the memoir touches on topics as varied as alcoholism, feminism, motherhood, sex, friendship, writing, and Christianity. Drawing universal wisdom from specific experiences, Melton takes her readers on a journey of healing and grace.
Overview
When does a marriage begin? At twenty-five, Glennon Doylelike many womenassumed that her marriage began on her wedding day, the day she left her old self behind for a new life alongside her husband, Craig Melton. But after three children and years of marriage, in one shattering moment, Glennon learns that her new life is not as it seemed: Craig confesses to having one-night stands throughout their marriage. This devastating news starts Glennon on a painful but transformative journey. She discovers that her marriage did not begin on her wedding day at allrather, its roots lay in her childhood, in her youthful struggles with bulimia and alcoholism, and in her preconceptions about what it means to be a woman. Glennons past has taught her that crisis contains within it an opportunity for growth. Love Warrior is the story of Glennon Doyle Meltons journey from heartbreak to healing, from pain to a renewed understanding of herself and her husband.
In Part One, Glennon reflects on the true origins of her marriage: her childhood. From the age of ten through her teenage years, Glennon struggled with bulimia and a sense of inadequacy, problems that led to a stint in a mental hospital during her senior year of high school. To get through her adolescence and young adulthood, she repressed her sadness and created a representative, a version of herself who followed all the rules of being a girl: be pretty, be cool, be thin, dont need too much. This facade collapses by the time she is in her twentiesand her heavy drinking spirals into serious alcoholism. After a first pregnancy by Craig, her boyfriend at the time, and an abortion, Glennon sees her second pregnancy as an invitation from God to get sober and start fresh. She seeks help, stays sober, and marries Craigthough even in her marriage, Glennon still feels lonely.
Part Two covers the middle and crisis years of Glennons marriage to Craig. She and Craig communicate in different ways: She bonds through conversation, while he bonds through sex. Glennon builds a successful writing career and raises their three children. She and Craig have been married for years, but they are distant in many ways. When Glennon finds pornography on the family computer (after asking Craig to never bring it into their home), he agrees to seek help. Then, when she attends therapy with him one day, Craig admits that he has been unfaithful to her. Glennon, reeling, grapples with the excruciating realities of her marriage.
In Part Three, Glennon pieces her sense of identity back together and finds a path to healing. She faces her pain head-on, drawing richness from her grief. With exercise, reflection, and therapy, she forges a new connection to her body and, eventually, to sex. Meanwhile, Craig works on his verbal communication skills and tries to converse with Glennon in a way he was never able to before. As a couple, they commit to unlearning what they thought they knew about masculinity, femininity, and marriage; finally, after thirteen years of marriage, they learn how to fall in love.
Summary
Prelude
Its Glennon Doyles wedding day. As she exchanges vows with her new husband, Craig, Glennon reflects that her marriage will make her a new personand a better person, she hopes. Shes sober now. Shes a wife. And soon, shell be a mother.
Part One
Although Love Warrior is the story of Glennons marriage, she muses that her marriage didnt really begin the day she walked down the aisleits roots extend deep into her childhood.
Glennons familyher mother, father, and sisterhave always loved and supported her. Regardless, Glennon struggles with bulimia, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem starting at the age of ten. Glennon learns to act the way she believes others want her to act. She calls the person she presents to the outside world her representative. Glennons representative does what all the other girls do: She loses her virginity, attends parties, and drinks. By living life as her representative, Glennon hides her inner pain.
During her senior year of high school, Glennon checks in to a mental institution. She finds some relief there, where nobody has to hide his or her pain. She returns to high school, graduates, and enters college. There, she joins a sorority, parties regularly, and dates a fraternity brother. But she continues to suffer from bulimia and anxiety, and she starts drinking heavily.
Glennon graduates from college, moves back to her hometown, rents a townhouse with two friends, and finds a job teaching third grade. Every night, she gets blackout drunk. She starts to date Craig, a handsome man who attended her high school two years ahead of her.