Elizabeth Hunter - The Scribe

Tel Aviv, Israel

Youre going to think Im crazy.

Are you?

No. Though I suppose most crazy people think theyre sane. So it doesnt matter what I say.

There was a pause as the doctor studied the young woman. The listless mouth and relaxed demeanor were belied by the fierce expression in her gold eyes. Barely suppressed anger and resignation. An odd combination for one so young.

Why do you assume I will think youre mentally unstable? Youre a professional woman. Obviously intelligent based on our previous conversation. University educated. Successful in a highly competitive field

They all think Im crazy, Doctor Asner. She shifted in her seat, letting her gaze drift out the window to the tree-lined street as a mother with two laughing children passed. A flicker of sadness in her eyes, then nothing again. Its okay. Im used to it.

You hear voices?

No question mark on the end.

He blinked and looked up from his pad of paper. Excuse me?

The look she gave him was almost amused. The womans dark curls fell over her shoulder as she angled herself toward him and crossed her arms. No question mark. I hear voices. Your intonation held a slight lift at the end of that statement, indicating you questioned what you were saying. There is no question. I hear voices. I told you before. Ive heard them for as long as I can remember. You can believe me, or you can think Im insane. But its not a question.

Youve studied linguistics.

Linguistics. Phonetics. Ancient languages. Modern languages. I have a very generous stepfather who likes it when Im not home. Getting several degrees seemed like a good way to pass the time.

But you became a photojournalist.

Im a travel photographer. You dont have to make it sound more important than it is.

He shrugged. Your work has appeared in major magazines. You make your living with what you do. Are you embarrassed by your work?

Not at all.

Then why qualify?

I dont believe in putting on false fronts. Dishonesty irritates me. I am not a photojournalist. Remember the generous stepfather? He also gives me a very generous allowance in order to keep me out of his hair and out of the country. I can afford to travel lots of places that make for pretty pictures. Magazines like to buy them. Im not saving the world or exposing the horrors of war. What I do is fun, not meaningful.

Would you like to do something more meaningful?

A rueful laugh was her first reaction. God, no.

Why not? The voices?

Theres that unspoken question again. Yes, the voices.

Is that why youve never had a serious relationship?

So my mom called you before the session, huh?

Asner smiled. Shes concerned about you. That much was evident. Are you and your mother close?

I suppose so. The young woman shrugged. Shes the reason Im not locked up, so I cant really complain about her.

Her eyes drifted to the window again.

Miss Matheson?

Ava.

Excuse me?

Ava blinked and turned her eyes back to the doctor. Call me Ava. Matheson is my stepfathers name.

But he raised you? Your stepfather and your mother raised you, didnt they?

Yes.

And you only recently met your biological father.

Her eyes narrowed. Is that why Mom and Carl insisted on this appointment? Because of my father?

Hes a new presence in your life.

Not really. Ive been a fan for years.

He gave her blank look.

Ava sighed. Yes, hes a new presence.

Hes a musician?

Please dont pretend you dont know who my father is. Its irritating. I knew him as an old friend of my mothersthats it. When I found out he was my actual father, it wasnt a big deal. Ive known since I was little that Carl adopted me.

But you had no idea the man was your real father.

No.

Did he know you were his?

Yes, but he agreed to let my mom raise me. Hes not the most together person. He knows that.

Asner paused thoughtfully. Do you think your voices have anything to do with your father? A shared creativity, perhaps?

She curled her lip. My fatheras messed up as he isis a brilliant composer. He hears music in his head and writes it down and makes lots of money. I hear garbled voices I dont understand. Not really the same thing. You dont get locked up for being a brilliant composer.

Do you fear being institutionalized?

The fierce expression returned. Why would I? As you said, Im a successful photojournalist. Plus, thanks to my surprise dad, Im rich enough to be eccentric instead of crazy.

He couldnt stop his own smile. Tell me more about your voices. What do they say?

She shifted again, and her eyes drifted back to the window. I dont know.

What do you mean?

I mean exactly what I said.

So you dont hear language. You dont hear other peoples thoughts?

I dont know what I hear. Her eyes swung back and narrowed on him. But I know you believe me more than the others. I wonder why that is.

Im an open-minded individual.

Maybe.

Tell me more. How do you know I believe you? Can you hear me?

Yes.

What am I thinking?

I cant tell you that. Thats not the way it works.

Do you sense my feelings?

Its all in the tone of your voice. The voice I hear, anyway.

And what voice is that?

The one everyone has.

Everyone?

She took a deep breath and he saw the hints of resignation again. Every country and every age. Different voices speaking the same language. Thats what I hear.

He leaned forward. Every voice sounds the same?

Of course not. Everyone has a different voice. They just all speak the same language.

Everywhere in the world?

Everywhere Ive traveled so far. So a lot of it.

What language is it?

I dont know.

What are they saying?

Frustration flashed. I dont know.

So how do you

Its a language, doctor. There are rises and falls in the rhythm. There are common words and phrases I hear again and again. I hear the same things from the minds of people all over the world. I just dont know what theyre saying.

He had to pause to contain his reaction. It didnt matter.

She cocked her head. Thats exciting to you.

He smiled. Its very interesting, Ava.

Interesting is one word for it.

He heard the irritation in her voice. Though Im sure it is frustrating, as well. I imagine it can be quite distracting.

The corner of her mouth turned up. Its enough to drive you crazy.

Asner laughed a little, and Ava relaxed a bit. How do you sleep?

Probably the same way you do. A bed is usually involved, but Im pretty comfortable on trains, too. Planes are harder. Buses, practically impossible.

What a clever and humorous deflection of my question. He stretched his legs in front of him, almost spanning the small office. When you sleep, do you dream?

Vividly. Always have.

And these voices do you hear them in your dreams?

She frowned, and Asner wondered if he was the first mental health professional to ask that question. Ava Matheson had seen more than her share.

No. No, I dont hear them in my dreams.

He smiled. That must be a relief.

Yes, it is.

Is that part of the reason you prefer to work alone? No voices?

Yes.

And happy, relaxed places. Vacation spots instead of conflict areas.

Its all falling into place, isnt it, Doc?

Have you tried medications?

All sorts of them. She reached out and grabbed the arms of the chair she sat in. Most of them make me sleepy. Kill my appetite. Thats about it.

He nodded, jotting down more notes as she examined him. Do the voices are they always the same volume? Are some louder than others?