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Gerad Kite - Everything You Need You Have: How to Be at Home in Your Self

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Everything You Need You Have: How to Be at Home in Your Self: summary, description and annotation

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Gerad Kite was a therapist for years before realizing all the talk and analysis werent making a lasting difference in the lives of his patients. So he quit his practice and looked for a new way to help people feel better. What he discovered is a different approach to finding a secret, peaceful, and permanent place inside yourself that you can access at all times, a path to getting out of your head, to surrender to what is. Youll see that you already have what you need to be happy and well.Kite draws on the principles of ancient Chinese philosophy and his extensive experience helping people from all walks of life as a relaxation and acupuncture expert. His ten steps will show you how to tune in to your natural rhythms, view your emotions from a different perspective, and finally experience a state of bliss that you can return to again and again.The secret to feeling at home in yourself isnt therapy, meditation, silencing your phone, throwing out your possessions or traveling the world. The answer is already inside you.

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Copyright 2016 by Gerad Kite Foreword copyright 2016 by Andy Puddicombe - photo 1
Copyright 2016 by Gerad Kite Foreword copyright 2016 by Andy Puddicombe All - photo 2Copyright 2016 by Gerad Kite Foreword copyright 2016 by Andy Puddicombe All - photo 3

Copyright 2016 by Gerad Kite

Foreword copyright 2016 by Andy Puddicombe

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

crownpublishing.com

Harmony Books is a registered trademark, and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

Originally published in paperback in Great Britain by Short Books, London.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available upon request.

ISBN9780451498175

Ebook ISBN9780451498182

Cover design: Andrew Smith

Cover illustration: Yehrin Tong

v4.1

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Contents

To Anne

With all my love

FOREWORD

No matter who we are, where we live, what name we go by; no matter the language we speak, the culture we embrace, or the beliefs we cherish; no matter our education, our work, our views or philosophy; the ultimate journey is one of awareness and compassion; our home, right here, in this moment, one and the same place all.

Everything You Need You Have is a timeless message. But it is not enough to simply read the words in this book. We need to explore the essence of these words, to reflect upon them and apply this understanding to our life. In short, we must know these words not as an idea, but as an experience. Only then will we understand their true value.

Like the light from the sun, awareness illuminates our life, allowing us to see clearly, with a sense of confidence, ease and perspective; and like the warmth from the sun, compassion enriches our life, allowing us to embrace this shared human condition, with empathy, kindness and love. Ultimately, this sunlight and warmth are not separate, they are one and the same thing.

When we meet each new moment with awareness, we are free; free from the shackles of the past, free from the fears of the future; free from our idea of how the world should be, instead meeting it simply as it is. It encourages a sense of wonder, of curiosity, as though we were seeing for the very first time. It is not that the world around us changes necessarily, but rather that our experience of that world changes so fundamentally that it will never appear the same again.

Similarly, when we meet each new moment with compassion, we are released from the notion of self, no longer chasing happiness solely for our own benefit, as though there was only so much to go around, but instead motivated to bring happiness to all. Only when we focus on the happiness of others will we find happiness in our own life. It is in this spirit that we witness our relationships transforming, a deepening sense of connection, a softer, gentler approach to life.

It is my sincere wish that you enjoy this wonderful book, that it inspires and motivates, and that the words live and breathe both on the page and off the page, for the benefit of all.

Andy Puddicombe

Los Angeles, November 2015

INTRODUCTION

Home is where I want to be

But I guess Im already there.

TALKING HEADS

Being human can be tough. The gift of life is a miracle but it comes with complications and setbacks that many of us struggle to cope with. We know the goal is to be happy and fulfilled and there are many great examples of a successful life that we can compare with our own, or hold ourselves up to. There are those who appear to cruise through, seemingly having managed to get a hold of the secret life manualbut it doesnt take away the fact that life is challenging a lot of the time, and many of us simply dont know how to navigate our way through it. It begs the questionwhat is a successful life? Is it incremental? So that at the end of your days you can sit and calculate the great times vs. the bad times and see if you passed the test? What is life supposed to be? How on earth do we know if our life is going well?

The trouble is that when you ask one question, it just seems to beget another.

I have been working on a one-to-one basis with people for almost 30 years, first as a psychotherapist and then as a Five-Element acupuncturist; and it is in the nature of what I do that I come into contact with many people who are in trouble in some way. They may have suffered a trauma, a relationship breakdown or serious illness; or they may, after years of striving, simply have got to a point where their lives feel somehow empty and meaningless. Perhaps my job gives me a slightly colored view of the world, but I dont think so. Those life cruisers, with the manual? They, too, tend to run into problems at some point, the shiny veneer having concealed bottled-up worries which, like water finding its way through a tiny crack in a rock, will eventually manifest themselves, either as psychological difficulties or in the form of physical disease.

In our fast-paced, aspirational culture its accepted as normal for us to look endlessly outside ourselves for meaning and purposewhat can I get? Where will I be? In early life we look to our parents as role models; but as we, and they, get older, we realize that they dont really have the answersnor do our friends or the names in lights that were meant to look up to. In the meantime, we plunge ourselves into work, tasks and routines, our relationships, social life, hobbiesalmost anything as we look for ourselves.

Of course, we all want to do well, to get on. But all this looking ahead has the effect of keeping us in the thrall of a perpetual future: I just need to get away on holiday; when the kids have left home, when weve paid off the mortgage, we can really start enjoying ourselves; if only we didnt have this rain. And yet the truth is that when we do eventually get there, theres rarely any real sense of arrival, there are no flagsand, even if there are, the celebrations all too often short-lived as we jump to focus on the next best thing. If were not looking forward all the time, were lamenting or feeding off the pasteither in the form of nostalgia or of regretsthat bad love affair, the day we got sacked, or were tricked into that deal that lost us so much money

So, let me ask you: how often do you stop, and look inward and find yourself content with whats here and now? And how often do you hear someone else doing that: simply relishing the joy of the now?

Many people in the world today equate happiness with being busy or even mildly stressed; they say it makes them feel alive. But as we shall see, this thought is just part of a whole range of problems caused by how disconnected we have become from our true selves.

We put our faith and trust in the illusory future, and dont seem to wake up to the fact that this limited reality isnt the full picture and inevitably just doesnt deliver: that what were looking for simply isnt out there.

All in the mind

Our ability to think, to rationalize and judge is, we believe, our greatest gift as human beings; it is what defines us, and sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

When, in the 17th century, the French philosopher Descartes declared, I think, therefore I am, this was deemed cause for mighty celebration. Here was enlightenment. We took his wisdom on board as a mantra for life, brushing aside in one fell swoop thousands of years of ancient wisdom.

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