Daniel MacIvor - Never swim alone ; & This is a play

As the audience enters the girl lies on stage under a sheet (perhaps she is mostly unnoticed by the audience). Nostalgic summer music plays.FRANK and BILL enter through the house, greeting the audience and singling people out: Hey, glad you could come. Nice to see you again. Thats a great shirt. Call me Friday, etc. They step on stage and turn to the audience. FRANK & BILL (in unison) Hello.

Good to see you. Glad you could come. They slowly lift the sheet from the REFEREE. She rises. She wears a blue bathing suit. A bay. The point. The point.

Two boys on a beach. Late afternoon. They have been here all day, and they have been here all day every day all summer. It is the last day of summer before school begins. Nearby is a girl. She as well has been here all day, and all day every day all summer.

She lies on her green beach towel in her blue bathing suit with her yellow radio. The boys have been watching the girl from a distance all summer, but now that the summer is nearly over, the boys are braver and watch from very close by. She reminds one boy of his sister; she reminds the other of a picture of a woman he once saw in a magazine. She thinks the boys are funny. She thinks the boys are cute. She turns her head a little over her shoulder and speaks to the boys: Race you to the point? This is the beach.

Here is the bay. There is the point. FRANK and BILL sit. The REFEREE steps to her chair and puts on a whistle. She sits. The REFEREE blows her whistle to begin Round One. FRANK and BILL rise and step forward. FRANK & BILL Two men enter a room. The REFEREE blows her whistle to begin Round One. FRANK and BILL rise and step forward. FRANK & BILL Two men enter a room.

FRANK Good to see you, Bill. BILL Good to see you, Frank. FRANK How longs it been? BILL Weeks? FRANK Months? BILL Too long, Frank. FRANK Too long indeed, Bill. FRANK & BILL Hows things? Cant complain. Hows the family? Just great.

Hows business? Well a whole heck of a lot better then it was this time last year let me tell you. Ha ha ha. Hows the blood pressure? (aside and snide) Ha ha ha. FRANK Two men. BILL Two men. FRANK & BILL Two men enter a room.

A taller man and They stop. They laugh. As they speak they each gesture that he is the taller man. A taller man and A taller man and A taller man and A taller man and The REFEREE blows her whistle to end the round. The men stand side by side facing her. She steps down and inspects them carefully, measuring their height. She stands between the two men, holding their arms.

After a moment she lifts FRANKs arm, giving him the victory. BILL takes his seat. FRANK steps front and centre and addresses the audience. FRANK A. Francis Delorenzo. My friends call me Frank. The A is for Alphonse and not even my enemies call me Alphonse.

Alphonse Francis Delorenzo: French, English, Italian. Behold before you a square of the Canadian quilt. To those of you I didnt have a chance to greet as I entered Id like to say welcome and thank you for coming. Im sure you all have busy schedules and many other concerns in these troubled times and your presence here tonight is greatly appreciated. A hand for the audience! And if I might I would like to start off with a favourite quote of mine: We do not place especial value on the possession of virtue until we notice its total absence in our opponent. Friedrich Nietzsche.