Elaine LaJoie - The Empath and the Archetypal Drama Triangle

The Empath and the Archetypal Drama Triangle

Elaine La Joie

Copyright 2012 Elaine La Joie

All rights reserved.

ISBN-10:1479223263

ISBN-13:978-1479223268

DEDICATION

To Grant, without your love and support, these books would have never been written

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

These books are based on combinations of client stories from my private practice and from my own personal experience. There would be no lessons to share with you without the courageous efforts of my clients in healing themselves so they can have the lives and relationships that they desire.

1 INTRODUCTION

I am an Empath who has been working as a coach, mentor, and shaman for about ten years. Most of my clients are also Empaths. I decided to write this series of books when I realized that I repeated the same concepts and materials to my clients, and those clients usually used their new knowledge for great improvement in their lives. Since Empaths tend to love books on self-improvement, writing one of my own seemed like the next right step, especially since not all Empaths have access to their own personal shaman. My teachers have included other Empaths, like Sonia Choquette and Julia Cameron, plus shaman teachers like Alberto Villoldo, Linda Fitch, Debra Grace, Greta Holmes, and Marv Harwood. If youve enjoyed Sonia Choquettes and Julia Camerons work, you will most likely find these books useful. The shaman likes to get to the deep, nitty-gritty, and sometimes painfully messy work and release it. So, some of the work in this book may not feel inspirational or particularly easy to read. But, if you are an Empath, you probably arent afraid of dealing with the darker emotional states, and in fact you may be relieved to hear how one Empath overcame obstacles particular to Empaths.

Empaths have the ability to feel the emotions and physical sensations of others, especially our loved ones. In extreme cases, Empaths can develop the same personality traits and physical symptoms of the people to whom they are closest. This ability in the Empath is usually unconscious and therefore uncontrolled. More than anything, Empaths want to have close, loving, bonded, rewarding relationships, and most Empaths want this with a Life Partner. But for many Empaths, the area of Relationship is either difficult or dissatisfying, precisely because we tend to tune in to what the other person needs and then lose ourselves in the processin other words, we lose that relationship with ourselves as we relate to others. As we come into right relationship with ourselves, old ways of being that did not fit our true selves fall away. Relationships centered around old roles and rules either end or evolve, and new relationships based on our rediscovered selves take their place.

While our goal may be to create wonderful relationships, this journey of healing enough to be ready for such connections can make us wish we had never started the process. It is my hope that by following the stories of typical Empaths in creating the lives that they really wanted, this book will serve as a guide for Empaths who want to understand their relationships and their own hidden motivations. The personal healing work involved can be intense, but it is worth it. May this book help you on your own personal journey.

W HAT IS AN EMPATH?

O ne way of describing an Empath is the ability of someone to feel the emotional, mental, and physical symptoms of people around the Empath, especially those that the Empath loves, as if those emotions and sensations originated in the Empath. The untrained Empath literally cannot tell the difference between her emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations and those of another. An Empath can easily absorb the emotions of others, and in some cases, she can be overtaken by the physical symptoms of others. Without skill, the Empath can become very ill. Some Empaths are so sensitive that they cannot take public transportation and must avoid large groups of people or feel completely overwhelmed by what most people consider normal stimuli.

Honoring the Empaths sensitivity is the first step in healing. This very sensitivity is the reason that Empaths make natural healers, artists, and intuitives. Empaths can also make great performers, literally channeling their roles. It is this ability to role-play and to respond that can get Empaths into trouble in their relationships; Empaths can confuse a performance or a role with their essential selves.