Ron Jeremy - Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz

Ron Jeremy

The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz

Ron Jeremy with Eric Spitznagel

To my role models: daddy Arnold, mommy Sylvia, and cousin Eliott Weiss, whose service and sacrifice during World War II helped make this world a safer place, and allowed me the freedom to choose this career. In addition, Id like to give a special thanks to Arnold and Sylvia for raising three children who never touched drugs, never smoked a cigarette, barely drink, and have each been through a six-year college masters degree program. Nice work.

The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.

Archilochus

CONTENTS

On the set of This Lady Is a Tramp , 1980. (Courtesy Chuck Vincent/Video-X-Pix)

It isnt even noon and Ive already had sex with fourteen women.

To be fair, it wasnt entirely my doing. A company called Zane Entertainment hired me to star in a new porno flick called Put It in Reverse, Part 3 . Its a little different than most gang-bang films. Rather than a bunch of guys doing one girlthe typical formulathey pick one lucky stud (in this case, me) to bone over a dozen lovely ladies. Im not so jaded that I dont feel incredibly fortunate. How often does a guy get to be the center of attention, the meat in an all-girl sex sandwich? But its not nearly as much fun as it sounds.

You okay, Ronnie?

I look up to see Chuck Zane staring down at me. Chuck is an old friend, and the producer and founder of Zane Entertainment. Hes been in the business almost as long as I have, and with his slicked-back gray hair and the stogie that never seems to leave his mouth, he looks the part of a porn producer. Hes always been good to me, which is exactly why Ive continued to work with him for well over a decade, starring in such features as I Love Juicy and Americas Raunchiest Home Videos .

I can tell from the concerned look on his face that somethings wrong. He knows that Im a dependable performer and that Ive never failed him yet. But with everything that can go wrong with a gang bang, todays shoot is making him nervous.

Im fine, I tell him. Im just taking a break.

Im sitting by myself in the corner of the room, naked save for a small towel and covered in a syrupy layer of my own sweat. The crew is loading the camera with a new roll of film, so it seemed like a perfect opportunity to sneak away to recover. Ive been having sex for well over three hours straight, and its beginning to take a toll. Im drinking bottles of water like my life depends on it, and given how dehydrated I am, it just might.

Are you sure you dont want some Viagra? Chuck asks me.

What? Of course not. Does it look like I need it?

No, no, youre doing great out there, he says. I was just wondering if maybe you needed a little pick-me-up.

I told you, Im fine. And even if I wasnt, I sure as hell wouldnt take any goddamn Viagra.

Okay, okay, calm down. I just wanted to make sure. We have a case in the back if you change your mind.

If I see so much as one blue pill, Im going to flush it down the toilet. Im serious, Chuck.

He starts to back away. Chuck knows he touched a nerve. Youre a pro, Ronnie, he says, flashing me a toothy smile. Sorry I doubted you.

I dont know why the very idea of Viagra bugs me so much. I guess its because I consider it cheating. Most male porn stars today use some form of Viagra or VigRX or ExtenZe, but Ill never touch the stuff. The minute I need a pill to get wood, Im going to retire from the business. I dont care how old I get. I want my boners to be au natural . Maybe Im being too old school about it, but thats the way I feel.

The girls are lounging in the living room, enjoying their brief break from a hard mornings work. Theyre like a cross section of every mans fantasy: there are blondes and brunettes, blacks and whites, big titties and tiny titties. What more could you ask for? Am I a lucky bastard or what? I cant believe that I get to have sex with women half my age.

Most of these girls are in their early twenties. Only Angella Faith and Jessica Jewel could pass for porn veterans, and theyve only been doing films since the early 1990s. Im a dinosaur compared to them. I was making porn when most of them were still zygotes. I dont even want to think about it. Its too depressing.

Funny thing is, its impossible to say how much longer any of them will be around. Very few performers stay in the business for longer than a few years. They come in, make a few hundred films, and then disappear. You almost dont want to remember their names, because they might be gone before you get a chance to work with them again. Its not like it was back in the 1970s, when I was getting my start in adult films. Back then, it meant something to be a porn star. Everybody knew your name, and you felt like you were part of an extended family.

A radical, on-the-edge, sexually liberated, hippie-dippie family, that is.

Yeah, Im one of those. I can wax nostalgic about the old days with the best of them. There was a time when porno was still shot on film, and we had actual budgets and sets and scripts. Nowadays, porn is all about quick turnaround. Theyll knock out two or three pornos in just one weekend. Hell, Ill be done with this particular shoot before lunch. Back in the day, that was unheard of.

Its also gotten more complicated. Remember when condoms used to be the last thing youd see in a porn film? I do. Youd just show up, stick your dick in whatever girl you happened to be booked with, and be on your merry way. Now, condoms are required. Or at least they were. Three porn actresses tested HIV-positive, and the industry went under lockdown. You couldnt so much as look at another actress without wearing a condom. For this shoot alone, I have to wear a different condom for every girl. Thats fourteen girls, dozens of sex acts, and a different condom each time. You do the math. Ive already gone through a Dumpster of condoms and were not even at the halfway mark yet. Ive taken rubbers off and on so many times my penis looks like it has windburn.

Matt Zane, the director and Chucks son, walks over and sits down next to me. Hes a good kid, though, like the women, hes very, very young. He couldnt be more than twenty-two. He joined the family business last year, and hes already become the new face of Gen-XXX Porn.

How ya feelin, Ronnie? he asks, patting me on the back.

Couldnt be better, I say. You ready to start rolling again?

Any minute now. We just have to get a few more positions and maybe some anal and then well be done. Think you can handle that?

Why does everybody keep asking me that?

Of course I can handle it, I assure him.

Matt smiles and throws a playful punch at my torso. You the man, he says, and returns to his crew.

I can understand why everybody is treating me with kid gloves. Even for a young stud, having sex with the equivalent of a small sorority house is no small feat. The Zane family was kind enough to throw a party last night in my honor. Most of the actresses and a few celebrities, like Elijah Blue and Jonathan Davis of the rock band Korn, toasted me and helped get me excited for what promised to be a daring, almost superhuman undertaking. But the moment the clock hit ten P . M ., I was shuttled off to bed like a kid before his first day of school.

Funny thing is, there are few things I enjoy as much as morning sex. But on a porn set, all the romance and spontaneity is stripped away. You cant just roll over and tap your partner on the shoulder. You actually have to leave the house, and take the long, bleary-eyed drive to whatever backwoods, out-of-the-way location is being used for the days shoot. By the time you get there, your morning wood has been replaced with a sagging mushroom, a shadow of your former glory.