Pepper Winters - Twisted Together

The blackness tried to swallow us whole, kill us, ruin us, capture our soul

Im not marrying you for the pleasure of calling you my wife, esclave. Im not marrying you because its the evolution of a relationship. Im marrying you so I have claim on you forever. Your soul will be mine for eternity. In sickness and in health, in life and in death, you will belong to me. And I will belong to you.

Q brought me closer, whispering his passion into my mouth. Dont think this is a contract between two people in love. Dont think this legal document is something flimsy and insignificant. By marrying me, youre taking all of me. Everything that I am. All that I will be. Youre accepting my lightness, my darkness, my fucking eternal spirit. By signing your name to mine you are no longer Tess Snow.

What am I? I murmured, accepting his feather-soft kiss.

Youre Tess Mercer. Now and for always. Forever and ever. Its done.

But our demons didnt play well with others, the beast broke free to make them suffer

Do it, puta. Kill her.

No! Stop this. Im done. No more

Yes, more. Every night, youre ours. Every time your pretty fucking eyes close, were waiting. Every time you succumb to sleep, were waiting to drag you into insanity.

Its not real. Its not real.

No matter how many times I screamed the truth, the dream would never free me. Leather Jacket somehow tricked my mind into leaving the sanctity of Qs presence, yanking me into the depths of despair.

Please dont hurt me, Blonde Angel moaned.

I didnt want to. I never wanted to hurt another living thing again.

Dont think about disobeying, puta. You know what happens. Leather Jacket flickered into two monstrosities: one moment the man I knewthe man whod tortured, hit, and taunted methen another moment, the drooling carnivorous Jackal whod raped Blonde Angel only minutes before Q found me.

The smog, the fog, crept over my mind, swarming around me with sickly warmth. No! Not that. I never wanted to be held hostage by chemicals again. Drugs made me forget. Drugs made me become them.

Do it, precious. Otherwise Ill do something worse, Leather Jacket cooed.

My heart sank into the depths of my soul. Every night they visited. Every night they shattered my healing, throwing me back to a past I couldnt forget. Every night they reminded me that pain was atrocious. Pain was the devil. Pain was horrendous and terrible and cruel.

Pain.

My nemesis.

My burden.

I shook my head, standing over Blonde Angel. Our eyes metjust like hundreds of times beforeand I wordlessly shouted my grief, my sadness, my lifetime of apologies.

But it made no difference.

Just like the drugs made me incapacitated in Rio, the dream had power over me in the present. I wouldnt be free until I gave into the inevitable. I wouldnt wake until I killed her.

A heavy crowbar rested in my sweat-slippery hands. I tried to scuttle backward but some ominous force pressed against my shoulders. The phantom pressure raised my arms against my willstealing all motor control, leaving me screaming until my throat rivered with blood and rawness.

Mildew and reeking rubbish clouded my nostrils even though I knew it wasnt real. The only scent I should inhale was the comforting notes of citrus and sandalwood of my master sleeping beside me.

The master who swore to protect me from everything. The master who failed every night. How could a man fight nightmares? How could he slay men hed already killed from taunting my mind in slumber?

Simple. He couldnt.

Every night was the same. Q fought to save me from demons he couldnt fight, and I fought to stop dreaming.

Once the nightmare claimed me, I couldnt get free until the horrible conclusion. It happened differently every time. Sometimes by bullet. Sometimes by axe or blade. But no matter how I did it, committing murder was the only way to hurtle me back to consciousness.

If I concentrated hard enough I could feel him. If I squeezed my eyes and searched for the tether to my mortal body, I knew I wasnt lying quietly and serene. My body was sweat-dewed and thrashing in tangled sheets; my cheek smarting from a stinging slap as Q tried to rouse me.

More pain.

Pain on top of pain.

It all had to stop, before I went mad.

Little girl, I wont ask again, Leather Jacket sneered.

The crowbar was no longer heavy in my hands; the unseen malicious entity arched my back, swinging the weapon, high and deadly.

No. No, no, no. Not again.

Close your eyes. Dont look. Dont fill your mind with yet more killing.

Blonde Angel crawled backward, cradling her already broken wrist and knee. Her mouth twisted into pleas. Dont. Please dont. Havent you done enough? You killed her! You killed the other girl. Do you have no mercy? Her eyes were wild, green and clear as cut glass. Her blonde hair no longer shone like gold but hung in bloody clumps.

Im sorry!

My heart-filled apology only made her snarl. No, youre not. Youre one of them. Youre lying to yourself, to him, to me. You loved killing the other blonde so much, you thirst to murder. Youre a monster. A fucking demon spawn.

My lungs suffocated with her hatred, drowning in sorrow. The crowbar swung above my head, controlled by the puppeteer of this horrible dream.

Thats it, pretty girl. Do it. Whats another life? You obeyed so brilliantly before. Every night you fucking murder. Every night you come back to us.

The man whod owned me. Whod drugged me, sold me, and ultimately broken me, appeared from dream-mist. White Man looked suave and immaculate in a white shiny suit. His feral touch landed on my chin, cupping my jaw, holding me prisoner. Youll never be free of us. We took your mind back in Brazil. Your bastard of an owner mightve slaughtered my men and whisked you away to safety, but you know the truth. His mouth descended on mine, his monstrous tongue diving past my lips, making me retch.

Breathing hard he pulled away. Manic anger glowed in his blue gaze. Tell me the truth.

The truth?

What truth? I didnt know what to believe anymore. Was my mind so twisted the truth was only visible in my sleep? Was I deceitful every moment I was awakepretending to deplore pain and horror when really I craved it? Craved to inflict it. Craved to kill.

Questions and uncertainty sprouted like vile weeds, growing thick and fast, suffocating all reason and clarity.

Am I truly what they say? Im no longer a protg. Im truly the devil.

I squeezed my eyes, blocking the dream, grasping with panicked fingers to latch onto the weak tethering of awareness.

Wake up, Tess.

Please.

Tell. Me. White Mans breath fanned my eyelashes, smelling of candy floss. Why did the demon of my nightmares smell of innocence and sugar?

Shaking my head, I whimpered, Theres nothing to tell. My arms stayed raised above my head, holding the crowbar in an unnatural pose. I had no control. None.

Oh, but there is. His white slacks whispered as he stepped to the side, dragging me forward.

Blonde Angel shook so much, my ears rang with the jangling of her bones. Night after night you return to me. Night after night you kill for me. Youre not free, pretty girl. And thats the fucking truth.