M Leighton - Wild Child

May

No sex before the wedding. For me and Trick. Or for you and Rusty, Cami says.

With my mouth hanging open, I watch her unpack her suitcase. Shes staying with me during this ridiculous celibacy thing shes insisting she and Trick observe the last couple of days before the wedding. She said nothing about dragging my libido into it.

What? I exclaim as she crams some shorts in beside the few belongings I brought home for the month. Having just graduated college, I didnt pack much. I didnt think there was a need. Now, seeing all the crap Cami travels with, Im glad I didnt. Theres not enough room for both of us in here. No sex for me either? What the hell kind of twisted joke is this?

She laughs. I knew youd love it.

Um, excuse me. Have you met me?

I knew youd love itwhen I told you how good it would be for the boys. I read an article about the benefits of anticipation. Sexually speaking. But then I started thinking about how much it would make the guys miss us if we werent soaccessible. How much more theyd appreciate us, and how theyd realize how lucky they are to have us. Cami nods her head slowly, meaningfully until I see what shes getting at.

Ohhh, I think I see where this is going.

Cami grins. That doesnt mean we cant tease them. And make them wish we were moreavailable. We just wont be. Until after the wedding.

Riiight, I say, nodding along now.

But you have to stick with it, Jenna. No caving.

Im already recognizing the merit of her plan and how it could lead to very good things for me and Rusty. No caving, I agree. Unless Rusty finally drops the L bomb. If that happens, Ill be on him like stink on shit. Cami wrinkles her nose as she eyes me. Okay, bad analogy. Ill be on him like a cheap suit. Better?

Her brow smoothes. Much. She reaches into her suitcase and takes out more clothes, these on hangers. She walks to the closet and begins hanging them on the empty half of the rod. So, still no progress on that front?

I sigh. No. I know he loves me. Well, at least I think he does, but its like hes blocked when it comes to this stuff. He just wont break down and tell me.

Well, as long as you know

I feel a pout come to my lips and I cant seem to stop it. But its not enough. I need to hear it. I need to know for sure, beyond the shadow of a doubt.

Some guys just arent the type to spill their guts like that, Jenna.

I plop down on the bed, shoulders slumping forward as I pick at the bedspread. I know. But I hope Rustys not one of them. You know how I am, Cami. I tell it like it is. I dont think I could live my life always wondering if maybe I was wrong, if maybe Id imagined it and he really doesnt love me. Not the way he should anyway. I dont want to make plans for my future, plans that include him, and

Camis gasp interrupts me. Does that mean you got the interviews?

I cant help but smile. Yep. Both of em.

Jenna, thats awesome! Ohmigod, this is just what you wanted.

I know, but you see why this is stressing me out? I dont want to make plans for my future until I know where Rusty stands. I mean, he already thinks Im the leaving kind and this will just make it seem like hes right.

The leaving kind?

Yeah. Hes always teasing me about being too restless for this town, about having plans that are too big for this town. Ive never tried to hide how much I hate it here or how I want to live in a bigger city. Maybe Atlanta. But sometimes, I think he sees us astemporary because of it. He thinks Im some sort of wild child that will never settle down.

You are a wild child, Jenna. But thats not a bad thing. Its who you are. Its what makes us all love you so much.

But that doesnt mean that Im gonna bail on someone I love.

No, it doesnt. And Im sure Rusty knows that. Deep down.

Thats the problem. Im not sure that he does. His dad abandoned him and his mom when he was little and I think it effed up his head.

Cami shrugs. Maybe, but he can overcome that. You can show him that youre here to stay. With him, I mean.

I sigh again. Thats what Im trying to do. But sometimes Im just not sure it will ever be enough. Maybe its Rusty whos the leaving kind. Maybe his fear will always keep him from committing, from loving someone like he should. Like he could. But thats the thingI need to know so I can move forward, one way or the other. But Im scared shitless to tell him about the interviews. What if it makes up his mind for him? What if he thinks its me saying Im leaving him and not just this town? What if

Hell come around for you, Jenna, Cami interrupts as she finishes hanging her clothes. When theyre all neatly arranged in my closet, she comes to sit on the bed with me, bumping me with her shoulder until I look over at her. For you. Trust me. That boy loves you, no matter how much he might try to deny it. Just give him time.

Im trying. Im trying.

See? My plan is a good one. Maybe hell realize that he cant live without you. That he doesnt even want to try.

I was hoping he would see that during one of the many, many weeks we were apart while I was at school, but its not looking like he did.

Cami pats my knee. But now youre back home. And school is over. Maybe hell see how much he likes having you around. And how awful it would be if you got a job in Atlanta and didnt get to come back here as much as you did during school.

I hope so. I cant wait forever.

You wont have to. I promise.

I just hope shes right.

Shaking off the depressing thoughts that are threatening to infringe on my besties good mood, I hop off the bed and pull Cami up with me.

Come on, old wise one, Id say Fab Dad has something delectable waiting for us in the kitchen.

Weve both referred to my father as Fab Dad for as long as I can remember.

God, I wish my dad cooked like yours. And was as sweet as yours.

But then he wouldnt be Jack Hines, now would he?

Cami sighs. No. And God forbid I have even one family relationship that doesnt give me indigestion for the rest of my life.

You and Trick are too perfect. God gave you drama everywhere else to even the playing field. No ones life is perfect. Yours was just getting too damn close, I offer as we walk into the kitchen.

Language, young lady, my dad, Cris Theopolis, scolds from the other side of the island.

Sorry, father, I respond formally in jest.

So, he begins conversationally as he piles a heap of French toast and bacon onto two plates, what are my two favorite girls up to today?

I watch as he drizzles his homemade peach syrup over the toast. My mouth waters accordingly. Oh, just girl stuff. Wedding stuff. You know, fun stuff.

Thisll be good for Jenna, Cami, Dad says as he slides a plate in front of her. Maybe itll make her want to settle down and give her old man some grandkids.

Youre not old enough for grandchildren, Daddy.

Of course I am.

You dont look it.

If youre sucking up, youre off to a particularly good start.

I know. I got your stunningly youthful genes and a winning personality.

Lets not forget a double dose of humility, my father says wryly.

How could I forget that?

How indeed, he says with a roll of his eyes. Well, this ought to give you girls enough energy to tackle any amount of wedding hoopla, so eat up.

I glance over at Cami. Shes already put away a piece and a half of toast. You dont have to ask us twice.