Susan Mallery - In Bed With The Devil

The sixth book in the Millionaire of the Month series, 2007

Eleven years ago

Meredith Palmer spent the afternoon of her seventeenth birthday curled up on her narrow bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Everything about her life was a disaster. It was never going to be better-and what if she was one of the unlucky people who peaked in her teenage years? What if this was the best it was going to be?

Seriously, she should just throw herself out her dorm room window and be done with it. Of course, she was only on the fourth floor, so she was not going to actually kill herself. The most likely event was maiming.

She sat up and wiped her face. Given the distance to the ground and the speed at impact, she murmured to herself, then sniffed. Depending on my position She reached for a piece of paper. If I fell feet first-unlikely, but it could happen-then the majority of the stress would be on my

She started doing the calculations. Bone density versus a hard concrete landing or a softer grass landing. Assuming a coefficient of-

Meri threw down the pencil and paper and collapsed back on her bed. Im a total freak. Ill never be anything but a freak. I should be planning my death, not doing math. No wonder I dont have any friends.

The sobs returned. She cried and cried, knowing that there was no cure for her freakishness. That she was destined to be one of those scary solitary people.

Ill have to get cats, she cried. Im allergic to cats.

The door to her room opened. She kept her face firmly in her pillow.

Go away.

I dont think so.

That voice. She knew that voice. The owner was the star of every romantic and semisexual fantasy shed ever had. Tall, with dark hair and eyes the color of the midnight sky-assuming one was away from the city, where the ambient light emitted enough of a-

Meri groaned. Someone just kill me now.

No ones going to kill you, Jack said as he sat next to her on her bed and put a strong, large hand on her back. Come on, kid. Its your birthday. Whats the problem?

How much time did he have? She could make him a list. Given an extra forty-five seconds, she could index it, translate it into a couple of languages, then turn it into computer code.

I hate my life. Its horrible. Im a freak. Worse, Im a fat, ugly freak and Ill always be this way.

She heard Jack draw in a breath.

There were a lot of reasons she was totally in love with him. Sure, he was incredibly good-looking, but that almost didnt matter. The best part of Jack was he took time with her. He talked to her as if she was a real person. Next to Hunter, her brother, she loved Jack more than anyone.

Youre not a freak, he said, his voice low.

She noticed he didnt say she wasnt fat. There was no getting around the extra forty pounds on her five-foot-two-inch, small-boned frame. Unfortunately he also didnt tell her she wasnt ugly. Jack was kind, but he wasnt a liar.

Between her braces and her nose-which rivaled the size of Io, one of Jupiters moons-and her blotchy complexion, she had a permanent offer from the circus to sign on up for the sideshow.

Im not normal, she said, still speaking into her pillow because crying made her puffy and she didnt need for Jack to see her looking even more hideous. I was planning my death and instead I got caught up in math equations. Normal people dont do that.

Youre right, Meri. Youre not normal. Youre way better than that. Youre a genius. The rest of us are idiots.

He wasnt an idiot. He was perfect.

Ive been in college since I was twelve, she mumbled. Thats five years. If I was really smart, Id be done now.

Youre getting a Ph.D., not to mention your, what, third masters?

Something like that. Unable to be in the same room with him and not look at him, she flipped onto her back.

God, he was so amazing, she thought as her chest tightened and her stomach turned over a couple of times. Technically the organ in question couldnt turn over. What she felt was just-

She covered her face with her hands. I have to find a way to turn off my brain.

Why? So you can be like the rest of us?

She dropped her hands to her side. Yes. I want to be a regular girl.

Sorry. Youre stuck being special.

She loved him so much it hurt. She wanted him to think she was more than his best friends kid sister. She wanted him to see her as a woman.

Right, and while she was having a fantasy moment

maybe he could see her as a beautiful woman he ached for. As if!

I dont have any friends, she said as she did her best to ignore the need to tell him she would love him forever. Im too young, especially in the Ph.D. program. They all think Im some upstart kid. Theyre waiting for me to crash and burn.

Which isnt going to happen.

I know, but between my academic isolation and my lack of a female role model since the death of my mother, the odds of my maturing to a normal functioning member of society grow more slim each day. Like I said-Im a freak. Tears rolled down her temples to get lost in her hair. Ill never have a boyfriend.

Give it a couple of years.

Its not going to happen. And even if some guy does take pity on me and ask me out, hell have to be drunk or stoned or something to want to kiss me, let alone have sex with me. Im going to d-die a virgin.

The sobs began again.

Jack pulled her into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her. Hell of a birthday, he said.

Tell me about it.

She snuggled close, liking how strong and muscular he felt. He smelled good, too. If only he were desperately in love with her, the moment would be perfect.

But that was not meant to be. Instead of declaring undying devotion and ripping off both their clothes or even kissing her, he shifted back so they werent even touching.

Meri, youre in a tough place right now. You dont fit in here and you sure dont fit in with kids your own age.

She wanted to protest she was almost his age-there were only four years between them-and she fit with him just fine. But Jack was the kind of guy who had dozens of women lining up to be with him. Pretty, skinny girls she really, really hated.

But youre going to get through this and then life is going to be a whole lot better.

I dont think so. Freakishness doesnt just go away.

He reached out and touched her cheek. I have high hopes for you.

What if youre wrong? What if I do die a virgin?

He chuckled. You wont. I promise.

Cheap talk.

Its what Im good at.

He leaned toward her, and before she knew what he was going to do, he kissed her. On the mouth!

She barely registered the soft, warm pressure of his lips on hers and then the kiss was over.

No! She spoke without thinking and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt. Jack, no. Please. I want you to be my first time.

Shed never seen a man move so fast. One second he was on her bed, the next he was standing by the door to her dorm room.

Shame and humiliation swept through her. She would have given a hundred IQ points to call those words back. Heat burned her cheeks until she knew she would be marked by the embarrassment forever.

Shed never meant him to know. Hed probably guessed she had a massive crush on him, but shed never wanted him to be sure.

Jack, I

He shook his head. Meri, Im sorry. Youreyoure Hunters little sister. I could neverI dont see you like that.

Of course not. Why would he want a beast when there were so many beauties throwing themselves at him?