Edward Carpenter - Marriage In Free Society and Sex = Love

OF the great mystery of human Love, and that most intimate personal relation of two souls to each otherperhaps the firmest, most basic and indissoluble fact (after our own existence) that we know; of that strange senseoften, perhaps generally, instantaneousof long precedent familiarity and kinship, that deep reliance on and acceptation of another in his or her entirety; of the tremendous strength of the chain which thus at times will bind two hearts in lifelong dedication and devotion, persuading and indeed not seldom compelling the persons concerned to the sacrifice of some of the other elements of their lives and characters; and, withal, of a certain inscrutable veiledness from each other which so frequently accompanies the relation of the opposite sexes, and which forms at once the abiding charm, and the painsometimes the tragedyof their union; of this palpitating winged living thing, which one may perhaps call the real MarriageI would say but little; for indeed it is only fitting or possible to speak of it by indirect language and suggestion, nor may one venture to rudely drag it from its sanctuary into the light of the common gaze.

Compared with this, the actual marriage, in its squalid perversity as we too often have occasion of knowing it, is as the wretched idol of the savage to the reality which it is supposed to represent; and one seems to hear the Aristophanic laughter of the gods as they contemplate mans little clay image of the Heavenly Lovewhich, cracked in the fire of daily life, he is fain to bind together with rusty hoops of law, and parchment bands, lest it should crumble and fall to pieces altogether.