Praise for Same Difference
My congratulations to Barnett and Rivers for another first-class job of exploring the gender myths affecting our society. They take no prisoners, nor should they, in their cutting analysis, based on solid research and totally accessible writing.
Marvin Kalb, senior fellow of Shorenstein Center on Press,
Politics and Public Policy at Harvard University
Instead of pitting nature against nurture, Barnett and Rivers present an optimistic and accurate picture of humanity that shows how men and women develop a fuller range of natural life options, including nurturing fathers and women as political leaders.
Diane F. Halpern, former President of the American
Psychological Association, Professor of Psychology, Claremont McKenna
College, and Director of the Berger Institute for Work, Family, and Children
The message of Same Difference is compelling: For too long, society has stuffed men and women into ill-fitting stereotypes, and now the tight garments are pinching. This engaging and illuminating book is liberating in the best and healthiest sensethat is, freeing individuals to be themselves.
Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School,
author of Confidence: How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End
A wonderfully provocative book that challenges, one by one, the most popular myths of gender difference, using a combination of compelling science and wise insight. Because it is easier to sell the notion that a wide gulf exists between men and women, books and articles proclaiming gender differences receive cover story attention. I strongly hope that this book receives comparable attention and is widely readbecause it will clearly help improve relationships between men and women, boys and girls.
Ellen Galinsky, President, Families and Work Institute;
author, Ask the Children
Same Difference, then, serves a practical purpose of helping families reconcile their non-traditional balance between work and home against long-held beliefs, including that men are prehistorically predisposed to be providers and that women lack the hard wiring to do math... it is a provocative examination of embedded stereotypes that the authors contend limit the potential of both men and women.
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
So, in the name of freedom, I encourge you to sit that insensitive, workaholic boyfriend of yours down in front of a football game and take your maternal, co-dependent self to the bookstore to pick up this fabulous gem.
Bust
Also by Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers
She Works/He Works (1996)
Lifeprints (1983)
Beyond Sugar and Spice (1979)
Same Difference
How Gender Myths Are
Hurting Our Relationships,
Our Children, and Our Jobs
Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers
Basic Books
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
New York
To Nat and Alan, whose continuous support onmany fronts and unflagging interest and enthusiasmmade all this possible. If we ever needed proofthat caring was as much a male as a female virtue,our husbands have given us that proof.
Copyright 2004 by Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers
Hardcover first published in 2004 by Basic Books,
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
Paperback first published in 2005 by Basic Books.
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, address Basic Books, 387 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 100168810.
Books published by Basic Books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the United States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 11 Cambridge Center, Cambridge, MA 02142, or call (617) 252-5298, (800) 255-1514 or e-mail special.markets@perseusbooks.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Barnett, Rosalind C.
Same difference : how gender myths are hurting our relationships, our children, and our jobs / Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers. 1st ed.
p. cm.
H.C.: ISBN-13: 978-0-465-00610-6; ISBN 0-465-00610-8
eBook ISBN: 9780786737895
1. Sex differences (Psychology) 2. Sex role. I. Rivers, Caryl. II. Title.
BF692.2.B37 2004
305.3dc22
2004002183
Designed by Jeff Williams
Set in 11.5-pt New Caledonia
PBK: ISBN-13: 978-0-465-00613-7; ISBN 0-465-00613-2
05 06 07 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Acknowledgments
It is our great fortune to have Susan Rabiner and Susan Arellano as our agents. Without their insight and grasp of the issues, this book would never have come together. Susan Arellano went well beyond her role as agent to ask probing questions and to put in many hours on the final editing of the manuscript.
Jo Ann Miller at Basic Books believed in the manuscript from the start and helped us shape complex ideas into a coherent whole. Thanks as well to her assistant, Ellen Garrison. We would also like to thank Linda Carbone for her editing work.
Special thanks to Donna Ellis, whose generosity of spirit and careful work added greatly to the success of this project.
I (RB) began work on this project while I was a visiting scholar at the Henry A. Murray Research Center at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University. I owe a great debt of gratitude to Ann Colby, then director, who provided me with the support I needed to undertake this work. In addition, I want to thank Jackie James for her encouragement and wisdom, and Marty Mauzy for her unstinting interest and reassurance. In the course of writing the book, I relocated to Brandeis University, where I was fortunate to find a home at the Womens Studies Research Center. I am deeply indebted to Shula Reinharz, director of the center, for her unwavering support and enthusiasm. She has been a steady source of good cheer and optimism especially at those times when I most needed support. I also want to thank the community of scholars at the center, who showed great interest in the book and offered many helpful suggestions and comments throughout the writing process.
Thanks to the generosity of these two institutions, I had the good fortune to work with a number of outstanding undergraduate students, including Elizabeth Beasely, Madeline Lohman, Rachel Nash, Mical Natoniewski, Rebecca Nesson, Anna Perrici, Erica Pond, Nicole Selinger, Patricia Wencelblatt, and Annie Wong.
CR wishes to thank Bill Ketter and Bob Zelnick, chairs of the Boston University Journalism Department, for their help and encouragement, as well as Dean J. J. Schulz of the College of Communication. Jim Gallagher in the Bebe Research Center at the College of Communication at Boston University was of great help in researching this book. Thanks also to Lisa Becker for her interviewing skills.
Our thanks to Marvin Kalb and the Joan Shorenstein Center for Press and Politics at Harvard University for a Goldsmith Research Award that helped make this book possible.
Preface
In the time since the hardcover edition of this book was published, a series of high-profile events made clear that the issue of gender differences is far from a dry academic subject.
Harvard President Lawrence Summers made comments at an academic conference in 2005 that caused an international uproar. He said that perhaps it was womens innate deficiencies in math and science not discrimination or the long hours of academic lifethat accounted for the dearth of women in top positions in these fields. One world-renowned female scientist who was present, Nancy Hopkins of M.I.T., got up and walked out. The presidents of three elite universities wrote an op-ed in the