Paul A. Ruggieri - Confessions of a Surgeon: The Good, the Bad, and the Complicated...Life Behind the O.R. Doors

Confessions
of a Surgeon

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The Good, the Bad, and the Complicated...

Life Behind the O.R. Doors

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This is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

Copyright 2012 by Dr. Paul Ruggieri.

Excerpt from The Price by Arthur Miller, copyright 1968 by Arthur Miller and Ingeborg M. Miller, Trustee. Used by permission of Viking Penguin, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Cover photo Image Source.

Cover design by Oceana Gottlieb.

Text design by Laura K. Corless.

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PRINTING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / January 2012

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ruggieri, Paul, 1959

Confessions of a surgeon : the good, the bad, and the complicated: life behind the O.R. doors / Paul A. Ruggieri.1st ed.

p. cm.

EISBN: 9781101554043

1. Ruggieri, Paul, 1959 2. SurgeonsBiography. I. Title.

RD27.35.R84 2012

617.092dc23

[B]

2011038205

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

The events described in this book are the real experiences of real people. However, the author has altered their identities and, in some instances, created composite characters. Any resemblance between a character in this book and a real person therefore is entirely accidental.

Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity.
In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers;
however, the story, the experiences, and the words
are the authors alone.

To my father, John,
the most honest man I have ever known

I would like to thank all the patients whom I have had the privilege of knowing throughout my career. Every day I continue to be humbled by the trust and confidence they bestow on me. My patients have taught me invaluable lessons about life and have contributed to the making of a surgeon more so than they will ever know.

I would like to thank my agent, Donald Fehr, of Trident Media Group. Dons keen interest early on in this project was inspiring to me as a first-time author and his continued guidance was invaluable.

I am eternally grateful for the friendship and professional talents of Martha Murphy. Her enthusiasm and input into this project were instrumental to its success.

I am also indebted to my editor, Natalee Rosenstein, who believed in me, and all the people at the Berkley Publishing Group for their support in seeing this project to the end.

I would also like to deeply thank my parents, John (to whom this book is dedicated) and Irene. Their undying love and support have fostered my ability to view lifes successes and failures with humble eyes, never forgetting the roots of my soul.

Most important, I have been blessed with members of my own family. They have been with me from the first to the last written word. I wish to thank my beautiful wife, Erin, for allowing me into her life and fueling my desire to follow a dream. Her honest and critical eye was instrumental in helping me tell my story. I would also like to thank my stepsons, Matt, Ryan, and Jack, along with our golden retriever, Chase, for their innocence and honesty. Their presence continues to keep me grounded every single day.

There are times, as you know, when if you leave someone alone he might live a year or two; while if you go in you might kill him. And the decision is oftennot quite, but almostarbitrary. But the odds are acceptable, provided you think the right thoughts. Or dont think at all, which I managed to do till then.

Walter, a general surgeon, in Arthur Millers The Price

When I meet someone for the first time in a social setting and reveal (sooner or later) that Im a surgeon, the reaction is often something close to awe (at least among those who dont spend their days in the world of healthcare). This unearned respect can be flattering, but the truth of the matter is Id rather have my new acquaintance realize that Im a human being, that Im not perfect, that Im not a demigod, and that surgery (as well as the rest of medicine) is an art as much as a science. And some days, calling it an art is a stretch.

Becoming a surgeon was the most difficult thing Ive ever done. The training is designed to test your mental and physical endurance as much as your intelligence or skill with a scalpel. Those without a deep reservoir of desire and drive need not apply. Yet once through the fire, the years and years of school and residency working as a surgeon has provided the most exhilarating times of my life. I wouldnt trade it for anything. Most days, that is...

On the good days, I delight in being a member of a unique club of extraordinarily talented, complex, brilliant, driven, and compassionate professionals. Were saving lives. On the bad days, I realize Im part of a world inhabited by flawed, greedy, egotistical, and insecure practitioners (and I include myself in that description). Were making mistakes but (usually) correcting them before lasting damage is done. The middle ground looks like this: I get to work with a motley crew of healthcare professionals, surrounded by diseased organs, blood, pus, and guts, in a room without windows hidden behind a set of swinging doors, where we spend too much time on our feet but get to improve the quality of someones life or (maybe) extend someones life. At the end of the day, it usually feels pretty good.