Arina Pismenny - The Moral Psychology of Love

The Moral Psychology
of Love

Moral Psychology of the Emotions

Series Editor: Mark Alfano, Associate Professor of Philosophy, Macquarie University

How do our emotions influence our other mental states (perceptions, beliefs, motivations, intentions) and our behavior? How are they influenced by our other mental states, our environments, and our cultures? What is the moral value of a particular emotion in a particular context? This series explores the causes, consequences, and value of the emotions from an interdisciplinary perspective. Emotions are diverse, with components at various levels (biological, neural, psychological, social), so each book in this series is devoted to a distinct emotion. This focus allows the author and reader to delve into a specific mental state, rather than trying to sum up emotions en masse. Authors approach a particular emotion from their own disciplinary angle (e.g., conceptual analysis, feminist philosophy, critical race theory, phenomenology, social psychology, personality psychology, neuroscience) while connecting with other fields. In so doing, they build a mosaic for each emotion, evaluating both its nature and its moral properties.

Other Titles in This Series

The Moral Psychology of Forgiveness, edited by Kathryn J. Norlock

The Moral Psychology of Pride, edited by Adam J. Carter and Emma C. Gordon

The Moral Psychology of Sadness, edited by Anna Gotlib

The Moral Psychology of Anger, edited by Myisha Cherry and Owen Flanagan

The Moral Psychology of Contempt, edited by Michelle Mason

The Moral Psychology of Compassion, edited by Justin Caouette and Carolyn Price

The Moral Psychology of Disgust, edited by Nina Strohminger and Victor Kumar

The Moral Psychology of Gratitude, edited by Robert Roberts and Daniel Telech

The Moral Psychology of Admiration, edited by Alfred Archer and Andr Grahle

The Moral Psychology of Regret, edited by Anna Gotlib

The Moral Psychology of Hope, edited by Claudia Blser and Titus Stahl

The Moral Psychology of Amusement, edited by Brian Robinson

The Moral Psychology of Boredom, edited by Andreas Elpidorou

The Moral Psychology of Love, edited by Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard

The Moral Psychology
of Love

Edited by
Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

Published by Rowman & Littlefield

An imprint of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706

www.rowman.com

Selection and editorial matter Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard 2022.

Copyright in individual chapters is held by the respective chapter authors.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brogaard, Berit, editor. | Pismenny, Arina, 1985- editor.

Title: The moral psychology of love / edited by Berit Brogaard and Arina Pismenny.

Description: Lanham : Rowman & Littlefield, [2022] | Series: Moral psychology of the emotions | Includes bibliographical references and index. |

Summary: This book will explore the moral dimensions of love from the standpoint of political philosophy, psychology, and neuroscienceProvided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021062438 (print) | LCCN 2021062439 (ebook) | ISBN 9781538151006 (cloth ; alk. paper) | ISBN 9781538151013 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: LoveMoral and ethical aspects. | LovePhilosophy.

Classification: LCC BF575.L8 M67 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.L8 (ebook) | DDC 152.4/1dc23/eng/20220111

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021062438

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021062439

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

For our lovers and teachers

Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard

Ronald de Sousa

Donatella Marazziti and Alessandra Della Vecchia

Katherine Aumer and Michael A. Erickson

Robert J. Sternberg

Bianca P. Acevedo

Aaron Ben-Zeev

Luke Brunning

Gen Eickers

Lotte Spreeuwenberg

Raja Halwani

Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard

Caroline R. Lundquist

Jennifer L. Piemonte, Staci Gusakova, Jennifer D. Rubin, and Terri D. Conley

We are very grateful to our contributors and our editors at Rowman and Littlefield for their patience and hard work during the Covid-19 pandemic.

A very special thanks to our bright and diligent research assistant, Marriah Alcanatara, who has been a tremendous help in putting this volume together.

We are also grateful to Mark Alfano, Rebecca Britney Brogaard, Nol Carroll, Ronald de Sousa, Deepak Devjani, John Doris, Konstantinos Fotiou, Christopher Grau, John Greenwood, Aleks Hernandez, Sarah Levinson, Hichem Naar, Olga Pismenny, Jesse Prinz, Mark Sisti, Eric Slosberg, Aaron Smuts, Ardit Xholi, and our students for insightful discussions on this topic, and for their unwavering support.

Arina Pismenny and Berit Brogaard

Love is a misunderstanding between two fools.

Oscar Wilde

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to getonly with what you are expecting to givewhich is everything.

Katherine Hepburn

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

Erich Segal

The clich if you havent loved, you havent lived conjures up about 512 million Google search results. The clichs popularity attests to the importance and diversity of roles that love plays in our lives. Love is thought to be a fulfilling experience not only because it is often pleasant (when it isnt excruciatingly painful) but also because it aims to forge connections with others, brings meaning to our lives, and often feels like an indispensable ingredient of happiness. At the same time, love is hemmed with imperatives and taboos that imbue it with numerous often-contradictory social meanings: love is blind versus love is seeing clearly, all is fair in love and war versus love is kindness, if you love them, never let them go versus if you love them, set them free. These different love-narratives create a complex set of normative constraints reflected in cultural attitudes toward love. These attitudes are embedded in the minds of individuals and guide their experiences and practices of love. These love-narratives specify the appropriate circumstances, objects, ways of feeling, expressing, and acting in love. Due to their widely accepted status and normative force, the resulting attitudes and expectations are often felt as commands. And these commands are often rendered as moral imperatives.

This suggests several questions: To what extent are moral concerns a part of love itself? What makes love good or bad? What makes love morally praiseworthyif or when it is? What role can and should moral considerations play in love? We might ask similar questions about practical or prudential concerns: When is love good or bad for us, our life goals, people and things we care about, the society at large? The answers to prudential questions might conflict with the answers to moral ones.